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    Just a funny thought…

    Children are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit weird. #Humor #Truth , no truer words at the moment..😆#sunday #Parents #Children Family is messy..


    Unwanted #Family Contact

    I have been avoiding contact with nearly all family members for the past couple years in order to better cope with my mental health challenges.

    I got an email from my mom a few days ago saying she and dad would be in town today and would like to "repair our relationship". So that email had me feeling suffocated and trapped and even a bit angry. It got me planning out how to pretend no one was home in my apartment so that if they stopped by without notice, they would accept that I wasn't here and just leave.

    So, yesterday, I decided that I would try being brave and open my blinds (which I rarely do in general) since my parents wouldn't be in town yet. About an hour after this decision, I had a knock on my door. I thought it was my landlord, so I did open the door. Instead, it was my mom's cousin. She is around 70 years of age and her mother just passed away in the spring (I have previously written about that funeral). She was standing at my door holding a huge bouquet of flowers and a white bag. Note that I have never given her my address (on purpose), so she has to have gotten my address from my mom.

    Anyway, so she gives me the bouquet and the bag of veggies from her garden and asks several times if I'm ok. Then she invited me on a walk in a nearby park, but I declined because I was in my pajamas (and because I absolutely did not want to go). So then she offered to wait while I got changed. I declined again, and then she asked me to drop by and visit her any time.

    As soon as she left, I viciously shut my blinds and felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt sick to my stomach and my mind started racing with the likely fall-out of this visit, especially how it would likely embolden my parents to force their way into my life. Now it's a day later and I'm dealing with acid reflux due to the anxiety.

    Is it so much to ask for my wishes to be respected? Situations like this make my fantasy of running away and changing my name feel more and more like a good option.

    #Family #Relationships #Parents #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Respect #Trauma #home

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    Beautiful Children

    Does anyone else, who finds it difficult to make memories 'the traditional way' with their children (eg too unwell to run around with, go on holidays or go on days out) find it really upsetting to watch them grow up?
    when you haven't been able to make the same memories as everybody else?

    Or feel like you have been robbed of being a traditional parent, and being able to enjoy their preschool years at home together, because as you were too ill to fully embrace this special time?

    My youngest has just started school properly after reception (kindergarten) and the past 3 years I've not been able to make memories with him in the way that I did with my elder son (12) before i fell ill 3 years ago.

    He was my little man and we did everything together.

    Now I realise 3 years has been lost and wasted to bedbound illness and suddenly my baby is no longer a baby like before, he is almost 6. Though we cuddle and play quietly often, I feel heartbroken and sad ill never be able to 'redo' those special times.

    Can anyone relate? As im struggling to move on from this

    Any advice very much appreciated, love Grace

    #Children #Family #Love #Memories #sad #mummy #ChronicIllness #CFS #ME #UCTD #longcovid #Parents


    An Unlikely Solution To Get Disabled Actors Into Big Roles In Hollywood

    Once again I heard people complaining about directors casting non-disabled people as disabled people in the comments section of movie trailers. Another solution to the problem that I haven't talked about before is "nepotism babies". Even though some could argue that they are what causes the problem, they are paradoxically the solution.
    Let me explain.
    Each celebrity has a disabled family member, whether it be a child, cousin, aunt, or stepbrother. These celebrities have the resources for their disabled family members to get in front of casting directors and bypass some of the beginner steps so they can move on to speaking roles in Hollywood movies. When put to use, that could catapult a disabled person into the spotlight.
    One good example of a celebrity letting their disabled children follow into the spotlight is the Swedish performer Malena Ernman. Her most famous daughter is Greta Thunberg and her youngest daughter is Beata. Like Greta, Beata also has some invisible disabilities and is a professional performer.
    While I believe parents should have the final say about when a child is old enough to enter show business, I also believe that if someone is too young to have a public instagram account, they are too young to be in the spotlight.
    In all, I believe the parents of disabled people shouldn't have the attitude of, "My family member is too fragile to be on a set," and at the same time allow their able bodied children be on set. #Disabled #Employment #Paradox #ActorsWithDisabilities #Parents #Support

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    The #Depression is Crawling In

