AS

#It is a s- - ty night .She is my best friend/daughter #. I miss her so much.Yea well you can call or text her. #Guess what , that’s not the same thing .
I am angry,because I am getting older,cause my daughter is gone. I am over the top proud of her, she is an amazing young person.And my son is great and he will be gone and on his own.We have been blessed with two excellent kids I say kids but they are grown. I am in tears writing this. #AS hard as I worked my body, I am disappointed in where I am now. #in the summer she likes to go to the beach. # before when the where younger I would say he’ll yeah let’s go. But now, my f- -king body Dicktates what I can and can’t do and I hate . I could put my fist through a wall. I want to destroy something .But I hurt to bad.And when she comes home from college, she wants to do stuff,maybe go shopping or go to the park,the flea market people sale all kind of stuff.If I am having a bad day she and her dad will take her.This last time I was not able to do much.They say stress causes fiber flare They can last from a short time to a long time #.I am so so angery I have to find something. #I am so tired of this crap.I just want to be better for my kids. I love them so much.I will cry my self to sleep. #Love #

So I've been really keeping up with my health; taking the correct supplements, drinking water, staying mobile, flexible, trying to sleep enough, staying warm, taking my pain meds, all the things. And I've been feeling really good, it is scary though. It's like I'm waiting everyday to flare up, I expect to not be able to walk in the mornings. I go all day and then feel shaky, I go to bed and can't roll over at night, I wake up early and can't fall back asleep. I'm in what I would call remission, and yet, it sucks. Because it doesn't feel real. It doesn't feel okay anymore. I feel like I should be flaring, and I'm not. I don't feel 'sick'. I know that I am, and I hate to be comfortable because any minute, day, or hour I could stand up and not be able to walk on my own. Remission Sucks... except that it shouldn't. That's my thoughts. How is everyone doing today?

#Autism #AS #AustismSpectrum

#DistractMe

It is out of control. I feel judged every time I’m in the hospital or if I have to be In the ER or admitted I fear being labeled a drug seeker. I was hospitalized last week and the Hospitalist made me feel awful for needing medication and luckily my doctor was the one that admitted me and knows me and pretty much kicked this doctor off my case and he had another Hospitalist consulted on my admission. I wish he could walk a mile
In my shoes and have a little empathy. I remember my aunt was strongly anti opioid, until she had shoulder surgery and the Hydrocodone they gave her wouldn’t touch her pain from her rotator repair, with both a biceps tendon repair and laberal repair. She ended up in the ER and admitted on a Morphine PCA pump. She was on the PCA for about 36 hours and they switch her to Morphine IV every 3 hours for two days and discharged her this time on Percocet and even on Percocet she still ended up in the ER again after her first PT session and gave her some IV Morphine to stabilize her pain. She was on the Percocet for almost eight-ten weeks having to get multiple refills. She was so judgmental about pain meds before her surgery, I was there for her during all this and from the day of her surgery she treats me completely different and empathizes with me, understands when I am not doing great and has not said a word about the evils of pain medication since that day. Sometimes people just need to walk a few feet in our shoes!