#CheckInWithMe: Give and get support here.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and with the epic universe opening at universal studios in Florida in a few short weeks, my depression has skyrocketed.

I live in the Midwest, far away from anything fun, pretty much in bum f*ck nowhere. I think the greatest clame to fame we have anywhere around me is The Dells and the water park capital of the world. Which I cal bullshit because it’s literally cold all the time!! The Dells is also garbage. Just tourists crap, nothing really cohesive.

Needless to say I hate where I live, it’s cold all the time even in the ‘summer’. My anxiety and depression are terrible and only get worse when we fall behind and then not only is it cold, but now it’s dark.

I’ve been struggling for just shy of a year now to find a job. Apparently, the postings are for show because absolutely barely anyone is calling me back. I’m aware that the currently political situation is only complicated things even more.

I spend a lot of time on YouTube, and videos of previews of the epic universe have been abundant and the first few were cool to watch. But now they are just making me extremely sad. I feel completely powerless and just want to be there in that beautiful weather at the theme parks. Yes I’m aware it wouldn’t end my anxiety and depression, but I bet the warm weather coupled with the theme parks would be a massive pick me up.

I’ve been to Disney and Universal a handful of times throughout the years and always wanted that escape from the Midwest permanently. I’m aware working for the parks would be different, but honestly it can’t be any worse than the Midwest…I’ve been trying for years to work for the parks for litteral years. First through the collage program, but was rejected not once but twice! A few years apart too, and always turned down for anything I applied too posted on their website since I’ve now aged out of the collage program. Including custodial! Which I have 14 years experience in :(

I wish I just had the money to pick up and leave, not I do not have that luxury and would need an offer before I just packed up. I also cannot stand my family’s reaction to this want of mine always trying to tell me of how awesome the state is…using Facebook and showing me posts from people who have visited maybe once for a few days…bro they have not been here in the middle of January when it’s negative outside they come for summer fest or whatever. So no, I’m sorry those peoples opinions do not count. Sometimes they tell me to just move then if I’m so unhappy. Well I can’t just move because of this thing called money.

I hate drowning in my anxiety and depression, which honestly is what makes up most of my days. I don’t know why I’m writing this, just wanted to vent I guess.

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#Depression
#MajorDepressiveDisorder #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts