Linear IgA Disease

Join the Conversation on
Linear IgA Disease
233 people
0 stories
44 posts
About Linear IgA Disease
Explore Our Newsletters
What's New in Linear IgA Disease
All
Stories
Posts
Videos
Latest
Trending
Post
See full photo

A lifetime of animals

When I look into my dog's eyes, I see simplicity, honesty, perfection and love. Sadly, I cannot see that in adult human eyes but the glimmer exists in children's, before adults knock it out of them and they become the conniving, dishonest, frightened beings we recognise as neurotypical human beings.

We only have one dog left now - Jack the lad, Jack in the box, Jack of hearts. He is growing older and more arthritic with time. He is also imitating our last old dog Midge, which fought its way back from a stroke to full health (lopsided head, with left bias, to fully upright again) before succumbing to the inability to gain sustenance from any food, through suffering perpetual diarrhoea.

Holly, the old Labrador we had before her, was full of joy but they didn't get on. One night, shortly after we obtained Midge, she panicked, bumped into Holly and bit off part of her ear. After this incident Holly was badly shaken and within a short period of time developed diabetes.

Me and my wife's first pet together was Corrie. She had taken possession of her as a puppy and met me in her twilight years. She instantly recognised me as a fellow traveller through life and we got on well from that instant. If we hadn't got on well as my wife pointed, that would have been me out the door, not her. When she eventually passed away, we were both by her side. She looked from left to right, making sure we were both situated near her and died shortly after midnight.

We had looked after a friend's dog, when she went off on courses, at a period after this. Eventually she said that we might as well keep Ludi as she was with us more than her anyway. Shortly after this we also acquired Holly, although our original intention was to get only one new dog.

We got Holly from a friend of my wife's. We picked her because she picked us, coming straight up to me when we viewed the batch of puppies. On the way home, she started off on my lap, venturing up to my shoulders then onto the parcel shelf at the back of the car. The first few nights she slept on my head like a wig or under the covers with her rear end sticking out.

Her and that bed. She was only aggressive twice and that was when my wife tried to move her position. She was like a typewriter carriage. Every time you turned over in bed, she lumped up against your body in the new place, until eventually you found yourself on the edge or with the duvet totally off you. If you tried to move her, she growled in displeasure. My tactic was always to get out of bed and move to the other side but not Margaret's.

Ludi died of a haemorrhage when we lived in Thurso. She had run like the wind, chasing deer and rabbits. If we ever lost her, she never lost us. She would calmly turn up at our house house, while we were out, frantically searching for her, in the last place she was seen. She ate dead rabbits that were so mouldy, she would end up bringing them back up, ears and feet mostly. Finally she became so arthritic that she struggled to walk, let alone run.

Holly became ill when we moved to our present location. Years of injuries and general wear and tear, dragged her down. During her youth, she had run across the road and furniture lorry had hit her, dislocating one of her back legs. In her old age the joint became swollen and slowed down her pace. She developed bladder stones on top of this, which meant she had to go on a special diet. This necessitated me having to walk her round the village in the early hours of the morning as well, in an attempt to dislodge them enough, so that she could urinate but this didn't always work. Come the dawn though, she relaxed at the thought that she had survived another night and the liquid flowed out onto the carpet.

This was not the end of her woes though. She had diabetes which led to daily injections by me and her slowly going blind and deaf. I had to sleep downstairs for the last year of her life as she could no longer get up the stairs. When the vet came to put her to sleep, he wanted to give her the fatal injection in the kitchen but she dug her heels in. I told him it didn't matter as she had already messed on the carpet enough that we were going to have to replace it anyway, after she was gone. We also had Jack at that time and I shut him in the garage out of the way. He and Holly were best friends, so he took her departure very hard, howling in such a mournful way in the garage, I felt guilty about putting her down for years afterwards.

A few months before Holly developed diabetes, we acquired Midge. She didn't get on with Holly and shortly after we got her, she accidentally bumped into her in the middle of the night and bit off a piece of her ear. The vet turned it into a cauliflower, which meant all feeling left it. Another violent incident led to Midge ripping the dead ear from top to bottom, requiring the vet to staple it back together. Holly however was ecstatic as she had won the fight with her old adversary because she felt no pain, when Midge attacked her.

Midge was a severely traumatised dog and even after Holly died, she attacked Jack for no good reason. She was old when we got her and because of this it wasn't long before she too couldn't make the stairs. Once again I spent several months sleeping downstairs, while Jack went upstairs with my wife.

I was brought up with cats but my wife was allergic to them. My first cat when I lived at home, was a white haired kitten. It was accidentally killed when a draught from the back door, slammed the front door on it. My mother frantically rushed around the neighbours, trying to find a replacement before I came home. When I arrived back from school, apparently my first remark was "My, Whitey has grown since I left this morning!"

The next pet we had was a ginger cat. She gave birth to several kittens before dying. We kept her last three - a ginger tom, a white tom and a multi-coloured female. The ginger tom got shut in a neighbour's shed and was found dead a few days later. He had an ulcer on his neck that we treated with a green cream that the vet gave us. It shrunk down to the size of a sixpence but always flared up again. His brother succumbed to the same problem, when I was away at college. Male cats always get into fights, so it is not an uncommon for them to end up with this injury.

My father dug a grave for ginger and found a shoe box to act as a coffin. My brother painted a wooden headstone and I spent a night time vigil, kneeling by the place my pet was buried. I had bought an illustrated candle, which burnt down the inside and as it did this it illuminated the picture on the outside.

Visiting Norwich, a market trader talked me into buying a budgie. Unfortunately my mother got fed up with Spoot, splashing bird seed all over the carpet and so he was banished to the small room by the stairs, where he became neglected and sadly died. Yes, I felt guilty about this and still do.

The only other pets we had were goldfish, which we got when I was very young. I tried to bury them in the garden, to see if they could swim through the soil as well as they did in water. Luckily my mother caught me and saved them. She bought exotic fish that were kept in a tank. Eventually they all died from a fungal disease called white spot.

2 reactions
Post

Miserable again

So another miserable day fed up with being alone with no one to talk to. My LAD continues to say he wants a relationship with me but when I try to msg him all I ever get is ignored (not sure it's even him u do talk to) I try to have a talk/chat with him send him a msg but just get ignored for days sometimes weeks before he even replies. So I just move in & forget the 4 beautiful children I have as they seem to have moved in & forgotten about me. How I would love to just sit & talk to another human. I haven't had contact with anyone for sometimes now. I've never been what you would call a social butterfly but some human contact is needed. Apologies to ALL OF YOU for boring you with this small issue.

Post

I’m done

I’m done with all this 🤬
The whole year since now it’s been the s*** year that I had in the last 7y since I’m in Uk.
All started since I’ve been bullied, I fixed it, I had problems at home, abroad, i fix them (more or less), I find a solution for my health (for my leg ulcer, thank for I don’t have diabetes and still waiting for a referral to hospital) but again I’ve been bullied.
After their marvellous investigation in which they said is no evidence for being offended, threatened and mocked and after offering a mediation as solution (even tho I said clear that the mediation in not the solution for a lad that have 0 respect for me), the lad haven’t went to mediation.
Now because I ve appealed the decision of the grievance, the lad is back at work.
My mental health went out on the drain.
At 4 this morning, after being told my manager that I need to behave to be respectful with that lad and some other things, like being my fault and my blame bcus he don’t behave, I had a very bad reaction: start crying.
I left the office and went somewhere where no one can see how sissy I am, I had a very bad anxiety attack, one of my colleague which is as well junior team leader come and we’ve talked, I felt like I’m suffocating.
Is not my fault that the lad is behaving badly, I always respected my colleagues even if they don’t deserve it.
Now im home, a bit calmer than work time but is i don’t know how to fix it.
For sure I understand that now they’re investigating again or it should be and if they don’t take any kind of disciplinary actions, he’ll do it again and again till I’ll go.

My mental health went away since last night when I’ve seen it and in the morning after all that start crying and couldn’t stopped, I really don’t know what I’ll do.
I had a break up from my partner yesterday as well because of this job, we’ve been together for 13y.
Im a mess and I know it but I’ll not quit my job for a jerk
#Depression
#Anxiety
#AnxietyAttack

26 reactions 9 comments
Post
See full photo

Changes needs to come

Changes needs to come for me just because I’m too good with everyone and still I get to suffer 😖
Once again I’ve got bullied at work, at least now I’ve reported it and the 3rd time HR have an intervention.
I really don’t know why I’m getting all this angerness from different individuals but I’m starting to get tired.
Last Monday I’ve tried to explain to some lad as per training and common sense some things and he starting lashing at me, offending and threatening me. I’ve done my best to ignore it till the moment his started to mock me, so later on when I finished my night shift I’ve emailed my managers a complaint, just because I shouldn’t be treated like that and mocked, but to be honest most probably if he stopped there to threaten and offending me prolly nothing would be happened but he crossed the limit when he mocked me because I have a strange walk. He was like limping and laughing to his mates, looking at me with hate.
Just because I have this problem with my left foot now and I limp due to the fact if I put to much pressure in it I am in unbearable pain this doesn’t mean that I should be mocked as well.
So next week I’ll have an meeting with hr, need to review my statement and do a new one, all that happened, maybe what happened before as well and try not to loose myself there just because I’ve get emotional and my anxiety goes over the roof.
The difference now is that when I’ll have my meeting, I’ll have to my side my mental health first aider as support (not very helpful maybe due to being one of my team leaders but this it doesn’t matter cus I have nothing to hide, I am an opened book).

