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The mosquito bite

Have you ever thought of a simple mosquito bite? If you see it biting you then it will itch for hours. If you didn’t see it bite you, then you’ll probably never notice it. It goes the same way that a diagnosis goes. If you dwell on it, it takes sometimes years to understand it . The key is don’t dwell. Yes there are treatments that can and will help if you allow it. In Med 101, we learn the 5 predictable stages that people will typically go through after a terminal diagnosis. #1 Denial #2 Anger#3 Bargaining. #4 grieving and #5 ( the most important) Acceptance. These “5 steps can also be used by all of us in the battles we face daily. But remember, our diagnosis isn’t terminal. It’s a beautiful life out there if you know where to look. God opens our eyes to see them, but you won’t see the beauty if your dwelling on something else. Years ago, I made a decision to say Good morning, Good afternoon etc etc to everyone I came across. You never know if that’s the only thing nice that’s been said to that person in awhile. As I browse through a lot of these post, I see members that are dealing with worse things then I am. When you have a chance browse as well. Try not to dwell, try to find the beauty that surrounds you. It might just surprise you….David

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I've recently rediscovered haikus and have found writing them to be very effective when I'm going through a low spell. Here are a few I've written recently...#1 Darkness comes unasked

So heavy, sightless, morose

I await the dawn's rescue#2 The world is so big

Will the vastness swallow me?

I guess I'll find out#3 I miss my old friend

Special days no longer ours

But memories are

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Feeling MY Way Through this Journey #CrohnsDisease #DiabetesType2 #MentalHealth #Allergies #ChildLoss #SpinalMuscularAtrophy #ADHD

I've been going through multiple situations over the past 30 days. #1 My eldest daughter got arrested at a public facility, #2 the year anniversary of my middle daughter's death quickly approaches, #3 Mother's Day is when my mother transitioned, #4 fighting for my life with these UNPROFESSIONAL MEDICAL CARE TEAMS, #5 I have 3 grandboys from my deceased daughter that are in foster care and they refuse family communications. There's so much more, but this is THE TOP 5 STRESSES.


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Elephant in the room #3 : Masks #Depression #Anxiety #honesty #Relationships #PTSD #MentalHealth

Perhaps you can relate to this. You are in the car on the way to church and you can cut the air with a knife. Words have been exchanged that morning. Tension is palpable.

Yet when you get out of the car at church it’s all happy smiles. I hate masks. I detest the pressure to portray something that isn’t real.

When I first started in the ministry we were taught to hide our human failings and to never let people see us struggling. The thinking was that we had to be a positive example to others. This thinking was at best misguided and at worst downright dangerous.

If people think the church leadership is close to living perfect lives they will be reluctant to open up about their struggles and feel they are a second rate Christian because of those challenges

Many years ago I disclosed from the pulpit my battles with mental illness and have maintained a high degree of transparency since then. Some Pastors are shocked I would do that because it shatters the “mystique” centred around us. I say let it shatter.

By removing our masks we invite others to do the same and get the support they need in a non judgmental way, just the way Jesus did. God doesn’t rub our noses in our sin, He rubs our sin away.

Are you comfortable being transparent?

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Just a general question regarding prescriptions…

Update: recently had a change in dosage for ny medication - they gave me 2 medication info sheets upon pick up today. While checking to see if there was a difference, I saw the different inactive ingredients for the different doses by this manufacturer. Turns out, the red dye in my previous dose is controversial for causing cancerl with daily ingestion of high doses(it’s banned in multiple countries and soon to be banned in my state for use in food). It’s reasonable to assume long duration of daily ingestion could also cause cancer, especially since scientists have previously petitioned the FDA to overall ban this red dye (#3 ). Side effects include migraines, irritability, inability to concentrate and upset stomach… Explains why it didn’t seem as effective and why my body felt repulsed when taking it!


So my question is this:
Is it possible to request for a specific manufacturer of a generic formula when I’m ordering my prescription OR at least request not to receive a specific manufacturer when getting my prescription filled?

Does a provider need to make the request OR can I request it only if agreeing to pay for any out of pocket cost?

