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feeling "less than" while dealing with chronic illness

Lately, I've been immersing myself in TikTok videos that focus on the concept of a "glow up" for women. It's prompted me to reflect on the multitude of beauty products I've felt compelled to purchase in order to attain the idealized version of myself that exists in my mind.

At first, I began compiling a list of these products, but then I paused. This pause represents progress for me because, in the past, I would have undoubtedly succumbed to my insecurities and purchased every single item.

My appearance has been a source of insecurity for me, especially considering that I was unwell for a period of three years and I'm still in the process of recovering. Consequently, I have scars and lesions that don't align with the societal standards of “beauty.”

I often find myself striving to meet the expectations of others, as well as my own, regarding my physical appearance.

However, I don't resemble the individuals I constantly encounter on social media. While I recognize that these influencers likely have imperfections too, I refuse to feel ashamed of my own scars and the decision not to conceal them.

Over the past three years, I've managed to shed a significant amount of weight. But in the past year, I’ve experienced a weight gain.

Assessing my progress becomes challenging when it feels like I'm regressing compared to the people around me. It often feels like taking a step backward rather than moving forward.

Despite these challenges, I am gradually gaining a better understanding of my physical needs and identity. Such self-discovery doesn't happen overnight, particularly for someone who has endured chronic illness.

Ultimately, the emotional aspect is what truly matters, and I'm grateful to acknowledge that I've made substantial progress in that regard.

The societal pressures and expectations imposed on women concerning their physical appearance, behavior, and identity can often create a sense of burden and constraint. It is unjust that society tends to prioritize a person's looks over their accomplishments and character.

I firmly believe that every individual possesses their own unique beauty that goes beyond physical appearance.

If you are currently facing challenges and still persevering, you are displaying a strength and resilience that is truly admirable.

I want to remind you that you are strong, resilient, and powerful, regardless of what society may suggest.

Your commitment to personal growth and development sets you apart, and I hold deep respect for your inner strength and beautiful spirit.

Keep moving forward, and know that you are valued and appreciated for the incredible person that you are.

#CIRS #MentalHealth #Feminism #Empowerment #mold #Selflove #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #Anxiety

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Good Monday morning everyone, i hope you slept well. #newday #MentalHealth #Empowerment

It’s ok to make mistakes, it helps you grow and learn.

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You Dont Know Me

#traumasurvivor

In a land where all things look good and kept is a reality that something’s not quite right.

Enter the villain 🦹‍♀️ the Narcissist who married an Exho. Yet while the Echo was unaware the echo tried so many different things to make IT all work for the children and the spouse. Over the top adventures were agreed to reckless spending and debt was agreed to and in fact co signed the spouse’s University Student Debt.

All was good as long as the spouse was pleased and entertained. However the spouse would become board. Would even start to exhibit out of character behaviour and would go out with their so called friends staying out endlessly while the echo looked after the children.

Then the affairs and the echo would call out the Narcissist. The Narcissist would be confronted by family and would recline into a relationship with the echo again. The cycle continues yet the echo becomes more and more aware more and more watching absent and picks qualities from the narcissist to emulate.

Now there are two in the same house who’s placing their needs of self love over each other’s needs for one and other.

The bed grows cobwebs and there is no passionate connection only passive aggressive behaviour and malicious behaviour with manipulation. Everything is a game a dance of sorrows.

The children watch on as their parents transform from loving caring parents into separate souls who reject each other’s desires or needs.

This sounds horrible yet remember the echo has leaned. Agile and smart in order to survive. Abused neglected and abandoned by their spouse on a numerous occasions for affairs of fancy and inappropriate behaviour.

The echo unaware that the abuse was directed at them and the children becomes even more self aware. Therapy and counselling bring into the light the true situation. The echo sets limit’s expectations the narcissist plows over them the echo sets standards the narcissist prefers to do what they what when they want with who they want.

The echo mimics this behaviour the narcissist becomes unstable and physically aggressive with covert manipulation.

Long story short the echo becomes the villain based on the narcissist’s manipulation.

Now the victim becomes the villain and the divorce starts.

The victim and villain is treated well like the villain reinforcing the trauma and relationships traumas events CPTSD and other mental health related issues like suicidal ideation and dissociation.

The victim or villain becomes incarcerated only to find their true selves in the institution while recovering ❤️‍🩹 from the narcissist being separated from the narcissist and developing a sense of self reliance with spiritual growth.

The victim and villain returns to become the hero 🦸‍♀️

Not the hero to themselves no the echo is still growing underneath and realizing what has truly happened and why IT happened yet this person is not the same person that entry the institution. No this person is completely different. The hero is hero to observers and othe survivors. Becoming an inspiration and testimony to the people who come in contact with the survivor.

