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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is WonderWoman_1973. I'm here because I want to be able to not only share my own experiences with others, but also learn about others' experiences by asking lots of questions and comparing experiences to learn more! Support from a community of people who have things in common with one's self can be one of the greatest "physicians."

#multi-organ transplant (5)
#pulmonary Embolism
#Hypothyroidism (under active Thyroid)
#Antiphospholipid Syndrome
#autoimmune thrombosis
#breast cancer survivor
#lymphoma survivor#multi

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Grief, Struggles, Depression (Wash Cycle Doesn’t End)

I started my #Recovery journey in 2014 and I found a new way of life immediately. No one warned me the NEW was NEW Chapters of Life, Chapters which would not finish before the next starts….
In 2014 I had to have a #lumpectomy from my right #breast .
In the beginning of 2015 I was served #Divorce papers. By the end of the year we reconciled.
In 2016 when I should be excited my eldest is graduating from High School, simultaneously my second born had to have #OpenHeartSurgery .
In 2017 second born lost his first grandmother and I got to fly him from CA to ME to see her take her last breath.
In 2019 I was the proud #homeowner with my #husband of 10 years. We were finally making the #americandream .
In April 2020 I get a phonecall my father has had a #brainstemstroke I had to come home to Maine to assist with #lifeendingchoices .
In May 2020 my Mother is diagnosed with #OvarianCancer .
I am now temporarily living with my mother, being a #Caregiver , yet my #husband #mycaregiver #Abandoned me and then requested to take #fullcustody of #ourdaughter via the #Divorce .
In July 2021 my Mother sadly passed away. I have become an #Orphan too quickly. #Grief and #Depression is all too real now.
In March 2022, My second son has now come down sick. Doctors spend months trying to figure out why. It takes until July 2022 to diagnose him with #Sepsis #Endocarditis he spends 2 weeks #hospitalized and another 8 weeks on a #PiccLine at home.
In Dec 2022 he is given a clean bill of health and decides to come live with me in #Maine .
In Feb 2023 he starts to become tired easily, slight cough, and finally passed out in March.
March 10th he passed out at home. We called #911 and the #localer #Misdiagnosed him.
March 13th I took him to #mainemedicalcenter where he was hospitalized for 7 days with #Pneumonia and possible #Endocarditis where he was then transferred to #boston .
March 19th upon arriving to #brighamwomanhospital - #shapirocardiovascularcenter he underwent dozens more blood testing, procedures, exams, etc.
Today March 27th he is having #OpenHeartSurgery Number 2 to replace the pulmonary valve, pulmonary conduit, remove large vegetation.
In a couple of days as scheduled I am also supposed to exchange visitation with my daughter so I can visit with her for Spring Vacation. However my ex is trying to knit pick about my schedule and if I have ample time to spend with our daughter while my adult son is in ICU. Our daughter is 11 years old.
I really feel in the last multiple years I have had one catastrophic event after another without time to process.
I have other things like major moves, loss of therapists, and other medical mental health issues. I am so exhausted today scared sick for my son.
I am so annoyed how some people enjoy kicking others while they are down.
I don’t even know when I am going to sleep again right now. I have so many thoughts, concerns, to do’s in my head - I can’t sleep it is going to drive me crazy.
I am so sick of being in a chapter book that doesn’t let the chapters end.

10 reactions 5 comments
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Post mastectomy #Surgery #Recovery #breast #Pain #exhaustion #Cancer

I’d love to hear from others.
I had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction on the first of the month
I still have JP drains
I still have a ton of pain
I still have no appetite
My intestines are still sore and bleeding
I’m still so so weak
Is this normal? What should I do

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Mortality #cowdens #Hysterectomy #Thyroidectomy #colon #breast

I lost a patient tonight. Not unusual in a busy ER. This was a fairly young woman with stage 4 uterine CA . A family history of breast, colon and thyroid cancer. And a large head. All the hallmark signs of cowdens. She was conscious, coherent and talking. Thanking everyone for helping her. She was in agony. Now she is gone. I truly believe to a better, happier place. But I don’t like to face my own mortality #cowdens #Cancer #pe #Cancer #Cardiac arrest

3 comments
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#saturday time out!

