ADHD in girls

Growing up, I always felt different, but I couldn’t explain why. Teachers said I was smart but too quiet. Friends and family thought I was sensitive. At home, I often heard that I was lazy, dramatic, or overthinking things. Deep down, I believed there was something wrong with me, I just didn’t know what.

I’d heard of “ADD” growing up. My dad used to say he had it because he always had trouble paying attention, and I felt that whole-heartedly. Deep down, I always suspected that if “ADD” was a real thing, I probably had it too. But I never looked into it any further. It wasn’t until adulthood that I finally learned the truth: I’m neurodivergent. For the longest time, I thought ADHD only applied to boys, especially the hyperactive ones who couldn’t sit still. Since I wasn’t bouncing off the walls, I didn’t fit the stereotype. Like so many women, I was overlooked because my struggles didn’t match the narrow, male-centered picture of ADHD and autism.

I didn’t receive my ADHD diagnosis until I was 35. I actually had to advocate for myself to get tested because even my “unprofessional” psychiatrists—actually their nurse practitioners—didn’t listen to me or believed anything I was telling them. I guess they never learned in school what masking is. I fought tooth and nail for the answers I so desperately needed, and when I finally got them, suddenly my entire life made sense. All of the constant struggles, the burnout, the way I experienced the world more intensely than others. But getting to that point took years of confusion and self-blame. And I know that I’m not alone in that.

Many women don’t receive an ADHD or autism diagnosis until later in life, if at all. According to ADDitude Magazine, ADHD in women is frequently missed because symptoms are often internalized—showing up as anxiety, daydreaming, or difficulty with organization—rather than the more “typical” hyperactive behaviors seen in boys. Similarly, the Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network notes that girls are often better at masking their challenges by mimicking peers, which makes their struggles less visible.

That masking comes at a cost. For years, I became an expert at hiding my difficulties, pushing through, and pretending I was fine. On the outside, I looked put-together; on the inside, I was exhausted. Without answers, I carried shame and the belief that I was failing at things everyone else seemed to manage so easily.

When I finally got diagnosed, it was like breathing for the first time. That shift in perspective gave me the space to heal, to grow, and to start embracing who I am. But I can’t help but think: what if I had known sooner? How much pain, confusion, and self-doubt could have been avoided?

This is why I speak up now. Too many women are overlooked because the research, the criteria, and the awareness haven’t fully caught up to how neurodivergence shows up in us. We deserve better. We deserve to be seen, supported, and celebrated for the unique strengths we bring.

“Too many women suffer in silence, their brilliance hidden behind the mask of being ‘too sensitive’ or ‘too emotional.'”--Anonymous

#ADHDInGirls #ADHD #MentalHealth

✨ Recovery isn’t about choosing between lived experience or clinical expertise—it’s about weaving them together.

Lived wisdom grounds us in empathy and shared humanity. Clinical knowledge helps us understand patterns, symptoms, and strategies for moving forward. When both come together, recovery becomes more than surviving—it becomes building a life with tools, language, and compassion that last.

💬 💬 How has lived experience or professional insight shaped your own journey, and how do you—or how can you—bring both together in the way you heal, grow, and support others?

My experience has taught me that one balances the other, and that it’s okay not to know everything. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know,” and to admit when I’m scared of being vulnerable—because that honesty is where real connection and recovery begins. And that we have many conversations on seeking help but not enough conversations on what is best for us and what is the power to help us get that support

And here's a few things that I learned that help me to do play an active role in my journey.

✅ Ways to proactively advocate with your support team:

Be clear about your goals and needs. Share what you’re working toward—whether it’s stability, reducing symptoms, or building coping tools—so your team knows what success looks like for you.

Ask questions and request explanations. Don’t hesitate to ask why a treatment, strategy, or approach is being suggested. Understanding the reasoning helps you stay engaged and confident in your care.

Set boundaries and give feedback. Advocate for what feels helpful and speak up if something isn’t working. A good team will respect your voice, adjust, and work with you—not just on you.

⸻

🔍 How to recognize good support vs. unhelpful support:

Good support looks like:
• Listening without judgment.
• Valuing your lived experience alongside professional expertise.
• Encouraging collaboration and respecting boundaries.
• Empowering you to make informed choices.

Unhelpful support looks like:
• Dismissing your concerns or minimizing your experiences.
• Making decisions for you without your input.
• Using shame, guilt, or pressure as motivators.
• Creating dependency instead of building your confidence and skills.

#ADHDInGirls #ADHD #Neurodiversity #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #SubstanceRelatedDisorders #MightyTogether

Creativity has always been somewhat bittersweet for me. It’s both a gift and a challenge. As someone who’s neurodivergent, the ways ideas flow through me rarely looks like the tidy, straight-forward process the world expects. And honestly? That’s part of the beauty and the struggle.

For me, creativity always comes in bursts. I’ll get a sudden wave of energy and dive headfirst into a new project or task. First things first, I love when things are neat, tidy, and organized. It gives me a sense of control and makes life feel easier. Buying new items to help me stay organized excites me, and the thought of labeling, filing, and making everything accessible feels motivating and satisfying.