To give a little more background: I recently had my coverage changed, and when I received a refill of my prescription medication, the manufacturer company was different. While I have been able to receive generic instead of brand name medication for my prescription without much difference in effectiveness, this has been the first time I’m noticing that not only a difference in appearance.
I’ve received the same manufacturer company of the generic formula for several months until this month’s prescription. This “new” manufacturer has different appearance that seems to use a dye or coloring that gives an unpleasant taste. While I’ve overlooked this at first, I have noticed I don’t seem to be getting the same benefit from my medication now as I had with the previous manufacturer’s product.

I’m uncertain if the manufacturer changed because my coverage plan changed or if this was just something that changed in general based on stock at the pharmacy. But I’m starting to feel fairly certain that whether its the inactive ingredients used or the formula for this generic manufacturer, it is not being effective now. What I suspect most is that since the product itself looks different in coloring and that dye causes a noticeably horrible taste (which causes my body to feel repulsed), the inactive ingredients are likely the cause impacting the effectiveness of the medication for me. Simply - my body isn’t tolerating the inactive ingredient of the color dye used by this other manufacturer, causing the medication to be ineffective in treating what the product is supposed to treat.

And if this helps with providing an answer: my prescription is for ADHD medication - I take extended-release generic capsules of generic formula adderall. I have not had brand-name adderall dispensed for years, so I do not think it’s simply the generic formula that is impacting this change. Although I guess different manufacturers can still have different generic formulas?
#Medication #ADHD #JointHypermobilitySyndrome #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigue #Migraine #multiplehealthconditions

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Which one of these did you most need to be reminded of right now? Why? (...and Why I chose #3 about taking care of my body…)

For me there were a few…but one stands out. I’ve been going through a very difficult time right now physically and emotionally and the third one- just the simple reminder that my body is sacred and to cherish it was really important for me to hear right now …as a reminder and encouragement that at times like these it is especially important for me to focus on self care … and give myself permission to do so even if it means sacrificing other things I planned on doing. The fundamentals: drink enough water; eat well; make sure to get enough sleep so my body can rest & recharge; find a few moments to meditate or sit in silence and just focus on breathing; and just going on a short walk or exercising every day (and listen to my body so I don’t overdo it) They sound so simple and basic however they can actually be very hard for me to keep up with when I am down! I can’t change them all at once, but will pick a few to start with and build from there!

Did any of them inspire, encourage &/or empower you?

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Selflove
#Selfcare #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1 #Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression
#ADHD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #COVID19 #Migraine #Headache #RareDisease #HIVAIDS #PeripheralNeuropathy #BackPain #PTSD #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #CheckInWithMe #TheMighty #MightyTogether #DistractMe #Trauma #MightyPoets #Grief

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Rant & Ramble

Part 1
First Of All I Just Want To Say That If You're Fucked Up, & Can't Afford A Therapist, Yet You Want To Be Intimate Please Get Yourself Sterilized.
Now, This Is Why:
I'm A 34 Yr. Old Woman & I'm Still Terrified-Out Of My Skull-Of My Sperm Donor & He's In His 60s.
Well, You Might Be Thinking:
"Just Do The Work Already & You'll Get Over It."
Thing Is That Isn't How It Works.
Because I've Done The Work & I've Unburdened Myself Of This Individual.
I've Come To Realize That It's Because Of My Inner Child.
I Can't Get Rid Of My Inner Child & Thus The Terrors' Going To Remain; If I Could Get Rid Of My Inner Child The Terror Would Go.//
I've Gone No Contact With Him-With Help-YET 3 Things Work Against Me.
1 Leads Into #2 .
2) I Can't Afford A Specialist
& 1,Again, Leads Into #3
3) I Live In The Deep South & Can't Get Out.
How Is #3 Relevant?.
Well, In The Deep South:
1) Stigma,Against Those With Mental/Emotional Illnesses, Is Rampant-& Higher-Than It Is In The North.
Because The North Is More Liberal Than The South.
2) The Deep South Has This Backwards, & Stupid, Mentality:
The "Purity" Of Parents & Family Must Be Preserved At ALL Costs-No Matter The Cost/s.
If An Adult Is Fucked Up It's Their Fault-Nobody Elses'.
Another Words If A Person Suffers From Something Like CPTSD-With All The Conditions That Fall Under This Umbrella-Than It's The Individuals' Fault; Somehow They Developed This All On Their Own.
That Is How Dedicated The Deep South Is To That Preservation Of So-Called "Purity".
It's Ludicrous & Makes Life A 10000x Harder Than It Needs To Be,& Ought To Be, For Adult Survivors Of Child Abuse In The Deep South!.
End Of Part 1

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What's bothering me today? Being single in 2022.

