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Every Despondent Day

Today is one of those days. You know the kind. The kind where no matter what people say, look, do cheering up is just not happening. Short of someone telling me, I won the lottery. My total take home amount after taxes is 1 billion dollars, yeah, cheering up is not in the cards. I am not sure how many others are out there who have these days. These days you feel trapped. Since my divorce, I have no car, and no official income. I live with my retired parents and unemployed brother.(I am not sure why he doesn't even try to get a job but I am sure something is wrong with his spirit. He has mental issues of his own too. So, I try to cut him some slack.) I've been applying for menial jobs just to have some stream of income, with absolutely no success. Sure, I am halfway through a data analytics course. I have been working on this for 3 months. However, that brings in no income. On days like this I feel like I have climbed halfway up the depression hole, only to discover I am still at the bottom. All of the climbing you did yesterday was around the hole, not upwards. Also, by the way, the hole gets deeper every day. On days like this, my 100 square foot room feels like a glorified prison. I know I need to cry. I know I feel like this because I am exhausted and weary of the daily wear and tear life puts on us but there is no way to activate the catharsis because I officially have no one who "gets it". I have no one who gets me. I just want someone to give me a call, tell me, "Let's go have some fun. Don't worry I will pay." I want to get you out of the house. I want to get you away from the oppressive life you live with older Christian puritanical judgmental parents and family on watch, an annoying brother who will not get off the couch and bleeding clipped wings that long to escape this mind and body. Yeah, it's one of those days you have to wait it out.

#Depression #depressed #lonely #hopeless #MentalHealth #exhausted #weary #stuck #prison #catharsis #Isolation #Judgement #Escape #Needabreak #Fun #betterdays #Divorced #single #unemployed #noincome #livingwithparents #careerchange #financialstress#waitingforbetterdays

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Casualties of Chronic Illness

Of course there are many things that chronic illness robs us of, but for me dignity is right up there—along with the toll it has taken on my indoor plants 🪴

#DistractMe #MakeMeLaugh #ChronicFatigue #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Fibromyalgia #greenfriends #MyCondition #Meme #Fun

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Petflix: Bellywood Star Edition

Last night I remarked to the other half about how funny it would be to reimagine movies but with pets cast in the leading roles instead. The Duke, we decided would definitely be frenetically jumping up and down borking “show me the foods!” So I’ll dig in and start him with first, before offering up some of my other ‘pawsome' reimaginings.

First up: “Jerry Macanine", where instead of Tom Cruise, we have a pug mix loudly borking the unforgettable line, "Show me the foods!" Our pooch protagonist is a sports agent who struggles to keep his clients satisfied with squeaky toys and belly rubs. Instead of navigating the world of professional sports, he has to make his way through the competitive landscape of dog shows. Due to his demanding career, he doesn’t have much time for a special someone. But he is all like “you had me at hello” every time one of his Jeeveses opens the treat cupboard door 😍

Now, let’s gnaw on a classic: "Jurassic Bark". In this version, eccentric billionaire John Hammond opens an amusement park featuring gigantic cats and dogs. There’s the larger than life T-Rexton, a colossal golden retriever, shaking the earth with every step, and the Velocir-felines, a terrifying pack of oversized rag tag cats, chasing our protagonists around the park. The iconic line "Life finds a way" transforms into "Fluff finds a way" as our oversized pets manage to unlock their cages and face lick everyone into oblivion… except for that one awkward moment when the Pugtato-saurus steps out of the river from a refreshing swim, only to cause an unexpected smelly downpour of wet dog raining down on us all as he tries to shake himself dry!

Next up, “Harry Pawter and the Sorcerer's Bone" reimagined in the style of Tim Burton. The world of witchcraft and wizardry gets a serious furball makeover. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all different breeds of dogs attending 'Hogwarts School of Biscuitry and Fetchcraft.' The Houses? Gryffindog, Hufflepurr, Ravenclaw (featuring actual ravens), and Slinktherin (for all the mischievous ferrets and reptiles out there). The climax scene, in this case, involves Harry retrieving the Sorcerer's Bone—an ancient and magical chew toy—from the wicked Professor Quirrell and his hairless Sphynx cat, Voldemort.

Let's not forget the old Bellywood classic "Pawsablanca", but instead of Humphrey Bogart, we have a gruff bulldog named Bogie running the show. And the iconic line, "Here's looking at you, kid," becomes, "Here's sniffing at you, kid." Ingrid Bergman's character is played by a graceful Siamese cat, and the emotional drama unfolds as they negotiate the tumultuous world of a kennel during war time and a disconcerting kibble shortage.

