toxic marriage

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    Staying positive in bad times

    How do you stay positive when there is souch negativity around you. When you see your marraige falling apart over something as trivial as an insecure mother in-law? How can something so petty have so much power.

    It defies all logic.

    I don't want to be sad. I don't want to dwell on negative thoughts. I want to be able to ignore shitty people and live my life as best as I can. I want to do what makes me happy. I don't want to waste my time being sad over my ungrateful husband. Its been over a month and he is adamant on his cold behavior towards me.

    I'm trying to stay positive.

    Any advice on how to be happier?

    #Anxiety #ToxicMarriage #Narcissiticabuse

    3 reactions 1 comment
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    Should "mama's boys" get married?

    Its ridiculous how my husband's mother competes with me for his time and attention. Like seriously???!!!

    And the funny part is that my husband sees nothing wrong with that!!!

    How can a woman feel insecure because of her daughter in law? Isn't it unfair to the wife if her husband's mother keeps creating unnecessary drama in their life because of how petty she is?

    Its so freaking hard for me to process this. Its just beyond me. Its beyond ridiculous.

    My advice to anyone reading this is to NEVER marry a mama's boy. They'll make your marriage a joke.

    What are your thoughts on this?

    #ToxicMarriage #Anxiety #indiansocietyissofuckedup #mamasboy

    11 reactions 11 comments
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    Is my husband toxic?

    I used to stay with my husband at his parents' house. Since the very first day of our marriage his mother started interfering in our life. From knocking at our door at 8 in the morning to wake me up to giving us instructions on how to "behave" as a "decent couple" in front of others to putting restrictions on where we went and by what time we returned, she controlled every aspect of our marriage. As a new bride I put up with her shit for 2 months but later I started getting uncomfortable in the relationship. I started feeling like a puppet.

    When I told my husband about this, he completely dismissed me saying that that's how his mother is and there's nothing wrong with that. We had several fights over his mother's controlling behavior as he repeatedly refused to understand my perspective or do anything about it. It got to a point where I started losing feelings for him. Everything felt forced. I told him that it feels like we've lost the spark which pissed him off and he blamed me for it.

    He never took responsibility for his lack of action, he never tried to acknowledge let alone fix what was wrong, he ignored all my attempts to explain how I was feeling, he entirely dismissed my feelings, and when things got out of hand he blamed me for everything.

    That was not it, despite me begging him to not involve his parents in our issues (as it would make things worse), he went and did exactly that. He said every little thing about me to his mother. He disclosed my deepest secrets to them. After which his toxic family went around bad mouthing me to my relatives. They came over to my house and insulted me in front of everyone.

    I was traumatized after all this. I wanted to end things with him. But my family told me to not make any hasty decisions. So I decided to give my marraige another chance. I did my best to forget everything and start over with him, I made several attempts to fix things, but it did not move him a bit. He still blames me for everything. Whenever I try to be affectionate he dismisses me as if I never did any good to him. Its been a month and his behavior towards me is still cold.

    I've been reading about narcissists, and I'm pretty sure his parents are narcissists. I'm not sure if his behaviour makes him a narcissist too but every time he gives me a cold shoulder, I think he could be one.

    How long should I keep putting up with cold behavior and lack of remorse? Is it healthy to continue being in such a marriage?

    #Anxiety #Marriage #Relationships #ToxicMarriage

    12 reactions 7 comments
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    Is it Dissociation? #MentalHealth #DissociationDisorders #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #Marriage #ToxicMarriage

    My partner and I have been married for nearly two years. Have been together for longer than that. Any time I try to “fix” what I think is wrong, I always end up the bad guy. We had someone sit in for our family meeting to see if there were any things that needed mediation in case our communication was off or toxic. Turns out, I don’t understand a thing my partner is saying to me and I make the conversation go in circles. By the third explanation through, my brain shuts off but I still contribute to the conversation. I will only cry and “shut down” when certain words or situations are brought up that I don’t understand. Is this dissociation? Or Do I just not understand what is being asked of me? Normal and reasonable are words used quite often to describe the things needed of me, but I don’t understand the definitions of those in terms of relationships. I am told that I am adult who needs to come to my own conclusions and that I shouldn’t have to be coddled like a child. I don’t think I need to be, but I do need clarification. But once we get there, it’s like my words are no longer my own and I have ZERO control of what I say or do. It’s like I’m on Autopilot and watching myself through my own eyes. I have no choice in what comes out of my mouth or my actions after a certain point. I’m in therapy but I don’t know if this is something I need help with or if I’m just in the wrong and need to grow up. I’m nearly 28 years old.

