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    Ableism within the autism community

    Don't take out your frustrations on your child's disability. I wouldn't get rid of my autism if I had the chance to #Ableism #Autism #ParentsOfChildrenWithSpecialNeeds #Parents #InternalizedAbleism #AutismAcceptance #actuallyautistic


    Pandemic Spring Break PTSD: Teachers & Students...and others

    If this sounds jumbled, it's because it's still jumbled in my mind, but I still wanted to reach some people......Please bear with me.

    This post is for all the teachers who have taught during the pandemic…

    You might not know it, but you may struggle with PTSD & triggers related to your job….this includes the ones who are still currently teaching.

    To the 2019-2020 teachers……are you suddenly feeling very anxious & emotional and you don’t know why?

    How about your students (more than “normal” spring break behavior & acting out...which was never actually "normal," but alarming to begin with)?

    It could be that spring break is a trauma anniversary for you, as well as for your students…(and other human beings). Spring break is the time where we lost contact with our students due to covid shutdowns. Sure, we may have been there online with them, but that wasn’t normal/the same….to them or to us.

    Some of us are overfunctioners during chaos…while others are underfunctioners. I was definitely an underfunctioner….and being the team leader, I was very grateful to my grade level team for stepping in and doing the necessary work for virtual learning.

    In addition to work, I was dealing with other traumas going on at the same time and I struggled to function at all….it was all too much for me and I felt like I was drowning…..not only for myself, but for my students…I knew they needed so much…way more than I had to give, or for that matter, they needed way more than anyone could give. I was not the teacher that I wanted to be….and I battle with that a lot. However, I am learning to forgive myself…..I know I was doing the best I could do at the time.

    At home, I was stuck in an abusive relationship that affected my whole psyche….and I know that I wasn’t the only one…..domestic violence rates have been higher than ever than before during this pandemic (my state of Oklahoma being #1 ).

    Did you know that domestic abuse affects children as well? I began to see the trauma-responses play out upon our physical return to school in August 2020…..which made me see my childhood trauma through them. To put this into actual words is hard because it is so complex. But I also felt that no one else could see what I saw as a teacher (even other teachers/faculty)….I was hypervigilant & felt alone in my thoughts & worries….I stayed to myself as much as I could at work & in my personal life. It was rough.

    Summer 2021, I was actually diagnosed with PTSD (which is actually CPTSD)----this was both a relief, a shock, & a grieving process. Not only that, but I began to see how the actual PTSD was playing out in my life….and how hard it is to “get back to normal.” I also saw it in my past.

    With March around the corner, I am finding myself in this same internal panic and shame. I am no longer a teacher, but that doesn’t make it go away. I have learned that trauma anniversaries are very real, even if you try to avoid thinking about them. Your body always remembers them… it sensory triggers: the feel of the weather, the blossoms on a tree, the smell of spring weather, etc, physical reminder triggers: the world declaring the covid anniversary, picture memories that pop up on your phone via iphone, social media, timehop, etc….or internal triggers.

    There’s this big misconception that flashbacks always have a visual component. Many times they don’t….many times it’s a feeling, a sensation, a sense of panic or urgency.

    I write this so that if any of you teachers out there (past & present), are struggling right now, know that you are not alone.

    Our students are still struggling as well. In fact, the CDC confirms this…..although most teachers knew this already since we’ve witnessed it in the classroom. Children are struggling with anxiety, depression, suicide, self-harm, substance abuse, avoidance, distraction, procrastination in higher rates than ever. I do not know the answer to these issues, but I know the first step is acknowledging that there is a problem. I believe we have a growing amount of students, teachers, parents, adults with PTSD…..but the world simply doesn’t understand the signs of & complexities of PTSD. The world needs education on PTSD now more than ever….and I hope they can see this sooner rather than later.

    This post can apply to any other person regarding Pandemic-related PTSD….not just teachers & students. Know that if you are suddenly feeling on edge this month of March, you are not alone….March is a triggering month, a trauma anniversary for many people. Please know that you are not alone.

    #PTSD #CPTSD #pandemic #Springbreak #COVID19 #mentalhealthepidemic #astrugglinggeneration #ptsdeducation #triggers #March #march2020 #DomesticAbuse #Students #Teachers #Parents #Poverty

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    "Speak to us of Children"

    I've just started reading Gibran's "The Prophet" and it surely is insightful.
    I am lifted.
    #Children #Parents #Parenthood #gibran #Books #Literature #theprophet

    5 reactions 2 comments
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    This is a rough season

    This is my first Christmas without my Mom. I miss her so much; but my mind is free to remember all the happiness and fun she and my Dad gave our whole family at Christmastime.

    I’m so lucky to have good memories!
    #Christmas #Memories #Parents

    6 reactions

    Just a funny thought…

    Children are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit weird. #Humor #Truth , no truer words at the moment..😆#sunday #Parents #Children Family is messy..

    1 comment

    Unwanted #Family Contact

    I have been avoiding contact with nearly all family members for the past couple years in order to better cope with my mental health challenges.

    I got an email from my mom a few days ago saying she and dad would be in town today and would like to "repair our relationship". So that email had me feeling suffocated and trapped and even a bit angry. It got me planning out how to pretend no one was home in my apartment so that if they stopped by without notice, they would accept that I wasn't here and just leave.

