Ace

For a while now I‘m wondering if I am ace. There are a couple of things that would add up. I‘ve never had a relationship and I‘ve never had sex. I don’t really like being touched or hugged. It rarely feels good. It could also be my chronic depression or the trauma relating to some things I experienced in my teens.

Most of the time I don‘t feel like missing out. Except sometimes when I‘m overthinking what being normal feels like and why I can‘t be like other people my age. By the way, I‘m 31 and still living with my parents. I don‘t think I‘ll ever move out because I can‘t afford living on my own and also I‘m good with my parents. I‘m having my own floor and things, so it‘s more like sharing the same house but not necessarily the same space. They don‘t even want me to pay rent. They‘re really cool and I‘m glad having them.

I‘m also not really worried being ace. It‘s just that it doesn‘t feel completely right since I sometimes feel sexual attraction and fantasize about being in a romantic relationship but almost never with people I really know. Also thinking about having sex with others feels pretty weird, still I‘m wondering if I‘d like it. So I‘m just curious. It‘s the same with romantic relationships.

I know there‘s also demisexual and demiromantic. Sometimes I even wonder why and if I even need any label. Maybe it would help, maybe not. Maybe it’s just my chronic depression stealing my vibe. I don‘t know. Can anyone relate? How do you know, like, that‘s it, this is you?

#asexual #aromantic #Ace #Depression

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It’s already frustrating how this society expects everyone to be s3x-hungry when it’s not even the reality. Way to make me feel at home (/sarc). I’m sex-positive, but I’m also realistic, and to be honest, I shouldn’t have to say it.

Not everyone wants to have s3x. Not everyone wants to have it as frequently as it is portrayed in the media. Or at all.

Saying that s3x is natural or is a natural feeling excludes asexuals and those on the ace-spectrum because of not feeling “standard” attraction (I’m ace-spec). It also invalidates those who are repulsed/aversed and those who are traumatized by sex (assault/molestation) and/or its media (not to be confused with sex-negative, a political counterpart to sex-positive). Not to mention, it feeds on the idea of alienating these individuals as “broken”, “unnatural”, and “disordered” (which the US literally labels it as a disorder 😡).

It may be natural to others, but not to everyone, and that is okay and 1000% valid!

Make it a place where those who are into s3x, those who aren’t into it, and those who are traumatized by it coexist with each other. Please! We need to be heard, too!! /srs

#Sex #LGBTQIA #asexual #Ace #Aphobia #SexualTrauma #Trauma #NotEveryoneWantsSex