toxic marriage

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I can't just pretend

I can't flip a switch and pretend things are okay after you just spent two weeks treating me like I'm just a piece of shit. #ToxicMarriage

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#ToxicMarriage #Relationships #Anxiety #PTSD #lonely

#BipolarDepression #Mania narcissistic #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder

Is it possible for a narcissist to actually validate or take responsibility for their part in something they did that hurt someone else's feelings?

How do you have a conversation with someone who expects you to not just know what they are thinking and doing without them saying anything. But you should answer them with an answer they would give.

I needed to do a couple loads of laundry two days ago. I got busy during the day with the kids and other little things. So around 9:45 pm my partner and our 2 kids were watching a movie. I noticed our oldest was asleep so I got up told my partner I was going in the laundry room to do laundry. I was feeling a bit anxious all day so I decided to shut both doors, popped in my earbuds, and take a second for me. I'm halfway into the second song when he came busting into the room pissed off screaming I guess I'll just have to pack the baby up and take her to the store with me. He acts like I'm the worst parent ever if I take a second to breathe alone! I didn't know he was out of cigarettes and needed to go to the store. Why couldn't he have said hey before you do laundry I need to go get cigarettes real quick.

Anytime I try to express how I feel about something it turns into something completely different from what I was even talking about and ends with it being my fault! I'm sure he thinks I breathe wrong.

14 reactions 7 comments

Staying positive in bad times

How do you stay positive when there is souch negativity around you. When you see your marraige falling apart over something as trivial as an insecure mother in-law? How can something so petty have so much power.

It defies all logic.

I don't want to be sad. I don't want to dwell on negative thoughts. I want to be able to ignore shitty people and live my life as best as I can. I want to do what makes me happy. I don't want to waste my time being sad over my ungrateful husband. Its been over a month and he is adamant on his cold behavior towards me.

I'm trying to stay positive.

Any advice on how to be happier?

#Anxiety #ToxicMarriage #Narcissiticabuse

3 reactions 1 comment

Should "mama's boys" get married?

Its ridiculous how my husband's mother competes with me for his time and attention. Like seriously???!!!

And the funny part is that my husband sees nothing wrong with that!!!

How can a woman feel insecure because of her daughter in law? Isn't it unfair to the wife if her husband's mother keeps creating unnecessary drama in their life because of how petty she is?

Its so freaking hard for me to process this. Its just beyond me. Its beyond ridiculous.

My advice to anyone reading this is to NEVER marry a mama's boy. They'll make your marriage a joke.

What are your thoughts on this?

#ToxicMarriage #Anxiety #indiansocietyissofuckedup #mamasboy

11 reactions 11 comments

Is my husband toxic?

I used to stay with my husband at his parents' house. Since the very first day of our marriage his mother started interfering in our life. From knocking at our door at 8 in the morning to wake me up to giving us instructions on how to "behave" as a "decent couple" in front of others to putting restrictions on where we went and by what time we returned, she controlled every aspect of our marriage. As a new bride I put up with her shit for 2 months but later I started getting uncomfortable in the relationship. I started feeling like a puppet.

When I told my husband about this, he completely dismissed me saying that that's how his mother is and there's nothing wrong with that. We had several fights over his mother's controlling behavior as he repeatedly refused to understand my perspective or do anything about it. It got to a point where I started losing feelings for him. Everything felt forced. I told him that it feels like we've lost the spark which pissed him off and he blamed me for it.

He never took responsibility for his lack of action, he never tried to acknowledge let alone fix what was wrong, he ignored all my attempts to explain how I was feeling, he entirely dismissed my feelings, and when things got out of hand he blamed me for everything.

That was not it, despite me begging him to not involve his parents in our issues (as it would make things worse), he went and did exactly that. He said every little thing about me to his mother. He disclosed my deepest secrets to them. After which his toxic family went around bad mouthing me to my relatives. They came over to my house and insulted me in front of everyone.

I was traumatized after all this. I wanted to end things with him. But my family told me to not make any hasty decisions. So I decided to give my marraige another chance. I did my best to forget everything and start over with him, I made several attempts to fix things, but it did not move him a bit. He still blames me for everything. Whenever I try to be affectionate he dismisses me as if I never did any good to him. Its been a month and his behavior towards me is still cold.

I've been reading about narcissists, and I'm pretty sure his parents are narcissists. I'm not sure if his behaviour makes him a narcissist too but every time he gives me a cold shoulder, I think he could be one.

How long should I keep putting up with cold behavior and lack of remorse? Is it healthy to continue being in such a marriage?

#Anxiety #Marriage #Relationships #ToxicMarriage

12 reactions 7 comments

Is it Dissociation? #MentalHealth #DissociationDisorders #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #Marriage #ToxicMarriage

My partner and I have been married for nearly two years. Have been together for longer than that. Any time I try to “fix” what I think is wrong, I always end up the bad guy. We had someone sit in for our family meeting to see if there were any things that needed mediation in case our communication was off or toxic. Turns out, I don’t understand a thing my partner is saying to me and I make the conversation go in circles. By the third explanation through, my brain shuts off but I still contribute to the conversation. I will only cry and “shut down” when certain words or situations are brought up that I don’t understand. Is this dissociation? Or Do I just not understand what is being asked of me? Normal and reasonable are words used quite often to describe the things needed of me, but I don’t understand the definitions of those in terms of relationships. I am told that I am adult who needs to come to my own conclusions and that I shouldn’t have to be coddled like a child. I don’t think I need to be, but I do need clarification. But once we get there, it’s like my words are no longer my own and I have ZERO control of what I say or do. It’s like I’m on Autopilot and watching myself through my own eyes. I have no choice in what comes out of my mouth or my actions after a certain point. I’m in therapy but I don’t know if this is something I need help with or if I’m just in the wrong and need to grow up. I’m nearly 28 years old.


What to do in Bipolar relationship?

My husband is undiagnosed bipolar. He is hypomanic with jealous delusions, fits of anger, and long history of abuse since childhood. At the beginning everything was great, lately the manic episodes are so frequent we are fighting constantly. He accuses me of things I would never do, but the paranoia is starting to set in too. I am not sure how to help anymore. I have been trying to keep my own sanity together, but he just won’t seek help or stop the verbal assaults. Underneath all his words is his illness, but they hurt none the less. How do I help someone whom I love deeply who won’t help themselves?



Don’t know what to do anymore

I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire life from a very young age and now I’m married and struggling harder than ever in my marriage. My husband is a porn addict and recovering, however we’ve been married two year together three and not only had he watched porn religiously but also talked to other women on the internet asked for and sent photos, reached out to his exes and let it ruin our marriage. We separated briefly in February 2021 because he wouldn’t come to terms with his issues and the fact that he and his mother were manipulating me and controlling me (couldn’t talk to my family and she told me what he was doing wasn’t cheating and to grow up and get over it) after four months of separation having to start my life over and a divorce in progress we reconciled. But ever since we got back together and realized his addiction among other things had caused our hardship, he’s been suicidal and extremely depressed. He being suicidal has caused my anxiety to skyrocket. He’s held a gun to his head and knife to his throat so far. He’s seeing a therapist but I feel like this is never going to end. #needadvice #SuicidalThoughts #Depression #Anxiety #ToxicMarriage