Anorexia Nervosa

My GI told me I'm losing too much weight and wants to put me on feeding tubes. I'm terrified and so down about it. Feels like I won't ever be able to be normal again. Can anyone with feeding tubes relate? And how were you able to get over all the different intense emotions? #Gastroparesis #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD #AnorexiaNervosa

Nothing literally has purpose anymore. I understand its depression. I understand there is treatment. But i literally have nothing left in me to try. The intrusive thoughts of suicide used to bother me but now its just a droning. Im used to it for years but at some point you just csnt do it. Im supposed to go to eating disorder treatment soon and most of me is wondering what the point is. I think this time the depression seems irreversable. There is no anchor for me to stay anymore. Im suicidal everyday ( i dont have a plan, means of intent, im staying alive), but im dissociated most of the time. Im also homeless as i left a violent home, a friend got me a hotel till today. I have a suppliment that helos me wake up every day but i dont see the point in doing anything. Just venting. And hating myself for being so depressing. I have coping skills. And resources. And a few people i can talk to. I just have no motivation to actually use them and emotionally i feel like a burden though intellectually i understand that i am not. Going to the hospital does not help just makes me feel worse about myself. Caught between life and death with no will to live yet no energy or means to...not live. Living in a void. This isnt a life. I dont even care to feel better. Just existing. Till i dont.

#Depression #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ComplexPTSD #PTSD #Anxiety

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #AnorexiaNervosa #Addiction #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EatingDisorders

Hi, my name is Alyssa (25, she/her) “angelnumber777”. I'm here because I have one foot in the door of Recovery and one foot out. I am personally struggling a lot with Anorexia (on-going relapse), navigating through trauma anniversaries, insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks, and sensory sensitivities related to chronic PTSD, while grieving the loss of my still living father whose life I saved when he OD’d on heroin/fentanyl. I haven’t seen nor heard from my father since the night I took him to the hospital because I defied his side of the family by taking action when no one else would. The following day, I was outcasted, blacklisted, and blocked in every way possible. That was in August of 2021, and I have been struggling since then through 6 months of residential, 2 treatment centers, PHP, outpatient, relapses, and more. However, I am resilient, honest, empathetic, and I strive to heal and forgive (for myself, not those who have abused/neglected me). I am putting this out there because there is courage and strength in vulnerability. Ultimately, I do know what to do in order to step back into Recovery. What I feel is stuck and unable to progress towards my goals, despite some internal/external motivation. If you have read this far, thank you for listening to my heart speak.

#MightyTogether #Anorexia #PTSD #SubstanceUseDisorders #Grief #OCD #Depression #Anxiety

Hi, my name is Alyssa (25, she/her) “angelnumber777”. I'm here because I have one foot in the door of Recovery and one foot out. I am personally struggling a lot with Anorexia (on-going relapse), navigating through trauma anniversaries, insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks, and sensory sensitivities related to chronic PTSD, while grieving the loss of my still living father whose life I saved when he OD’d on heroin/fentanyl. I haven’t seen nor heard from my father since the night I took him to the hospital because I defied his side of the family by taking action when no one else would. The following day, I was outcasted, blacklisted, and blocked in every way possible. That was in August of 2021, and I have been struggling since then through 6 months of residential, 2 treatment centers, PHP, outpatient, relapses, and more. However, I am resilient, honest, empathetic, and I strive to heal and forgive (for myself, not those who have abused/neglected me). I am putting this out there because there is courage and strength in vulnerability. Ultimately, I do know what to do in order to step back into Recovery. What I feel is stuck and unable to progress towards my goals, despite some internal/external motivation. If you have read this far, thank you for listening to my heart speak.

#MightyTogether #Anorexia #PTSD #SubstanceUseDisorders #Grief #OCD #Depression #Anxiety

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #BingeEatingDisorder #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #AnorexiaNervosa #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EatingDisorders #Schizophrenia #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Mania #Addiction #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Trichotillomania #Anorexia #AnorexiaNervosa

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EatingDisorders #Schizophrenia #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Mania #Addiction #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Trichotillomania #Anorexia #AnorexiaNervosa