My S.O. is a great guy. He's the rock I hold onto when everything in my life feels as though it will wash me away. We got together before #fibro, so he fell in love with me at my best & has stayed with me through the rest.
He's talented, good looking, a great cook, honest, hard working & he loves me beyond the shadow of a doubt. He's financially stable, works full time with great benefits. But his job is very physically draining, and that fact makes him need rest because his body is sore (we, as #fibrowarriors understand the need to rest better than most). He's also messy and lets his "chores" pile up (he's only got two: the floors and recycling/trash).
I don't generally nag him; #Fibromyalgia , my #Depression , #BPD & general experiences in life have taught me much. But, though for some time I asked nicely & lovingly; nothing changed. My next approach, (being a mother of 2 boys) was automatically reverting to the "mom" tone of voice & giving instructions (It's incredibly difficult not to revert to that when the behavior of a grown man becomes that of a teenager). This builds frustration in my S.O., &, inturn; that frustration comes out in (what I like to call) "asshole tone of voice". Literally, we are left with a communication breakdown; because when asked why he thinks I started talking to him that way, he was literally clueless. (Ack! Right? )
So we discussed that & he brought up another frustration: "when you say you're going to do something, if you don't think you'll be up to finishing the task, don't say you're going to do it." He CLEARLY needs to be educated further on my chronic illnesses. Who among us can make those sorts of guarantees?! & then he followed that up with: "you should have a handle on your condition by now to know what you can & can't get done ahead of time." *me rubbing my forehead in irritation*
He just truly has no idea.
So instead of becoming outraged by this, I once again (but silently this time) took the mom approach & decided to find a way to educate him. The true literal definition of ignorance is basically: "not having had learned that yet". So he needs to be taught (& yes, his general disposition lends itself to learning).
Here's where y'all come in:
Are there books or manuscripts out there that help the mates of "us" understand? Perhaps a video?
#Fibromyalgia #FibroFog #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealthAwareness #fibromyalgiaawareness #EDUCATE