Lastly, the beloved British romcom classic gets a delightful canine spin in "Bridget Bones". But instead of Renée Zellweger, we have an endearing and slightly clumsy Basset Hound named Bridget. Bridget Bones is the quintessential 'good girl,' always obedient but a bit of a klutz, often tripping over her own ears. Instead of keeping a diary to document her love life and weight woes, she chews on different bones to reflect her moods—rawhide for the good days, and squeaky plastic for the bad.

The dashing Mark Darcy, is now Mark 'Barky,' an impeccably groomed Afghan Hound with a slightly aloof demeanour. By contrast, Daniel Cleaver is a cheeky Jack Russell Terrier, always ready to stir up mischief and steal Bridget's favourite bones. The infamous "I like you very much, just as you are" scene is now "I like you very much, just as you chew." And the hilariously awkward fight between Mark and Daniel, is turned into a comical scuffle over a particularly coveted squeaky toy.

Bridget Bones’s clumsy charm, tail wagging optimism, and endearing howls at the moon when things go wrong will surely steal your heart. And remember, it doesn't matter how many times Bridget trips over her ears, she always gets back up—that's what makes her the perfect doggy heroine ❤️

Sure, the scripts may need a few rewrites, and there'd be an awful lot of snacks involved in filming, but who could resist those Oscar worthy puppy eyes, or the Award winning cat song “My Meow Will Go On”? One thing's fur sure… the red carpet at the Petcademy Awards would breathe new life into the ageing ceremony. Of course there would be the usual bitchy gossip, but now with added high octane cat fights, and lots of pupparazzi trying to catch photographs of our stars, and the art of grooming would be taken to a whole new level!

#DistractMe #Cats #MightyPets #Dogs #Fun #Laugh #ForTheLoveOfDogs #MyCondition #ChronicFatigue #Fibromyalgia #CheerMeOn

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Fursday You Say?

The Duke, also known as Side Eye Susan, sitting on his plush woolly bed giving me one of his classic “not this sh*t again Jeeves!” looks, mixed with soupçon of “I’m so cute, why wouldn’t you want to give me all the things?” 🥺

I always say he is 100% bichon fluff, and ruff-ly 200% pug attitude. It’s true what some say—pugs really do think they are better than us 👑

Except for dinner time when I’m granted a temporary pardon.

Unfortunately for me there’s also after dinner time, when he turns into a hobbit and looks at me like “but what about second dinner Jeeves?” After about 20 minutes of grumbles, the pug divatude emerges and he morphs into Marie Antoinette with demands of “let me eat bone cake!” (I suspect there might be some mutterings of “off with heads”, so I consider myself lucky that he doesn’t have opposable thumbs!)

As you can no doubt tell from all this, it is very hard work being the Duke and having to tolerate us insubordinate Jeeveses, which is why he requires all the snoozes. He manages to get own back though by kicking the ground into my face after he’s pooped like “here’s mud in your eye, Jeeves!” 😆

#MightyPets #Dogs #DistractMe #Fun #ThriverThursday #itsapugthing

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The Tale of How The Duke Begot His Regal Title

It was a foggy morning in the wold, when I his human, yet to become known as Jeeves, Scamp, and Little Brofur set out on a quest abreast our noble steed Tucson.

We headed west along the old Roman Road colloquially known as the 419. The journey was wrought with many a peril, but Tucson that mighty diesel chugging beast battled dutifully against these omnipresent foes known as boy racers and Sunday drivers to carry us safely to our destination: Demi Eden. Fertile land where deer, pheasant, and rabbits roam freely alongside an enchanted brook.

But first we had to pass through the mighty turnstile gates. Valiant Little Brofur passed through the narrow gap between the gates of Doom in the blink of an eye. Scamp however, baring some resemblance around the middle to his fellow nobleman Henry VIII, almost got ensnared between the giant metal teeth. But he reached within and with a twist of the torso and a thrust of his mighty paws, he did it—he was free. To celebrate his victory he lifted his leg against the post so that any other dog who dared to travel this way henceforth would know of his triumph.

Next was the most perilous part of our quest. We would have to cross over the mighty rapids of The Lock. The water gurgled and roared as if powered by some dark beast within. Fortunately the gods had seen fit to build a bridge for one to cross over. And yet it is well known that when you have four paws, the five yard journey can be a frightening one, fraught with many a peril. Being light of paw, Little Brofur did a running vault and made it to the other side in three alacritous jumps. Not one to be outdone Scamp followed suit, albeit with slightly less aplomb. Though he was not light of paw, what he lacked in agility he made up for in courage, and so he boldly took the lead up the next crossing. The boardwalk across the marshland that separated our trio from the safety of our trusty steed Tucson who was bedded down next to the road, and our final hurdle: The Brook of Styx… otherwise known as The Ampney Brook.

