Today I finally realized there are things I need to change about myself. Particularly if I want for my marriage to survive. And if I want for my relationship with God to be fruitful.
I haven't been very supportive of my husband and the changes he is making for the positive. I haven't been supportive of decisions he has been making. I have not been patient. I have not really cared about his feelings. I have not looked out for his interests. I have not remained calm.
I think some of it has to do with the anxiety and depression. But I think the majority of it is because I have never had to answer to anyone. I have always been independent. Made my own choices. Done whatever I want to do. And that's that. But making my own choices and doing what I want to do has led me down bad roads. Making bad decisions, with bad consequences.
I want to do things the right way. Learn how to be a good Christian wife. Learn how to step out of my own box of selfishness and forgive and live accordingly.
First step is a lot of prayer. #jw #Anxiety #Depression #independent