But eventually, the little system I set up begins to unravel. The neatly filed papers lose their order, new ones pile up on my desk, and before long, frustration sets in. Sometimes I abandon the whole thing altogether, tossing it aside when the spark that fueled my organization fizzles out. That’s the rhythm of my creativity. I’m great when it comes to starting, but not always consistent with follow-through.

The same thing happens with my writing. I’ll begin a creative story, and when I’m in that flow, it feels near euphoric. Words are just pouring out me faster than I can type. But then comes the wall—writer’s block, mental fatigue, or just a sudden drop in motivation. And just like that, the story sits unfinished, gathering dust.

This is the rhythm of my ADHD. I start a lot, finish a little, and I live with endless half-finished projects. It used to feel like total failure, but over time I realized this is just simply the way my brain works. Ideas are always constantly there, but not every one of them hit the paper. Some are just meant to exist in motion.

And the truth is, neurodivergent people are wired for creativity and self-expression. Our minds see connections others might miss. We notice details, emotions, and patterns in ways that bring depth to whatever medium we use. Whether it’s painting, music, design, or for me, writing. Writing is the one creative outlet that has always felt most natural to me. It gives me space to process, to imagine, and to express what otherwise might stay bottled up.

Yes, unfinished projects will always be a part of my reality. But that doesn’t make my creativity any less valid. In fact, it makes it uniquely mine. Creativity doesn’t always need to be polished, published, or completed to have value. Sometimes, the act of creating in itself is enough.

“Creativity is intelligence having fun.”--Albert Einstein

#ADHD #ADHDInGirls #Neurodiversity #MentalHealth

As a human who's battled depression since childhood, I really needed this reframe.
Life isn't either/or. It's both.
I hope this is encouraging to you.
#AutismSpectrumDisorder #ADHD #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #Addiction #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CeliacDisease #ChildLoss #Grief #ADHDInGirls
#ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Lupus

I fell off the map for a few days - I hope I didn’t worry you, and I apologize if I did. Thank you for checking in on me even when I couldn’t respond. I was able to get back to a somewhat manageable mental “normal” at least for the time being. Work is still a lot, the collective task list is a lot, home life is a lot, but I’m trying to not think about it for just a little bit. I just need to turn my mind off and get some (very long overdue) cleaning done. I’m not ignoring your texts, I swear, I just couldn’t handle my thoughts for too long on this. Please don’t stop reaching out - I do read your messages, and when I’m in a better head space, I will reply. Thanks for being patient with me. I’m doing my best.

I know we’ve talked about how I don’t necessarily fit the typical autistic or ADHD stereotype, but if you think about it, I’ve have at least the last 30 years to perfect my ability to hide my real self - I’m an expert. I’ve even fooled myself, but now, it’s become a problem because the pressure is too great to handle alone. I’m embarrassed, self critical, angry, and ashamed that I can’t handle it alone, that I’m not strong enough. I resist help even when it’s the only way out; I am trying to recognize when I need help and learning how to allow myself to ask for help - it’s more difficult than I expected. I appreciate you, your help and for thinking of me. I’m working on getting out of the trenches, but, for now, I’m hopeful. I will be in touch when able 🤟🏻

[if you don’t have the words to text a friend for help, feel free to copy and paste to at least let your loved ones know about your situation. As someone who works in the medical field, I can say that everyone is different; bodies, minds, needs, etc can differ greatly from person to person. Help for one person may adversely a/effect another. Something you may not think to try could move you in a good direction.
What do YOU need?
Ask for that, aim for that, it’s easier said than done, obviously, I’m struggling as well, but I want to be able to feel like I’m allowed exist, not just trying to survive, and I think that alone is worth the struggle. I’m rooting for you.]

#MentalHealth #AspergersSyndrome #AutismSpectrum #AutismSpectrumDisorder #ADHD #ADHDInGirls #Anxiety #Depression

Gratitude doesn’t always look like a journal entry or a social media post with a list of things you’re thankful for. Sometimes, it’s quiet. Sometimes, it shows up in the decision not to give up on yourself. Other times, it’s in the deep breath you take before trying again—before getting out of bed, making that call, showing up to your support group, or deciding to stay clean for one more day.

In mental health and recovery, gratitude I have learned it often evolves. At the start, it might feel distant or even impossible. But as we heal and grow, we start to notice the little things: the right people staying, the wrong people leaving, the clarity that slowly returns, or even just feeling our emotions without shutting down.

And here’s the thing: defining what gratitude means for you is powerful. It’s not about toxic positivity or pretending everything is okay. It’s about honoring the small wins, the tough lessons, and the moments when you choose to keep moving forward—even when nobody sees it.

Gratitude can look like boundaries. It can look like rest. It can be telling someone you’re struggling instead of pretending you’re not. It’s not performative—it’s personal. And defining it on your own terms helps you own your journey, not compare it to someone else’s.

So if you’ve ever thought, “I should be more grateful,” maybe pause and ask, “What does gratitude really mean to me right now?” You might be surprised at how deeply it’s already showing up.

Lastly remember you’re doing better than you think. #ADHD #ADHDInGirls #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #AspergersSyndrome #Autism #BipolarDisorder #Depression #Addiction #PTSD #Neurodiversity