    5 comments
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    Your parent's relationship with each other can affect your mental health

    Today's podcast guest, speaks with me about how living in a chaotic, dysfunctional household impacted her mental health and how she began to heal in her adult years.

    Listen to today's episode to hear about Erika's journey with her physical and mental health and her relationship with her parents. I'm sure a lot of people will relate to this.

    accordingtodes.com/94-2

    #dysfunctional #dysfunctionalhousehold #ToxicMarriage #Toxic #ChildhoodAbuse #podcastepisode

    1 reaction
    Post

    What to do in Bipolar relationship?

    My husband is undiagnosed bipolar. He is hypomanic with jealous delusions, fits of anger, and long history of abuse since childhood. At the beginning everything was great, lately the manic episodes are so frequent we are fighting constantly. He accuses me of things I would never do, but the paranoia is starting to set in too. I am not sure how to help anymore. I have been trying to keep my own sanity together, but he just won’t seek help or stop the verbal assaults. Underneath all his words is his illness, but they hurt none the less. How do I help someone whom I love deeply who won’t help themselves?

    #ToxicMarriage

    3 comments
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    Don’t know what to do anymore

    I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire life from a very young age and now I’m married and struggling harder than ever in my marriage. My husband is a porn addict and recovering, however we’ve been married two year together three and not only had he watched porn religiously but also talked to other women on the internet asked for and sent photos, reached out to his exes and let it ruin our marriage. We separated briefly in February 2021 because he wouldn’t come to terms with his issues and the fact that he and his mother were manipulating me and controlling me (couldn’t talk to my family and she told me what he was doing wasn’t cheating and to grow up and get over it) after four months of separation having to start my life over and a divorce in progress we reconciled. But ever since we got back together and realized his addiction among other things had caused our hardship, he’s been suicidal and extremely depressed. He being suicidal has caused my anxiety to skyrocket. He’s held a gun to his head and knife to his throat so far. He’s seeing a therapist but I feel like this is never going to end. #needadvice #SuicidalThoughts #Depression #Anxiety #ToxicMarriage

    3 comments
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    My life is giving my trauma, Trauma

    toxic is when they cant let you go, but they cant treat you right either.. #ToxicMarriage #EmotionalAbuse

    1 reaction 6 comments
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    What if she is right

    That would make me a monster

    #ToxicMarriage

    3 comments
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    I'm just convent

    I want to know what everyone thinks and please be honest, I'm not going to be mad cause I am probably thinking same thing Well in 2019 me and this guy started hanging out nothing sexual at 1st. He was so sweet and caring always did what he could just to make me smile. He went out of his way when I didn't ask. I have horrible self esteem especially since I have touretts "just muscle jerks I can't control" Well he knee it bothered me bad, but he would say things like "it's cute" or "can't even tell" bla bla bla. Well within Fee days we started dating and 3 months later he talked me into marriage " I never thought or wanted get/be married" Well I thought life couldn't get any better. Then the day came. His friend was selling his car Well husband asked me if I'd get it for him since he didn't have any money. Well I told him I'd have to check see how much money I had, well I went and checked & didn't have that much so were in the car he keep saying How are you broke & telling me I was lying. Well he pulled car over and started going off on me. I was confused cause this was something that he didn't do he was amazing. Wow I was in a big surprise nxt thing I knew he punched me so hard that his one punch made both my eyes black swollen shut for about a month. Why I stayed I don't know. Well he apologized and keep telling me he was sorry and he didn't mean to do it,I'll nvr happen again. Skip forward to now he's in jail for beating me up for the 2nd time less than 2 months. Well He calls and writes & tell me how much he loves me followed by "can you put money on my books & order me a pac (a special order that comes with food so inmats don't have to eat that nasty jail food) But the days he don't need anything or I can't do anything cause I'm broke he is so mean and calls me every name in the book. I can't stand him treating me like that so I give in and do what he wants. This is a newer ending cycle. I want to leave cause I'm sick and tired of gettin treated this way, but I love him so much and I know somewhere in there is a sweet amazing man that I miss and want back, but I also know I don't have money like I used to. All because of him he literally took what he could and broke me. So is it just me or do ya thin he only wants whats what I'm convent
    #AbusiveRelationship #ToxicMarriage #worthl #DomesticAbuse

    5 comments