engaged

Without explaining my life story, I'm super messed up in the head (because of things that happened in my life). I'm not suicidal, but I constantly think about my own death and how numb I feel. I push this ridiculously happy persona to everyone around me to hide the fact that my emotions and memories are literally eating my soul. I've asked for help from my Fiance, but even after sending him articles on how to help he doesn't seem to change anything. I'm 1000+ miles away from my hometown and everyone/everything I know. All I have is him and I don't know how to make him help me. I just need him to pull me close and tell me I'll be okay. He loves me and takes such good care of me, but I feel so guilty for hating myself and expecting him to fix me. I'm a mess. 😔 #Depression #CPTSD #CPTSDinrelationships #Relationships #engaged #Broken #Guilty #Mess

She started talking to me suddenly as if nothing at all ever happened. Like we travelled six months back in time!! Same inside jokes and everything. #Borderline #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #narcissistic #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #unstable #relationship