bpdaintforme

Here I am yet again... another sleepless night cause my head is like a race track that's currently open for laps. This makes it night 2 without any sleep whatsoever. I am having all kinds of mixed thoughts cause my lovely wife, who took it upon herself to start a whole bunch of shit with me before she went to sleep as per usual, and btw thinks this is perfectly OK and yet just one of the small reasons she is one of my biggest triggers...will soon be waking and it will begin all over again... WHAT JOY FOR ME, IT'S THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING! On top of that her mother lives with us and she bitches 10x the amount my wife does...I've been with my wife for almost 11yrs, but I'm about to the point that I'm starting to physically worry about my own wellbeing... but yet she accuses me of not trying to not make this marriage work. I go to counciling... she doesn't... and she's not supportive or compassionate in the least bit. She constantly tries to use my borderline against me too...I'll admit sometimes it might be me, but a majority of it is her just acting like an ass! Like how dare she use my illness against me!! That is a totally dirty and grimmy!!! She is a control freak and has huge and I mean HUGE double standards for everything! I honestly think I am slowly losing my mind! I really feel that is her goal! I'm gonna have to walk away soon or something bad is bound to happen! #Anothersleeplessnight #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #bpdnightmare #Bpdisexhausting #BPDStigma #bpdaintforme # insomnia #ToxicMarriage #mentalabuse #verbalabuse #fedup #sickandtired #AbusiveRelationship #shitstorm

Hey everyone,
So I’m new here to the Mighty- my name is Adri, I’m a singer-songwriter/musician from NY and in a band called Adri & Oli. Born and raised in a family of five, which is ironic because that’s how many times I’ve been hospitalized in the past year.

I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 16 years young... and might I say that was a game changer for REAL!
At 18 I left college not knowing what the heck I was meant to do.. all I wanted to do was sing and write songs, but life sort of pushed me around. I went from one job to the next, and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital!!! And at that same time frame, I was invited to the UN, played at the Save the Music Afterparty, played for the mayor of NJ and played at the 9/11 Memorial Benefit Dinner at the Cipriani theater alongside American Idol’s Justin Guarini!

I later learned that having this disorder does not determine my future. My friend Oli, the one I play in a band with- had stage 4 breast cancer... and survived!!

From her exact words- “ no matter how much the doctors told me I had cancer, I told them I didn’t. The reason why I am here today is because I firmly believed that I didn’t have cancer. The doctors don’t determine your destiny”

And that’s why I say... BPD AINT FOR ME! ##bpdaintforme #BPD #Anxiety #Depression ##thisismenotgivingup

Stuck inside once more...

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