4

I use cannabis for arthritis, glaucoma, and my mood disorder and anxiety. Mostly for my mood. It is the only way i have to regulate my anxiety because doctors dont want to prescribe anti-anxiety medicine. I find cannabis more effective than codeine #4 for pain. I have adhd and it doesnt help my attention but i can work through that. Its not a perfect situation but it gives me so much relief to my mood and pain thank goodness. With adhd its a constant search for dopamine. Not like an addict but just to feel normal and motivated to have a productive day. I hate that i feel less than because of this but it is how God made me and i have some wonderful creative and intellectual gifts because of it. Im in grad school with a 99% average in my class now. Im super happy. I used to be super depressed to the point that i weighed 125lbs. Im supposed to weigh 175lbs. Im better now. Partly thanks to cannabis. I hate the stigma around it and my adhd meds. Makes me feel like my docs think Im just trying to get high when i swear all i want to do is function to the best of my ability and not be in so much pain. But at least we are medically legal in my state. We are making progress. I want to work to take the stigma off off adhd and pain meds for people who desperately need them to function. #CannabisCorner #Bipolar #ADHD #productive

I know its better to get it out than to keep it in so here it goes.

This is a guy who "likes" me and I guess is trying to impress me. I no longer use medical marijuana because although it helps my anxiety it doesn't exactly help my depression so I've taken other routes to supporting my mental health that have been working. I know he's trying to be nice and "joking" but possibly because I know him, this rubbed me the wrong way and I'll tell you why later.

Conversation on social media:

Him: Makes post on social media of sweet treats.

Me: You eat edibles now?

Him: I'm getting better so I can hang with you.

Me: I haven't done it in quite a while so you're way ahead of me.

Him: What! Are you okay? Do I need to make a delivery. Lol

Me:Wait...not doing eds means I'm not okay?? 🤔 Backwards nation we're living in lol 🥴

Him: Whats up, why u not doin well? Bc you haven't had any

Me: What?

Him: Haven't had any weed? I'm not bein fresh

Me:Am I suppose to have it? Lol I'm not being fresh either lol

Him: So what do want? Drink, food or other?

Me: I'm good. Thank you.

Him: Np ❤️ smarty 😂😂

Why did this conversation bother me?

#1 : When you tell someone you're not drinking or smoking and they ask you are you okay? My question is," Why do YOU feel the need to drink and smoke and are you okay?"

Nowadays when you choose to be sober in a drug addicted world, others see it as strange or you're the one who's not okay. 🥴 Weird.

#2 : When you tell someone you're not drinking or smoking and they still offer or ask do you want some?

This is my life and my journey. Of course I can always kindly and simply say no thank you but nobody should be put in the position to be questioned and to explain themselves as to why they don't want to do something that they don't want to do.

#3 : I have a medical card and can get marijuana whenever I need it. I told him I haven't done it in quite a while but he still offered me some. I don't need a stanger dropping off weed to me. This bothers me because people who don't have access or money would have fallen into this trap and taken off their journey not to mention the safety and security concerns. I especially want women to be careful in situations like this but everyone should use their best judgment.

#4 I get that I am who I attract and I attract who I am but come on universe what this be? Lol Right now I'm in my own little world, healing in my own little universe. I see situations like these as tests. I believe when you're moving into a new chapter in your life the universe will see if you're ready to move forward and im ready. Nothing is going to have me go backwards. Upward and onwards is the only direction I'm headed.

#5 Why did I relate this to being single? Because we would have never met and exchanged numbers if I was in a relationship. We met twice previously and never even indulged in any weed together. He's not a bad guy but trying to impress me this way is a major turn off.

Okay, rant done! Good night 🌃

#Depression #MedicalMarijuana #Anxiety #Dating #weed #single #Life

#Bipolar1Disorder

It has been an interesting 🤨 experience- having covid .

Having that virus 🦠 in my body makes me feel weird.

💕 #recovering

So I’ve noticed those with CPTSD and PTSD often report similar experiences. I hadn’t realized how typical my own were until I read others stories. So I thought I’d make a list of common shared experiences in those with PTSD/CPTSD…

#1 Your abusers and told you the abuse was normal and everyone does it ergo you’re being dramatic.

#2 You blamed yourself without even realizing it. Let’s face it we don’t walk away thinking it’s our fault clear as day. That’s illogical. But we walk away with doubts that eventually dig into our heads while we’re not even paying attention. The next thing we know we think we’re inherently bad and deserving of being treated as such.

#3 You switch back and forth from having sympathy for you’re abuser to believing they’re evil incarnate.

#4 You wonder if you’re too damaged to think for yourself. If you don’t have experience in what’s right then can you know what’s wrong?

#5 You avoid watching any movies or tv shows with extremely painful emotional expressions yet are strangely drawn to them.

#6 You wake up feeling panic and/or anxiety and expecting something terrible to happen to you every day.

#7 You struggle to set necessary boundaries with others because you worry they’ll reject you. Perhaps you feel you’re not worthy of boundaries.

#8 You don’t trust anyone and struggle with emotional intimacy. Perhaps you feel scared everyone is going to hurt you.

#9 You have chronic migraines, irritable bowels, and/or body aches all the time.

#10 You need to be in control of everything at all times so you know what’s up. Even things that to others seems inconsequential.

#PTSD #CPTSD #Trauma #Abuse

There is no way I could write everything that happened to me. It is still happening and will never end until I totally walk away. . My family was always viewed as picture perfect. My mother was beautiful, my father was a handsome very successful business man. As children and young adults, we were successful and basically well behaved. It lasted for about 8 years in my life - I was one of the youngest- and lasted the first 18 years of my older siblings. However, I watched life unravel as I reached my preteen years. It never stopped. I went through trauma after trauma that often shocks my psychologist. However, I am truly a survivor! I hope people will stop believing the happiest people are in big houses with country clubs and private schools. I taught emotionally disturbed children for 36 years. My school was considered one of the largest and most poverty stricken. I usually had the same students for 4 or 5 years, and I discovered that their families were the most loving and honest people I had known. Even after I retired, parents would call me to talk to me. As my Mother’s memory began to glitch, students and parents would call me to come get her while they served her iced tea and treated her with dignity. It is the values we develop, recapture, and remember that matter. It’s not the appearance. Be very wary of perfection and believe in love. ❤️ #c -PTSD, #Anxiety ,#4 Chronic Illnesses in