I thought I’d try to write to you again to ask what is bothering you? I don’t understand why you’ve decided to not have any communication with us. I’m willing to listen. I’m open to listening.
I keep thinking it’s because of Instagram and me commenting on your posts,or your featured story videos,which, you use to like my commenting. It is social media. If I wanted to look at your photographs, or read what you’d put up, why would you think that’s “stalking you?”-If you don’t want people to see it then don’t post it.
Then I wonder if it was something I said in the past, or something you perceived as a wrong done to you.? Is it because I didn’t get counseling for you as a child? I guess I never fully realized or recognize your anxiety or depression till you were older. I never asked you if you’d want counseling when you were younger, and you never asked that from us. Perhaps, if someone had told me, like a teacher or school counselor I would have gotten you help.
Is it because I’ve had PTSD episodes in life before.? I don’t know what affect that had on you or your sister. We tried our best to raise you. I’ve been in counseling several times, for PTSD and also for emotional processing, and anticipatory grief.
It’s my business, and my concern. I needn’t feel guilt, or shame, or be judged or stigmatized, for working on my emotional health and mental well-being,no matter what is happening around me.
Sooner or later we grow up and should realize what we’re responsible for, what we’re accountable for. I thought we’d already talked about the resentments you’d had regarding us.
Anyhow, as adults, I thought we were friends or certainly friendly. I miss the times when you were my daughter. What happened to change that?
I’m sorry I wasn’t given an instruction manual on how to act or what to do, when one’s child has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, and has decided to cut off all communication with parents.
Perhaps, it’s because you don’t see us as loving, or supporting you? We’ve tried. We can only do what we do, what and how we know to do things. We can only love how we know how to love. How we convey our love as individuals is all different.
On your end, to us, you don’t say anything, you don’t respond. I feel the rift between us is just there, and it bothers me. I know there’s been miscommunication and misunderstandings between us. Can we open a dialogue. I want to understand. I’d like to help make things right between us.
I Love You Always,
Mom