    I am sure I am becoming depressed. #Pray for me because this is going to be rough. My doctor did warn me that depression could run around sometimes during these months. It seemed to be that the short period of time in which I was really at a solid, even happy was just that : short. I am going to just wing it and see where it takes me. So glad I quit smoking because no matter what they say on this subject smoking totally made me moody (I know because I tried quitting about three other times for extended periods of time). Nicotine totally put me in moods and I am glad to be rid of it. (about Dec 8, 2021 clear of nicotine). #smokingcessation My parents are going to have to look after me. But you know what? it doesn't seem so bad....I just have to know not to listen to those songs that creep in and get you fu**ed up and in a mooooooooooodddddd. I know one for myself and I ain't sharing it because it is soooo disturbing to me and I do not want to hurt other people by sharing it. #Music I believe that I can overcome this based on the evaluation of other times #BipolarDepression came upon me to cease me. I do believe I am able to do this. I can totally do life with this Depression. I know it doesn't even at all depend on the optimism I can feel at this moment when it is not exactly going on or from study habits of what it's like for me when I look at it and wonder about if there are things that make me cry or upset or emotional. Maybe it's conquerable because I do know myself pretty good and can totally say I can stay away from this and that as all the details go that seem to have me in tears. But anyway I am sure I have one thing right in my life and it's living with my parents. I may totally depend on them but I'd be hitting rock bottom without my Mom and Dad. #Parents

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    Father’s Day - An Open Letter To An Absent Father

    Read My Letter ➡️

    #FathersDay #neglect #absentfather #MentalHealth #Parents #Addiction #Trauma #Youdonthavetocelebratefathersday #Healing #Anxiety #Breathe #Awareness

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    What causes negative self talk?

    How our #Parents made us feel is how we #Selftalk to ourselves in our own head. We need to learn #Selflove #Selfcare #Selfcare and not listen to the voices we've been programmed with by people who didn't know better. ❤


    Late diagnosis - where were my parents?

    Traumatic childhoods are always difficult to deal with. After years of therapy finally someone diagnosed me with autism and adhd. Without going into too much of my symptoms, I keep wondering if my family had treated me better, they would have spared me some trauma? if they knew that I wasn’t a ‘bad’ child but my brain worked just differently. I keep wondering if I there was a way to not go though pain since 40 years. What if my parents just paid a little bit of attention and I got a diagnosis. Would I be contempt now? Is forgiveness possible? #ADHD #Autism #neurodivergent #Misophonia #Depression #Anxiety #forgive #Parents

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    In Defense Of The Indigo Phenomenon (and what it represents) #Neurodiversity #ADHD #Autism #neurodivergence #Parents

    In middle school (about 2005) I came across the concept of “indigo children”. It was used to describe spiritual children who didn’t respond well to ADHD medication. In a documentary titled The Indigo Evolution, the adult interviewees talk about how having an overactive brain can give off the illusion of neurodivergence. One of the solutions suggested in the documentary is to teach children meditation, yoga, and healthy outlets such as art as a way of releasing energy instead of giving ADHD meds as an attempt to get children to conform to traditional models of success.

    As I have grown into an adult and see those who are younger than me struggle, one thought that has popped up in my head is, “Are ADHD meds taking the place of emotionally unavailable parents?”. While I never grew up around workaholic parents, I wonder if parents were emotionally available (instead of working until 8:00 pm), would the child still be acting out. Another thought I have is, “Is ADHD just a code word for "I don't know how to deal with boredom." If you put a person who was born after 2000 and take away their phone, iPad, and any type of homework, they would probably not know what to do with themselves. Back 100 years ago there was no Ritalin and people were able to navigate the world and find jobs with the right resources. While I don’t believe all neurodivergent people have indigo auras, when you take into account that phrases like “crystal children” are being thrown into the mix, it has become a catch all term (crossing over into the “tortured artist” archetype) for neurodivergent individuals instead of an aura phenomenon

    Large proponents against the "indigo children" phenomenon don't understand the "psychic" traits on the checklist are based in psychological hacks (such as the red hammer trick)--just as Sherlock Holmes "read the room" to retrieve information and commonly understood that past behavioral patterns could be predictive of the future. Other factors such as having a photographic memory can lead individuals to catch things that their friends can't.

    ***I do not believe in self-proclaimed psychics correctly predicting random future events, so I think their success lies in the fact that some people are going to psychics for a sense of peace and closure, and that at times is what is more important to the client when they have unresolved questions or are unwilling to accept that a case about a loved one has grown cold.


    Recurring Dream

    I just woke up from another dream with a very similar theme to what I've been experiencing the six months or so. The common theme is my parents (and occasionally my sister) invading my privacy. Typically, the situations have involved taking a shower, using the toilet, or getting situations where I might be naked or revealing private areas of my body. Sometimes in the dream, I find myself shouting or even screaming at them to get out, to go away, to let me do the activity in peace. But they don't even react and just double down on being there sometimes referring to their "right" to be there.
    I'm a little afraid to explore what my dreams might be telling me, and I don't know where to start. For context, I haven't really been in contact with my parents for 1.5 years. I briefly saw them about 8 months ago. Would it benefit me in any way to dig into these dreams, or should I just let them be?

    #dreams #dreaminterpretation #dreamanalysis #Childhood #Family #Parents #Privacy #Abuse #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma