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Invisible Army

This is a love letter to all the 53 million family caregivers out there. XOXO HZ
Dear “Invisible Army”,
As we approach National Family Caregiver Month I want you to know I am here for you.
I am your advocate, defender, and non-judgemental friend you may lean on.
I hear your secret cries in the shower, cars, and bathroom stalls alone.
I understand the frustration and sadness of what was and what is.
I see YOU when you are in the shadows and behind the scenes making sure your loved ones have the spotlight as you find your light fading.
All 53 million of you.
I feel your isolation, pain, guilt, shame, and loss of self.
I share in your triumph of having 15 minutes alone.
I grant you grace when you are barely treading water.
I will emphasize self-compassion for you are only human.
I will breathe with you when the doctor brushes you off, because how could you who are on the clock 24/7 and deal with crisis after crisis on a daily basis possibly know what is going on with your loved one when you didn’t choose to go into this field.
I will advocate for you when work questions “Again? Didn’t something just happen?” Yes, I will say with you and say yes it did just happen and it will happen again and again and thank you for the support and shared understanding.
I will not apologize anymore with you for the chaos that is ours and embrace it.
I hand you my voice to advocate for yourself.
I give permission to you to start putting boundaries so you may find your joy again.
I empower you to dig into your trauma and acknowledge your grief.
I will hold this safe space for you to begin your forgiveness journey of self and others.
I gift you light and love to fill the cracks of your broken heart and spirit so you may begin to rebuild both to become stronger and greater.
I laugh with you at the healing power of dark humor.
I will challenge you to find the beauty in this brutal life we lead.
I will gladly conduct this hot mess express and advance us into the light.
I want you to know I am here for you.
I am your advocate, defender, and non-judgemental friend you may lean on.
One of Fifty-three million.
#Disability #thanksgiving2018 #caring #agere #seniorcare #Dementia #seniorliving #griefsupport #SafeSpace #socialworker #ageregression #families #sfwlittlespace #ddlb #patient #littlespacecommunity #firstaid #Caregiving #babycore #Caregivers #patientcare #elderlycare #assistedliving #eldercare #alzheimersawareness #ageregressioncommunity #ageregressionsfw #onlinecounselling #homehealthcare #Caregiversupport #nationalfamilycaregiver


Confusion & Feeling Like A Hypocrite

I have got a workshop to attend tomorrow and the topic of it is: •physical health and wellbeing and learning first aid for self harm . basically I think it’s about trying to minimise harm/prevent infection, basically to do with keeping ourselves safe. #Selfharm #Health #firstaid #workshop

And I feel like crawling in my skin because I had been involved with the service running this workshop before, and I feel ashamed that I need their help again
just admitting how long self harm has been going on for me saddens me but it feels like normality
and the fact I know my behaviours have been changing and getting much worse and more complicated. I feel like a hypocrite being able to hand out positivity and give logical-minded advice to others and remind them of reasons not to do it.
Then I’m alone and I just feel myself crashing down and losing any motivation to not punish myself and it’s just an out of control mess right now but I’m trying hard to do productive things with my day. I feel this #Shame and #Fear of hearing truth I’ve been denying about the reality of the SH I’m dealing with.

My moods either feel like an chaotic,intense tornado hitting me or I feel dead and not truly present.

It’s a hard to describe out of my body feeling, everything I look at is all foggy and flat and nothing looks real and my body feels detached from me and I am not on the earth anymore. I know now it’s my anxiety trying to help me cope. #Anxiety #AnxietyDisorders #DepersonalizationDisorder