    So, yesterday, I decided that I would try being brave and open my blinds (which I rarely do in general) since my parents wouldn't be in town yet. About an hour after this decision, I had a knock on my door. I thought it was my landlord, so I did open the door. Instead, it was my mom's cousin. She is around 70 years of age and her mother just passed away in the spring (I have previously written about that funeral). She was standing at my door holding a huge bouquet of flowers and a white bag. Note that I have never given her my address (on purpose), so she has to have gotten my address from my mom.

    Anyway, so she gives me the bouquet and the bag of veggies from her garden and asks several times if I'm ok. Then she invited me on a walk in a nearby park, but I declined because I was in my pajamas (and because I absolutely did not want to go). So then she offered to wait while I got changed. I declined again, and then she asked me to drop by and visit her any time.

    As soon as she left, I viciously shut my blinds and felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt sick to my stomach and my mind started racing with the likely fall-out of this visit, especially how it would likely embolden my parents to force their way into my life. Now it's a day later and I'm dealing with acid reflux due to the anxiety.

    Is it so much to ask for my wishes to be respected? Situations like this make my fantasy of running away and changing my name feel more and more like a good option.

    #Family #Relationships #Parents #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Respect #Trauma #home

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    Beautiful Children

    Does anyone else, who finds it difficult to make memories 'the traditional way' with their children (eg too unwell to run around with, go on holidays or go on days out) find it really upsetting to watch them grow up?
    when you haven't been able to make the same memories as everybody else?

    Or feel like you have been robbed of being a traditional parent, and being able to enjoy their preschool years at home together, because as you were too ill to fully embrace this special time?

    My youngest has just started school properly after reception (kindergarten) and the past 3 years I've not been able to make memories with him in the way that I did with my elder son (12) before i fell ill 3 years ago.

    He was my little man and we did everything together.

    Now I realise 3 years has been lost and wasted to bedbound illness and suddenly my baby is no longer a baby like before, he is almost 6. Though we cuddle and play quietly often, I feel heartbroken and sad ill never be able to 'redo' those special times.

    Can anyone relate? As im struggling to move on from this

    Any advice very much appreciated, love Grace

    #Children #Family #Love #Memories #sad #mummy #ChronicIllness #CFS #ME #UCTD #longcovid #Parents


    An Unlikely Solution To Get Disabled Actors Into Big Roles In Hollywood

    Once again I heard people complaining about directors casting non-disabled people as disabled people in the comments section of movie trailers. Another solution to the problem that I haven't talked about before is "nepotism babies". Even though some could argue that they are what causes the problem, they are paradoxically the solution.
    Let me explain.
    Each celebrity has a disabled family member, whether it be a child, cousin, aunt, or stepbrother. These celebrities have the resources for their disabled family members to get in front of casting directors and bypass some of the beginner steps so they can move on to speaking roles in Hollywood movies. When put to use, that could catapult a disabled person into the spotlight.
    One good example of a celebrity letting their disabled children follow into the spotlight is the Swedish performer Malena Ernman. Her most famous daughter is Greta Thunberg and her youngest daughter is Beata. Like Greta, Beata also has some invisible disabilities and is a professional performer.
    While I believe parents should have the final say about when a child is old enough to enter show business, I also believe that if someone is too young to have a public instagram account, they are too young to be in the spotlight.
    In all, I believe the parents of disabled people shouldn't have the attitude of, "My family member is too fragile to be on a set," and at the same time allow their able bodied children be on set. #Disabled #Employment #Paradox #ActorsWithDisabilities #Parents #Support

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    The #Depression is Crawling In

    I am sure I am becoming depressed. #Pray for me because this is going to be rough. My doctor did warn me that depression could run around sometimes during these months. It seemed to be that the short period of time in which I was really at a solid, even happy was just that : short. I am going to just wing it and see where it takes me. So glad I quit smoking because no matter what they say on this subject smoking totally made me moody (I know because I tried quitting about three other times for extended periods of time). Nicotine totally put me in moods and I am glad to be rid of it. (about Dec 8, 2021 clear of nicotine). #smokingcessation My parents are going to have to look after me. But you know what? it doesn't seem so bad....I just have to know not to listen to those songs that creep in and get you fu**ed up and in a mooooooooooodddddd. I know one for myself and I ain't sharing it because it is soooo disturbing to me and I do not want to hurt other people by sharing it. #Music I believe that I can overcome this based on the evaluation of other times #BipolarDepression came upon me to cease me. I do believe I am able to do this. I can totally do life with this Depression. I know it doesn't even at all depend on the optimism I can feel at this moment when it is not exactly going on or from study habits of what it's like for me when I look at it and wonder about if there are things that make me cry or upset or emotional. Maybe it's conquerable because I do know myself pretty good and can totally say I can stay away from this and that as all the details go that seem to have me in tears. But anyway I am sure I have one thing right in my life and it's living with my parents. I may totally depend on them but I'd be hitting rock bottom without my Mom and Dad. #Parents

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    Father’s Day - An Open Letter To An Absent Father

    Read My Letter ➡️

    #FathersDay #neglect #absentfather #MentalHealth #Parents #Addiction #Trauma #Youdonthavetocelebratefathersday #Healing #Anxiety #Breathe #Awareness