I know its better to get it out than to keep it in so here it goes.

This is a guy who "likes" me and I guess is trying to impress me. I no longer use medical marijuana because although it helps my anxiety it doesn't exactly help my depression so I've taken other routes to supporting my mental health that have been working. I know he's trying to be nice and "joking" but possibly because I know him, this rubbed me the wrong way and I'll tell you why later.

Conversation on social media:

Him: Makes post on social media of sweet treats.

Me: You eat edibles now?

Him: I'm getting better so I can hang with you.

Me: I haven't done it in quite a while so you're way ahead of me.

Him: What! Are you okay? Do I need to make a delivery. Lol

Me:Wait...not doing eds means I'm not okay?? 🤔 Backwards nation we're living in lol 🥴

Him: Whats up, why u not doin well? Bc you haven't had any

Me: What?

Him: Haven't had any weed? I'm not bein fresh

Me:Am I suppose to have it? Lol I'm not being fresh either lol

Him: So what do want? Drink, food or other?

Me: I'm good. Thank you.

Him: Np ❤️ smarty 😂😂

Why did this conversation bother me?

#1 : When you tell someone you're not drinking or smoking and they ask you are you okay? My question is," Why do YOU feel the need to drink and smoke and are you okay?"

Nowadays when you choose to be sober in a drug addicted world, others see it as strange or you're the one who's not okay. 🥴 Weird.

#2 : When you tell someone you're not drinking or smoking and they still offer or ask do you want some?

This is my life and my journey. Of course I can always kindly and simply say no thank you but nobody should be put in the position to be questioned and to explain themselves as to why they don't want to do something that they don't want to do.

#3 : I have a medical card and can get marijuana whenever I need it. I told him I haven't done it in quite a while but he still offered me some. I don't need a stanger dropping off weed to me. This bothers me because people who don't have access or money would have fallen into this trap and taken off their journey not to mention the safety and security concerns. I especially want women to be careful in situations like this but everyone should use their best judgment.

#4 I get that I am who I attract and I attract who I am but come on universe what this be? Lol Right now I'm in my own little world, healing in my own little universe. I see situations like these as tests. I believe when you're moving into a new chapter in your life the universe will see if you're ready to move forward and im ready. Nothing is going to have me go backwards. Upward and onwards is the only direction I'm headed.

#5 Why did I relate this to being single? Because we would have never met and exchanged numbers if I was in a relationship. We met twice previously and never even indulged in any weed together. He's not a bad guy but trying to impress me this way is a major turn off.

Okay, rant done! Good night 🌃

#Depression #MedicalMarijuana #Anxiety #Dating #weed #single #Life


You may have PTSD/CPTSD if…

So I’ve noticed those with CPTSD and PTSD often report similar experiences. I hadn’t realized how typical my own were until I read others stories. So I thought I’d make a list of common shared experiences in those with PTSD/CPTSD…

#1 Your abusers and told you the abuse was normal and everyone does it ergo you’re being dramatic.

#2 You blamed yourself without even realizing it. Let’s face it we don’t walk away thinking it’s our fault clear as day. That’s illogical. But we walk away with doubts that eventually dig into our heads while we’re not even paying attention. The next thing we know we think we’re inherently bad and deserving of being treated as such.

#3 You switch back and forth from having sympathy for you’re abuser to believing they’re evil incarnate.

#4 You wonder if you’re too damaged to think for yourself. If you don’t have experience in what’s right then can you know what’s wrong?

#5 You avoid watching any movies or tv shows with extremely painful emotional expressions yet are strangely drawn to them.

#6 You wake up feeling panic and/or anxiety and expecting something terrible to happen to you every day.

#7 You struggle to set necessary boundaries with others because you worry they’ll reject you. Perhaps you feel you’re not worthy of boundaries.

#8 You don’t trust anyone and struggle with emotional intimacy. Perhaps you feel scared everyone is going to hurt you.

#9 You have chronic migraines, irritable bowels, and/or body aches all the time.

#10 You need to be in control of everything at all times so you know what’s up. Even things that to others seems inconsequential.

#PTSD #CPTSD #Trauma #Abuse