I am having a hard time tonight.
My bf just started a new job recently and now I am trying to adjust to a new schedule.
To catch anyone up: I was unhoused for a couple of years and my complex ptsd got really bad. I have had severe panic attacks since then. I also had to move cities across the state and no longer access my “safe places” and my circle of friends. And after all of this I am having new symptoms pop up so I am having mobility issues. This is all being addressed in therapy- so I’m just venting. 😂 which coming back up to this- it did help.
I do a lot of things- I volunteer, attend groups and therapy, I am working on renewing my school psychologist license, I paint, I advocate, I am a heavy hobb-iest (lol I dabble in a lot of things)- I keep myself busy enough while still having space and time to process things. The problem is with these “extra symptoms” -the ones I have now because of the extra trauma of being unhoused- I have a hard time being at home. (I’m working on it in therapy!!) I didn’t have these in the evening- when my anxiety ramps back up- by myself because these came from being unhoused. I also live in a “new” city that’s across the state from my old city. I am working on building my social circle but with my symptoms it is challenging. I also am working my way with some new diagnoses and figuring out supports I need for accessibility- which kind of factors into the panic of going places. I’m aware of all of the parts of it- unfortunately 😵💫 it’s just that the logic doesn’t work for the panic. I wish it did though. 😂 that would be really nice.
Anyways- the whole point of this is I have a hard time coping with change and unstructured time. I know what my therapists keep telling me- I am doing all the right things and it’s just about coping through it. But that really sucks sometimes 🫠🙃I probably should write some affirmations or something.
#Agoraphobia #PanicDisorder #ADHD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ChronicVestibularMigraine #AutonomicDysfunction #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #CheckInWithMe