The survivor begins helping random strangers empowering their beliefs and self narratives to be self loving with compassion while healing ❤️‍🩹 in peer social and yes groups with others dealing with loved experiences.

The hero is no long an echo no the echo is now an emotionally awakened spiritual healer. Yet growing learning supporting and yes very much still recovering ❤️‍🩹.

This healer this shaman this foraged soul built in the depths of the despair is beyond comprehension to most and yet this story has a happy ending.

The hero continues their journey and helps others along the way while also developing healthy boundaries and relationships because they are now healthy and they now have self compassion for their own needs and the needs of thier children.

The book comes out and there are so many people that are touched by the story and illuminates other’s suffering that they begin to believe and become stronger than ever able to brake their own chains and set themselves free.

The story of one can effect others and empower others.

This is a true story name’s removed for protection.

If this story is happening or has happened to you or someone you are not alone.

You matter

You are important

You belong

You are valued

You are worthy

Please remember to be safe be well be loved 🥰 your worthy.

Don’t forget IT.

We hope this helps someone out there even just one. Don’t give up don’t give in don’t stop fighting. There are so many people depending on you.

You just haven’t met them yet or they haven’t read your store.

#LivedExperiance #Support #MentalHealth #Grief #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #SuicidalIdeation #Survivor #DissociationDisorders #Healing #Recovery #restoration #Newlife #Empowerment #Hope #Joy #Love #peace #patience lots of patience.

Be well we hope this finds you well if you know someone struggling or suffering and situation, please help them. They don’t even know they need help.

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Answering My Own Question

It was apparently a very long time since I posted. When I saw my username was Helen Risdon, it startled me. I wondered how to change it because it hasn’t been that legally since 2015.

A shout out to The Mighty App building leadership team. It was easy to figure out how to change it & put a picture that uplifts me. I hope it uplifts you.

By joining the “Distract Me” group today, it did accomplish that. Now it is time to get back to the serious purpose that I was trained & gifted to accomplish in my retirement years…connecting to others who are taking massive action to weave the equitable, respectful foundational, inflation-proof, Caring & Sharing Economy. That sounds just like all who Dreamed Up & took action to launch or participate in The Mighty App! I am “Grandmothering In” anyone who wants to learn with, and from, each other. That is how to have the best life possible moment to moment! I call those kind of volunteer people “Wellness Weavers”. Everyone of us are “The Mighty Wellness Weavers”. Here’s a hand-drawn graphic on a weathered board that represents us...and the Global2local GreenBiz WOMAN, the Wellness Oriented Mutual Aid Network of businesses & nonprofits that connect their present-future& retired employees, affiliates, customers about #TheMighty #WellnessWeavers and our #Empowerment model that addresses #attitude #Positivity #ShiftOurFocus #Outcomes #LivingResearch #cer (Comparative Effective Research) for those who want #Support to process our #aces1 (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and our #ACEs2 (Adult Crisis Experiences)

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Have you ever been called a name by a bully? I used my nurses’ training, study of wholistic wellness that included the knowledge, skills, attitudes for stress resiliency & management. My Child Care Health studies helped me go be a more helpful school nurse when kids were dealing with bullies. It was the CDC’s “ACEs Study” that helped me realize that kids who are being some version of abused, exploited, neglected, lied about or lied to become the bullies. When we can help connect the bullies to the help they need to process their trauma, we can help them break free of the downward spiral that has physical, intellectual, mental, social, spiritual, occupational, & financial consequences. It is more fun to dress up as a “Fairy Godmother, Toothfairy” and ask people what they need, want, wish or pray for. Then I can tap into my training like any conscientious nurse, social worker, mom, grandmother, friend would do to walk along side as you are connected to a solid, helpful action step.

People who make a lot of money selling prescription or street drugs, or receiving the insurance premiums, deductibles, co-pays, and self-pays like that status quo & called me a name with the initials “PB”. I will give you a clue, instead of being insulted I embraced it and replied, “You are right! I must apply every bit of psychology that I have learned from very smart people & the best TV shows of Private Investigators that solved crimes that others couldn’t. You can also bet that I will turn into a superhero & fly into action to protect the Underdogs & any pups that are being tricked & lead astray to be abused, exploited, neglected, & abandoned!”

What are you wishing for? #Hope #Perspective #Empowerment #attitude #Humor #whatsYourWish

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Broken Heart only unconditional Love can heal. Dog is God in reverse.

This past June 2022 I lost my most loyal best friend who was with me, encouraging and lifting me each day to do better and be better.
She was the most perfectly imperfect dog, with special needs herself due to trauma and we made it through 13yrs and 2months. She jogged with me up to two days before losing the ability to hold herself up sitting and having seizures hourly.
I have treatment resistant Major depression GAD social anxiety ADD and not in the best environment for recovery and growth.

SHE was all I needed. She loved me unconditionally even when I could not bare to get out of bed.
I began TMS treatment in 2020 and have had 3 treatments 36 sessions each.
I must have tried every medicine available over a decade and on absurd amounts bc nothing helped.

The TMS allowed me to lower one of my highest main antidepressants by half which was a miracle.
My Angelpup was my reason to keep going. I wanted to give her the best I could give and coming home after treatment seeing kissing loving her was all I needed to get through the day.

I have now been without a dog since June 2022 and I’m barely holding on. I wake up and my Heart feels painfully empty.
I reside with family for the last decade and they were not interested in educating themselves on mental health to understand me.

My only Mercy over these tormented years was my pup.
My environment contributes negatively to my mental health but I cannot escape it.

I was let go from 2 different jobs after two years with each of them bc I couldn’t keep up when my emotions were running the show.
I am a HSP (highly sensitive person) check out the documentary on Amazon prime video on The Untold story of HSP. Gives incredible insight.

People I reside with see nothing wrong with my physical appearance or suggest disability or struggle, therefore they believe I’m riding the gravy train, being lazy and intentionally unproductively sad all the time.

Now that I’m alone (no dog, no husband, no children, no career, no gift or talent skill that could help me support myself).
I am truly alone.

These family landlords decided dogs would no longer be allowed. (Bc they want me so uncomfortable that I leave to go anywhere that won’t reflect shame on the family.)

My pup was the only certainty of love unconditionally in my life without judgement.
I don’t know if visiting the SPCA is enough anymore bc I cannot keep or connect bond with dogs I can not take home.
I have no income bc mental health has sabotaged any attempts I made to work.
I’m barely hanging on now. I wake up and have no Heart to put into improving my life bc without a partner- specifically a dog.
I am so alone and my Heartbeat was meant to be in sync with another heartbeat.
She got me out of bed exercise martial arts walking yoga etc but without her by my side I haven’t been doing selfcare.
I try to be invisible bc those without understanding of mental health conditions are always negative and feels like being beat down.

Dogs are our direct connection to God’s unconditional love on earth and without that bond I am lost and disappearing.

How do I break out of this circumstance to be able to bond with a dog for inspiration and courage when the home owners will not allow another dog bc they want me to leave and will not make any accommodations that I need for my mental health?
I’ve never been so alone feeling unloved and unwanted in my life.
I’ve been searching for work, gone on interviews, enlisted the help of the MHA mental health association and see a wonderful therapist that without her and my dog I would not be alive today.
I need an emotional support pet ESP and have hit a dead end of options.
Does anyone know of any legit remote work to refer?
Does anyone know where to get a dog for low or no cost to adopt or foster?
I just need a canine to have a Glimmer of Hope to keep going.
I’m also looking for “my people” or “my tribe”. I Hope the Mighty can be my tribe/people.

Does anyone have any suggestions, words or ideas for encouragement that can help me manage my health conditions with no support and most vitally get a dog?

Are there programs of any kind for job training placement, placement of an ESP and anyone with depression living their best life what advice would you give?

#Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #EmotionalSupportAnimal #Empowerment #GettingHelp #EmotionalSupportDog #TherapyDog #dog #Anxiety #hopeless #MentalHealth #MentalHealthDays #Loneliness #help #HowTo #MajorDepression #SituationalDepression

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Mindfulness, mental health and neurodiversity.

I have always struggled with my mental health since being a young child, and have never understood myself, my triggers, or my needs.

About a year ago I named my borderline personality disorder "Sandra" to differentiate between my normal emotions and my BPD.

Today I got told that "Sandra" hasn't been seen for a bit, Sandra has been there she's always there and I am not better, but when it was confirmed that I do have sensory issues things began to slot into place for me, instead of fighting the noise in my head, and screaming at it, and hating it and hoping it would just go away, I learnt by doing this I was just empowering it, so instead I am simply trying to observe and learn my triggers, and watch the noise in my head, and simply observe it, observe the changes and the things I can control and the things I can not.

It is helping me to not fight the noise anymore, fighting the noise never brought me peace.

........ I probably made that sound like it was so easy and that it is easy but it's not, I still have days when I hear the noise, when I feel the noise and where I can't observe it, most days are bad, multiple times a day I still have Sandra I still hear it I still live through it but I am learning what I can control and what I can't control.

I'm doing this through acceptance, I am not afraid to be different, to be quirky, and I am no longer afraid of what people may or may not think about me.

I exercise 3 times a week at my local Crossfit box, and I go even on the days I didn't want to get out of my bed, these are the days I need to observe the noise the most.

But please never hate yourself the way I have over my lifetime, it hasn't served any purpose, it just empowered my bad brain and made the strong side too quiet, I forgot who I was.

It's about finding myself, gaining confidence and empowering the positive part of my brain.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SPD #Empowerment #Life #Happiness #Mindfulness

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