babies

As a bit of a background… Because of my heart condition and other health issues, it would be very dangerous to become pregnant. Either my medication would kill the baby, or the baby would kill me. I thought I’d resigned myself to the fact that I’d never have my own children.

In March of last year, my younger sister announced that she was pregnant… And it broke me. I was so upset and I took it out on her. I said that her boyfriend would run the second the baby was born. I said that the recreational drugs would kill the baby, and that I’d be glad about it. I told her she wasn’t mature enough to bring life into this world. I continued to lash out over and over again.

After a while, I resigned myself to the fact that she was going to have a baby and I’d be alone for the rest of my life. No baby, no partner. Don’t worry, I know I was being a monster.

Then in June, she had the scan that determined the sex of the baby - I’d bet £20 that it was going to be a boy. My sister was so sure it was a girl. I became £20 richer! She brought home photos of the scan, and something in me clicked. The anger and my misery started to melt away. Thankfully, she stopped the drugs when she found out she was pregnant. And as she started to become so much more mature and responsible, the better I felt about the pregnancy.

November 4th, little Oskar was born by emergency c-section. A few days later, when she brought him home, I fell in love. I felt this incredible bond with him. When he cried, he would fall asleep the second I held him. He’s so big now! 14lbs! And I love him more than anything else in the world.

He recently started doing that baby talk, where he just cooes? My god. Every time he does it, I get a sudden burst of serotonin. I’m not even kidding. If anyone hurts him, I’m gonna break their wrists. 😏

My sister has really blossomed as a mother. She’s very good with little Oskar. I can see that he’s the light in her life. It’s heartwarming to witness.

Anyway, this post is already reeeeally long. I just wanted to know if anyone else has had these difficulties with being unable to have children, while everyone around you is getting pregnant?

#babies #nephew #CuteBaby #Pregnancy #Depression #BPD

#Caregivers #Parents #babies #Fear #caringbridge

A physician once shared some insightful advice with me for anyone who engages with patients, their families and caregivers.

He was a pretty imposing guy, who rarely minced words. Our conversation began when I asked him why he shaved his head. He was, after all, director of the New Born Intensive Care Unit and hardly needed to worry about being recognized. His answer, like most of his advice, was uncomplicated:

“I shave my head because all my patients are bald.”

So, I asked him to elaborate. “Well, when parents and caregivers come into this unit, they are already frightened because they have a sick child. They are frightened about the outcome of a premature or traumatic birth. They are frightened about the future and about what the doctor will tell them. Shaving my head is my way of showing solidarity with families and their babies.

This prompted me to ask what he expected of us chaplains and of other concerned visitors who come to support families.

“Just three things,” he replied, rubbing his shiny head for emphasis. “Show up, listen, and tell the truth.”

It made sense. Though chaplains often encounter stressful situations, friends and loved ones can find it difficult to show up. It might feel like an intrusion, or they worry that they could encounter an emotional outburst.

The doctor’s second instruction is not so easy. Listening, without judgement to a distressed parent or caregiver can prompt a well-meaning friend to bolt, or worse, to offer forced conversation and less than helpful advice.

As for the doctor’s third point, tell the truth, it’s easier than one would expect. Begin by skipping any details of your own experiences and agendas. In fact, no words can be more truthful and powerful than awkward chatter. Think about what you could realistically provide. Tell the worried caregiver that you care deeply and you would like to add whatever support is reasonable and possible. That kind of truthfulness really matters.

This post honors my encounter with a family and a tiny newborn in the NICU. It was 24 years ago this week, and it launched the creation of CaringBridge. Blessings on you all!

Good Morning Mighty Family

Giggles in Nappies this morning's

How cute is that pic
How full is that drawer of nappies !!!!!

I wish it was that easy to decide what to wear 😆😅

Have a great day everyone
Love n hugs Tj ❤😘🤗😁🤞 #giggleswithafriend #Love #Hugs #Bekind #Nappies #babies #Whattowesr #RareDisease #Fun #morning