Taking time out from my troubles for a few hours. Managing several chronic conditions and day to day tasks is mind boggling to say the least.
#breast cancer survivor of 18 yrs, #Psoriatic and osteo arthritis, #Asthma , #Bipolar depression, #Celiac disease,#Loss of hearing in one ear, #chronic pain - full body,#Fibromyalgia ,#Psoriasis , #lactose free #Gluten free, # preemie, ....

depression

Share your experience with depression and connect with people to support you.
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#MajorDepressiveDisorder #BPD #Bipolar type 2 # Generalised anxiety disorder #breast cancer #chronic migraines #Addiction #Insomnia #ADD

Considering all the Hashtags I've just used I'm wondering exactly what The Universe has planned for me . You'd put a dog down for less 🤷🏼

Anyway, my reason for posting is to ask all you lovely folk, who may, or may not be reading this, whether anyone has had to cope with a dual diagnosis of mental health and addiction?

I am aware of the fact that my mental health issues started to emerge during my teens. Probably around the age of 12 or 13. And it wasn't too long after that I started experimenting with illegal substances.

My family life was pretty unstable, mum had been having an affair on and off for a few years, and came and went a couple of times.

This culminated in a last ditch attempt by my parents to save their marriage, and we ended up moving from the town I had grown up and gone to school in, and where all my friends and family were, to the London suburbs.

At the time I was halfway through my GCSE's. I had to change a couple of subjects because the classes were full. Went from a mixed school to a girls' school, and was subsequently bullied. I vividly remember taking an overdose before going to school one day, becoming frightened, and making myself sick when I got to school. I went to the office and told them I was sick and spent the rest of the day lying down in the sick room. (Implying no-one came to pick me up).

During this time, I woke up one morning as usual got ready for school etc. When I was leaving my mum was leaving too. And she turned and looked at me and said "Joanna, when you come back from school today I won't be here ".
To which I replied,
"Why what are you doing "?
And she said,
"I'm leaving your dad, so I won't be home tonight, but I'll be in touch soon "

At which point I became extremely emotional, on the verge of hysterical and fell to my knees begging her not to go, imploring her to explain why she was leaving, and whether it had anything to do with me.

The most painful, and upsetting memory I have about the whole scenario, is her basically taking my hands off her, and leaving me crying and distraught on the doorstep.

I have been lucky enough to be blessed with a beautiful daughter, she's 22 now, and I did everything in my power, not to repeat the cycle. It took a bit of tough love from a very close friend, and a lot of soul searching, to ensure that my daughter didn't experience the pain of rejection and abandonment that I did. Thankfully she's fairly well adjusted.

What I'm struggling to say is that I'm finding harder and harder to function on any kind of 'sane' level on a day to day basis. I was supposed to see a psychiatrist last week, which I failed to attend.

This is common for me, because I self sabotage. But it only adds to the disarray of my life and trying to live it.

My addiction started as a teenager and I have never had any sort of abstinence to speak of. I know my brain is fucked, I'm fucked, everything is, and I can't find any way out.

12 steps didn't work. Tried many times.

1 comment
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Birthday 🎉🎉🎈

Shared coffee ☕ with a neighbor and her service 🐕‍🦺 BEAR. Went for a beautiful walk to get some fresh air and see things in the daylight. Last weekend of good daylight.
Went to my favorite non dairy treat shop and got some yummy dreamy chocolate chip fudge ice cream. Being non dairy, treats that taste good are rare, so I gave myself a treat today.
#chronic pain #Distract me #breast cancer survivor, seasonal affective, #Depression #Fibromyalgia , #positive thought of the Day, self care, #Anxiety , #Forgotten ,#invisible illness,

I want to thank all the mighties that have wished me Happy Birthday 🎁🎉,!
Signing off mighties

2 comments
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Friday night

Busy but productive day 😉.
My last day @ "69"! . Tomorrow the day before Halloween starts a new chapter @ "70"! I penned a phrase today ,
My wick is still burning 🥵, just flickers sometimes 😂!
The many aches n pains in my body remind me that I'm not not as young as I used to be but I keep on ticking! 👍.
#chronic pain, #Fibromyalgia , #Distract me, #check in with me, #Bipolar , #seasonal affective ,## happy light, #breast cancer survivor -17 yrs, ##positive thought of the Day,
Be mighty everyone this weekend.

9 comments