Lyme Warrior

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Forgiveness = Freedom & Peace

I’m sry this is a lil long. I am 52 but the baby in my fam. 3 brothers and 1 sister who passed. One of my brothers who is the only married one said they considered me more like their daughter then a sister.
We were extremely close talked on the phone all the time sleep overs & vacations. I then got sick Lyme twice then diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
I unfortunately was not able to work any longer. I had loved working and loved my career. My company ended up laying off 90% of my department. I was absolutely crushed. At the time I had needed back surgery and ended up getting an anterior lumbar fusion.

When I spoke with my brother he felt that I could and should still work. He and my sister in law started saying that I should lose weight (which they had not known I has lost a considerable amount of weight)
Then they went on to say I should stop drinking which again because I had quit smoking due to the surgery I also stopped drinking.
They then said A LOT to me a lot of things that were out of line. They then proceeded to say the most painful thing to me.
Which was they hoped that I wouldn’t get approved for disability. Now at the time my husband was awaiting his disability as he was hurt on the job. So financially we were struggling. (Sry so long).

So fast forward 10 years I have been on disability and my brother and sister in law do not speak. They told my mother they do not know why we’re not speaking or why I’m mad at them. I think my biggest pet peeve of the whole thing is they said they looked at me as a daughter. Yet they never reach out. We have had a few special occassions were my daughter wanted them there, so we invited them.
They have never invited us to anything. I don’t want to be petty and want to do the whole forgive and forget but the question is I am worthy are they worthy of my forgiveness or can as I have my own family my husband and daughter. Write them off as I feel they did me ?
Whatcha ya guys think

#fibromyalgia #fibrowarrior
#fibrofighter #sickofbeingsick
#chroniclymediseaseawareness #lymesucks #LymeWarrior #lyme
#invisibleillness #spoonielife #chronicpainsucks #epsteinbarr
#ra #rheumatoidarthritis #ic/BPS #interstitialcystitis #ptsd #sciatica #pituitarytumor #nervedamage #ankylosingspondylitis #LymeDisease #LymeWarrior #chronicpain #chronicpainsufferer #ddd #migraines
#immunocompromised #forgive #familydisfunction
#InvisibleDisability #DisabilityBenefits #anteriorlumbarfusion
#LymeDisease #ChronicLymeDisease

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Community Voices

So much stuff!!!

I have been having a really hard time and it’s been a reallly long year for my family.
About me I have Fibro, RA, IC/BPS, sciatica AS, DDD, SpinalFusion spinalstenosis etc..

I have my oldest brother who had a stroke this year. We have always spoken and never had and any issues ( unlike my other siblings that’s another post).

When I was younger my brother more than once sexually assaulted me.
I don’t know if it actually considered that
I was sexually assaulted by my father when I was a child and raped at 15 by an older man.

My brother who is 20 years older than me tried to kiss me on more than one occasion this was when I was in elementary school. He I found out a few years ago was also along with my brothers and my sister were sexually assaulted by my father as well.

So the situation is idkw but after he had his stroke I just couldn’t speak to him.
I did only speak to him because of my mother. I did tell my mother when I was younger and I can only say she made excuses for him and begged me not to not talk to him.

I love my mother very much and we have a very good relationship except for this issue. So I haven’t spoken to him since his stroke and I feel extremely guilty for it.
He has been trying to get in contact with me but I have thwarted contact.

My husband knows and of course he says I should not feel guilty and doesn’t understand why I had been talking to him all these years.
I don’t know if I should say something to my mom who is 85. I don’t think it would do anything but upset her or cause and arguement. Or bother saying anything to my brother. Which idkw I feel bad saying anything which doesn’t make sense.
I know I should have gone to therapy years ago but does anyone have any suggestions how I should proceed in the interim ?

#SexualAbuseSurvivors #SexualAssault #SexualAbuse #SexualAssaultSurvivors #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #SexualTrauma #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibromyalgia #Fibro #InterstitialCystitis #sciatica #DDD #AnkylosingSpondylitis #painfulbladdersyndrome #LymeDisease #ChronicIlless #ChronicLymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #PituitaryTumors #PituitaryTumor #SpinalFusion #gastric sleeve surgery #Anxiety #CPTSD #PTSD #PTSD

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Community Voices
Community Voices

Chronic Pain vs Pain Mangement

I have chronic pain I have Fibro, RA,
ankylosing spondylitis, IC/BPS, sciatica, spinal stenosis, arthritis etc.....

So I am being told by my Pain Dr that I cannot be on pain meds for the rest of my life. Now my pain is chronic as in forever like we know these dx’s are uncureable.
So how can a pain dr take the stance of taking away my pain pills every month ?
She said to me you can’t be on pain meds forever.

You think this is what I wanted to be on a ton of pills a day?
So you’re start weaning me without telling me down. Thing is I foreshadowed this coming so I got my medical marijuana card. In hopes that this can help.

I realized beginning of 2020 she had cut one month by 25 pills without telling me then she started talking to me about cutting more and more and more.
From when we started (year and a half) she already cut me down by by 75 pills and she’s not finished.

I am pisssed as all hell but my husband doesn’t think it’s a big deal. I’m just like if my conditions weren’t chronic and uncureable ok but I’m still gonna be in pain.

4 years ago I had a gastric sleeve so a lot of medicine I was on I was told I could no longer take because stomach. No longer take inflammatories. Now at the time of the surgery I was also on OxyContin for quite a few years by then.

I was told I could no longer be able to take them and was also told by at least 12 dr’s that I would either never be able to get off or it would take years to take me off.

Well we figured out a schedule and I was off them in a month and a half. That’s when they put me on what I am now and she has been trying to crazy weening me every month.

My main concern is I’m 52 I’ve been a warrior now for 20 plus years. It makes me thou really scared to think of what my life is going to be like at 60 or 70. The woman in my family live till late 80’s. Any body else dealing with a similar situation?

#RA #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibro #Fibromyalgia #ic /BPS #InterstitialCystitis #PTSD #sciatica #PituitaryTumors #Nervedamage #AnkylosingSpondylitis #LymeDisease #LymeWarrior #ChronicPain #chronicpainsufferer #DDD #Migraines

26 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Gwyn

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Community Voices
Gwyn

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Gwyn

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Cait
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Gwyn

Anyone else’s leg going numb?

I got diagnosed with Lyme in November of 2018, but had it for 8-9 years before getting diagnosed. Pain is in my jaw, both hips, and both knees along with brain issues (mood changes, anxiety). Lately, I have been having a throbbing pain in my left hip and my left leg goes numb. The numb isn’t like a static pain, but when I move my leg, I get sharp pains up and down my leg. Please help! #lyme #LymeDisease #LymeWars #LymeWarrior #ChronicLymeDisease #ChronicIllness #Spoonie #SpoonieProblems #COVID19

7 people are talking about this
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Gwyn

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