Scamp scamped along the boardwalk taking care to avoid any gaps that might ensnare a paw that could see him dragged down into the jaws of Boggon: the bog monster that was well known to dwell within the muddy waters beneath, quietly laying in wait for fresh prey. “Not today Boggon!” Scamp followed closely by brave Little Brofur cried as they both boldly scamped across to safety on the other side.

Next up we had to traverse the muddy path toward the Brook, taking care to avoid the engorged roots of the trees that lined the path in yet another test of the courage that lay within each of our hearts. After lifting their legs on the sidings to signal to other dogs that they had once again prevailed, Scamp, Little Brofur, and I arrived alongside the mighty Ampney Brook.

There in the middle lay a great rock as the fast running water of the Brook sluiced by on other side. It was clear, to reach the other side, we would have to walk through the water. Little Brofur being undertall, jumped at the side of my leg to indicate he would need my help ferrying him across. Scamp sniffed at the water’s edge to ensure there were no tricksy water sprites lurking within. Satisfied that all was safe, he strode into the water and carefully began to walk towards the middle. With great courage and stout paws he made it to the great rock. He stood atop the great rock in triumph, and that is when it happened!

The Lady of the Brook emerged from the deep and presented him with Excalibone; anointing him so that he should henceforth go from that place and be known to all as The Duke of Bork. He turned toward me and decided that as his first royal decree henceforth I would be known as Jeeves, his loyal servant. He gave a snort in Little Brofur’s direction to let him know that he would be known to all as Sir Little Spare. Jeeves obligingly captured the moment for posterity so that they could leave this place and spread the word so that many would know about this day, and The Duke’s triumphant feat.

The Duke and Sir Little Spare continue to wander the realm of the wolds, at times lifting their legs in unison to ensure that both their legacies will evermore be preserved. As for me… I not certain about the Lady in the Brook, or Excalibone, which bore a striking resemblance to the remnants of a fox’s meal. But then again, who I am to challenge how my dog self identifies?

#MightyPets #DistractMe #Fun #Dogs #MightyMoment

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Snap, Crackle, Pop!

Though my health has incrementally improvements these past few months, I still remain for the better of each day, bedbound.

This week has been my first lo-fi birthday since my health worsened where “living large” consisted of a walk with the dogs, followed by microwave mug cake and a movie with my better half. It was everything I could have wanted from the day, and I decided to spoil myself today with a posy of daffodils to look at for the hours I’m confined to bed.

I am always strangely fascinated by the odd minutiae we take for granted when we are so occupied with the hastened pace of life that we accept as societal norms. Like that if we aren’t busy, then we seemingly aren’t living our best life all the time, except for ‘self care’ which is often equally demanding of our time and energy.

The influencer crowd have done a great job of appropriating the concept, with many ways to hawk ‘self care’ products to us where they wax lyrical about the benefits of quartz facial rollers and the like—which in my experience, get used (mostly in false hope) for a few months, then it becomes forgotten and relegated to the back of our drawers. But fear not—for there is another influencer waiting in the wings to energetically urge you to overhaul your living space and spend time removing all the items from our homes that no longer spark joy!

If for no other reason; being hospitalised and so poisoned by my thyroid medication I could barely achieve the walks to the loo, makes me happy to have been forcibly removed from the zeitgeist hamster wheel of consumption where you get to spend a lot of time and effort doing things that don’t actually matter to you, and now focusing only on the things that matter most to me from now on.

And today I have discovered a simple joy that escaped my notice throughout all the springs past where I’ve purchased cheerful little daffodils. Today as I sat in my room I have witnessed several snaps, crackles and pops as they began to unravel in the water and bust open their tight little petals like they’re teasing me with their blooming arrival 🥰

I hate many thing about being sick, but finally starting to see life from a renewed perspective and a greater appreciation of the littlest of things, is something that I could never regret 🌼

What things have you begun to notice that escaped your attention before?

#DistractMe #MyCondition #Thoughts #Flowers #justforfun #Fun #ChronicFatigue #bedbound #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #InvisibleIllness #DisabilityTalk

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A Furry Good Tuesday

This little guy is pure sunshine ☀️. He loves his snow boots that enable him to hurtle throw the snow, and have himself a good old fashioned romp. I can always rely on him to give me a good photo op—unlike the Duke of Bork in the background there—who favours showing me his derrière whenever he sees me getting ready to take a photo 😆

Sending a little light your way,
Taryn x

#Dogs #MightyPets #MightyMoment #DistractMe #Fun

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