Feeling like a total idiot ..... #COVID19 #longcovid #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #Selfcare #Toxic #Abuse #youmatter
Even though I know I am doing the right thing , even though I know its best for my life and my mental health , Even though u know it was wrong way I was treated , the lies ,the nastiness,the horrible words,the way I was hurt, humiliated and made to feel worthless.Over those 5 years those even slight little moments and memories of the little things or stuff that made me happy and those times where things felt right and good at times pop into my head and then i feel I miss him (the old him ,the him that was the act ),I miss things(all obviously like role play to him)I miss those moments(something he'd probablysene on TV or heard about and was reenacting).Even when I knew I wasn't strong enough and was putting up with things I shouldn't have .Even though I know he probably didn't care or love me at all ,I still have these moments where i feel these ways and then I feel daft and angry at myself or as though I'm pathetic in ways for even having these thoughts when there is now so many more negative and hurtful memories and moments......
Just wish I could switch of feelings and when I know what he is now and what it all was why I still can't accept that and still then have these feelings ....
Anyone else any advice or been in similar situations??How did you get through it ? What did you feel like after it all and were you able to just forget ???
#COVID19 #longcovid #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #Toxic #Abuse #youmatter #beyou #COVID19 #MentalHealth #narcissist #Gaslighting #silenttreatment #Endometriosis #Insomnia #CheckInWithMe #loveyourself #knowyoureworth