Linear IgA Disease

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    I need to vent

    The lad that used to bully and harass me had last night a conflict with another colleague just this time he almost ended wounded, my colleague just shout, sweared and pushed him.
    The conflict started when the first guy couldn’t keep his mouth shut and to mind his own business he needed to go to management and say “look what X (will call the 2nd colleague as this) is doing, he’s ripping the boxes with the hand and he wants to do easier job when he’s repacking them” and after X started to shout, to swear and to push him.
    Because one of the team leader was around there I went and told him what happened, the team leader went to office and took the other orange vest.
    After statements and cameras watched X got suspended and an investigation was started.

    I really don’t know if I’ve done the right thing but it seems that way.
    I’m not defending any1 and I always told X to be careful because the bully is reporting us for everything we’re doing but it seemed that I was talking with a wall.

    All this shouting, temper and anger, these are triggers for me and the only reason that I stayed a bit chiller was that another colleague, a friend, took me on a walk to have a little chat.

    I’m truly sorry for X but I warned him at least 20 times, the same, mind his own business.

    #mental health

    13 reactions 2 comments

    There once was a lady bug

    There once was a Lady bug, who would make people laugh.

    The Lady bug, would tell funny stories, to everyone.

    One day, the lady bug, was not feeling well.

    Oh no, lady bug is not well.

    What should we do?

    Call the doctor, said a bird.

    No, said a dog.

    Tell it a joke, said the children.

    Yes, said the duck.

    Knock knock, said the children.

    Lady bug, who was not well, tried to have fun.

    She said, in a week voice, who is there?

    Bug said the children.

    Bug who answered lady bug.

    Bug said the children again.

    Bug who lady bug said again.

    Bug said the children, yet again.

    Bug who said lady bug.

    Lady bug, that is who, answered the children.

    Very funny said lad bug.

    The next day, lady bug was her old self, once again.

    Lady bug thank the children, with there own collection, of what else lady bugs.

    The end.


    Living with Depression - A Metaphor

    When I was in college, and studying the Pre-Raphaelites, I stumbled upon the Tennyson poem below. It to me brought to life all that I experienced in coping with PTSD and depression. To live a life on the outskirts, stepping in and sharing and enjoying companionship of friends so brightly, yet so costly.

    The numbness and dullness of looking "through a glass darkly" (thank you Sylvia Plath) is as living carefully and as gently as possible while not poking the dragon which sleeps beneath the surface. The idea of living and recording all around you while not partaking of it, is so much the way of the one struggling with this disease. Every step into the real world comes as a shard of glass stabbed into your naked toe. To live fully, you must experience all of the pain, just as the splitting of the fin into legs was for the Little Mermaid. I did not know for so many years, that others didn't feel the same intensity or repercussions. The extreme trauma that played out for me was a signal that I was defective, I could not control my emotions, and I was out of line and lacking. The lack of understanding and support, in fact the loneliness and rejection from all around lead back to you and only you, and so the cycle begins, and continues, with no middle or end, it simply is.

    The Lady of Shalott (1842)


    Part I

    On either side the river lie

    Long fields of barley and of rye,

    That clothe the wold and meet the sky;

    And thro' the field the road runs by

    To many-tower'd Camelot;

    And up and down the people go,

    Gazing where the lilies blow

    Round an island there below,

    The island of Shalott.

    Willows whiten, aspens quiver,

    Little breezes dusk and shiver

    Thro' the wave that runs for ever

    By the island in the river

    Flowing down to Camelot.

    Four gray walls, and four gray towers,

    Overlook a space of flowers,

    And the silent isle imbowers

    The Lady of Shalott.

    By the margin, willow veil'd,

    Slide the heavy barges trail'd

    By slow horses; and unhail'd

    The shallop flitteth silken-sail'd

    Skimming down to Camelot:

    But who hath seen her wave her hand?

    Or at the casement seen her stand?

    Or is she known in all the land,

    The Lady of Shalott?

    Only reapers, reaping early

    In among the bearded barley,

    Hear a song that echoes cheerly

    From the river winding clearly,

    Down to tower'd Camelot:

    And by the moon the reaper weary,

    Piling sheaves in uplands airy,

    Listening, whispers " 'Tis the fairy

    Lady of Shalott."

    Part II

    There she weaves by night and day

    A magic web with colours gay.

    She has heard a whisper say,

    A curse is on her if she stay

    To look down to Camelot.

    She knows not what the curse may be,

    And so she weaveth steadily,

    And little other care hath she,

    The Lady of Shalott.

    And moving thro' a mirror clear

    That hangs before her all the year,

    Shadows of the world appear.

    There she sees the highway near

    Winding down to Camelot:

    There the river eddy whirls,

    And there the surly village-churls,

    And the red cloaks of market girls,

    Pass onward from Shalott.

    Sometimes a troop of damsels glad,

    An abbot on an ambling pad,

    Sometimes a curly shepherd-lad,

    Or long-hair'd page in crimson clad,

    Goes by to tower'd Camelot;

    And sometimes thro' the mirror blue

    The knights come riding two and two:

    She hath no loyal knight and true,

    The Lady of Shalott.

    But in her web she still delights

    To weave the mirror's magic sights,

    For often thro' the silent nights

    A funeral, with plumes and lights

    And music, went to Camelot:

    Or when the moon was overhead,

    Came two young lovers lately wed:

    "I am half sick of shadows," said

    The Lady of Shalott.

    Part III

    A bow-shot from her bower-eaves,

    He rode between the barley-sheaves,

    The sun came dazzling thro' the leaves,

    And flamed upon the brazen greaves

    Of bold Sir Lancelot.

    A red-cross knight for ever kneel'd

    To a lady in his shield,

    That sparkled on the yellow field,

    Beside remote Shalott.

    The gemmy bridle glitter'd free,

    Like to some branch of stars we see

    Hung in the golden Galaxy.

    The bridle bells rang merrily

    As he rode down to Camelot:

    And from his blazon'd baldric slung

    A mighty silver bugle hung,

    And as he rode his armour rung,

    Beside remote Shalott.

    All in the blue unclouded weather

    Thick-jewell'd shone the saddle-leather,

    The helmet and the helmet-feather

    Burn'd like one burning flame together,

    As he rode down to Camelot.

    As often thro' the purple night,

    Below the starry clusters bright,

    Some bearded meteor, trailing light,

    Moves over still Shalott.

    His broad clear brow in sunlight glow'd;

    On burnish'd hooves his war-horse trode;

    From underneath his helmet flow'd

    His coal-black curls as on he rode,

    As he rode down to Camelot.

    From the bank and from the river

    He flash'd into the crystal mirror,

    "Tirra lirra," by the river

    Sang Sir Lancelot.

    She left the web, she left the loom,

    She made three paces thro' the room,

    She saw the water-lily bloom,

    She saw the helmet and the plume,

    She look'd down to Camelot.

    Out flew the web and floated wide;

    The mirror crack'd from side to side;

    "The curse is come upon me," cried

    The Lady of Shalott.

    Part IV

    In the stormy east-wind straining,

    The pale yellow woods were waning,

    The broad stream in his banks complaining,

    Heavily the low sky raining

    Over tower'd Camelot;

    Down she came and found a boat

    Beneath a willow left afloat,

    And round about the prow she wrote

    The Lady of Shalott.

    And down the river's dim expanse

    Like some bold seër in a trance,

    Seeing all his own mischance—

    With a glassy countenance

    Did she look to Camelot.

    And at the closing of the day

    She loosed the chain, and down she lay;

    The broad stream bore her far away,

    The Lady of Shalott.

    Lying, robed in snowy white

    That loosely flew to left and right—

    The leaves upon her falling light—

    Thro' the noises of the night

    She floated down to Camelot:

    And as the boat-head wound along

    The willowy hills and fields among,

    They heard her singing her last song,

    The Lady of Shalott.

    Heard a carol, mournful, holy,

    Chanted loudly, chanted lowly,

    Till her blood was frozen slowly,

    And her eyes were darken'd wholly,

    Turn'd to tower'd Camelot.

    For ere she reach'd upon the tide

    The first house by the water-side,

    Singing in her song she died,

    The Lady of Shalott.

    Under tower and balcony,

    By garden-wall and gallery,

    A gleaming shape she floated by,

    Dead-pale between the houses high,

    Silent into Camelot.

    Out upon the wharfs they came,

    Knight and burgher, lord and dame,

    And round the prow they read her name,

    The Lady of Shalott.

    Who is this? and what is here?

    And in the lighted palace near

    Died the sound of royal cheer;

    And they cross'd themselves for fear,

    All the knights at Camelot:

    But Lancelot mused a little space;

    He said, "She has a lovely face;

    God in his mercy lend her grace,

    The Lady of Shalott."

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    My boys & girls are the best

    This is my Lad, he’s a velvet rex. He’s just 1 of 11, including 4 brothers from the same litter! He’s the best snuggler when I feel rough, it’s like he knows

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    Oingo Boingo. All of it lol. Try, Only a Lad.

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    Finishing touches to my bathroom project #Depression #Mindfulness

    I’ve chosen the timber for the floors of my repainted bathroom. This weekend I’m going to lay it.

    Such a rewarding feeling to see it getting close to being done.

    Why invest so much time and energy into a job like this?

    This is the part of my home where I can refresh and recharge after a busy day. I’ve decided to prioritise my health and make sure I’m energised. No more burn out for this lad!

    I’m taking a good feeling of pride in my work and that fuels my spirit as well.

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    Mr J

    In honor of a guy i met on the ward at my last stay in hospital, here's Mr J! Great lad, and reminded me so much of the Joker :-)


    This last month has been a roller coaster ride for me. My RA has been giving me fits and to top it off my electrolytes keep getting out of wack. I’m on Simponi infusions every 8 weeks, have hyperthyroidism, osteoporosis, osteoarthritis, PsA, thrombocytopenia and heart problems. I’m fused from C-3 to T-1 and L3 to S1. I need a hip replacement and that is not possible due to my severe osteoporosis so my rheumatologist is starting me on Prolea my next infusion at the end of June. I just had an injection in my left hip to try to help alleviate some of the pain but the general anesthesia caused all kinds of havoc with my heart and a trip to the ER for chest pain. I have had two stints placed and still have a 50 % blockage in the LAD that they did not stint because it needed to be @ 70%. I’ve finally been able to reverse the electrolyte imbalance which helped with some of the spasms and bone pain but the anxiety I have from all the above is going to throw me completely over the edge lately. I have two bad heart valves. I’m so tired of being sick and tied and not being able to do the things I want to do. I’m a retired ER/ ICU nurse so idle time has never been in my vocabulary. I’m going insane here. I haven’t posted in a long time I’m more of a reader and do pray for each of you daily. I just feel so lonely here. Just needed to vent that’s all. I appreciate your time if you read this far 😁 #Anxiety
    #Hip bone on bone