To be honest I never thought that I’ll have to go again to the same **** once again, I don’t even think that I had time to heal from previously time properly but I had stopped having anxiety attacks and be less terrified when I’m going to work even if I am really struggling with the stress and anxiety and a bit angerness but look I’m minding my own business, doing my work and try to speak with ppl just when they ask me something but apparently is not good enough even as this.

I know that due to past events at work, now when this happened the result should’ve been for the lad, me going to him and swearing him and beat the crap of it, I think that he imagined when he kept provoking and teasing me all night but I kept my calm.
At least I remember this from my 3 sessions of therapy: when ppl can’t express their frustrations in their life, they pick someone and try their best to do it on others.
Now I’ve heard that he’ll do a complaint against me as well, even tho he started the conflict all 3 times.

Thank you for listening
#Anxiety
#Stress
#Depression
#MentalHealth

12 reactions 4 comments
Post

I need to vent

The lad that used to bully and harass me had last night a conflict with another colleague just this time he almost ended wounded, my colleague just shout, sweared and pushed him.
The conflict started when the first guy couldn’t keep his mouth shut and to mind his own business he needed to go to management and say “look what X (will call the 2nd colleague as this) is doing, he’s ripping the boxes with the hand and he wants to do easier job when he’s repacking them” and after X started to shout, to swear and to push him.
Because one of the team leader was around there I went and told him what happened, the team leader went to office and took the other orange vest.
After statements and cameras watched X got suspended and an investigation was started.

I really don’t know if I’ve done the right thing but it seems that way.
I’m not defending any1 and I always told X to be careful because the bully is reporting us for everything we’re doing but it seemed that I was talking with a wall.

All this shouting, temper and anger, these are triggers for me and the only reason that I stayed a bit chiller was that another colleague, a friend, took me on a walk to have a little chat.

I’m truly sorry for X but I warned him at least 20 times, the same, mind his own business.

#Anxiety
#mental health

13 reactions 2 comments
Post

There once was a lady bug

There once was a Lady bug, who would make people laugh.

The Lady bug, would tell funny stories, to everyone.

One day, the lady bug, was not feeling well.

Oh no, lady bug is not well.

What should we do?

Call the doctor, said a bird.

No, said a dog.

Tell it a joke, said the children.

Yes, said the duck.

Knock knock, said the children.

Lady bug, who was not well, tried to have fun.

She said, in a week voice, who is there?

Bug said the children.

Bug who answered lady bug.

Bug said the children again.

Bug who lady bug said again.

Bug said the children, yet again.

Bug who said lady bug.

Lady bug, that is who, answered the children.

Very funny said lad bug.

The next day, lady bug was her old self, once again.

Lady bug thank the children, with there own collection, of what else lady bugs.

The end.

Post

Living with Depression - A Metaphor

When I was in college, and studying the Pre-Raphaelites, I stumbled upon the Tennyson poem below. It to me brought to life all that I experienced in coping with PTSD and depression. To live a life on the outskirts, stepping in and sharing and enjoying companionship of friends so brightly, yet so costly.

The numbness and dullness of looking "through a glass darkly" (thank you Sylvia Plath) is as living carefully and as gently as possible while not poking the dragon which sleeps beneath the surface. The idea of living and recording all around you while not partaking of it, is so much the way of the one struggling with this disease. Every step into the real world comes as a shard of glass stabbed into your naked toe. To live fully, you must experience all of the pain, just as the splitting of the fin into legs was for the Little Mermaid. I did not know for so many years, that others didn't feel the same intensity or repercussions. The extreme trauma that played out for me was a signal that I was defective, I could not control my emotions, and I was out of line and lacking. The lack of understanding and support, in fact the loneliness and rejection from all around lead back to you and only you, and so the cycle begins, and continues, with no middle or end, it simply is.

The Lady of Shalott (1842)

BY ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON

Part I

On either side the river lie

Long fields of barley and of rye,

That clothe the wold and meet the sky;

And thro' the field the road runs by

To many-tower'd Camelot;

And up and down the people go,

Gazing where the lilies blow

Round an island there below,

The island of Shalott.

Willows whiten, aspens quiver,

Little breezes dusk and shiver

Thro' the wave that runs for ever

By the island in the river

Flowing down to Camelot.

Four gray walls, and four gray towers,

Overlook a space of flowers,

And the silent isle imbowers

The Lady of Shalott.

By the margin, willow veil'd,

Slide the heavy barges trail'd

By slow horses; and unhail'd

The shallop flitteth silken-sail'd

Skimming down to Camelot:

But who hath seen her wave her hand?

Or at the casement seen her stand?

Or is she known in all the land,

The Lady of Shalott?

Only reapers, reaping early

In among the bearded barley,

Hear a song that echoes cheerly

From the river winding clearly,

Down to tower'd Camelot:

And by the moon the reaper weary,

Piling sheaves in uplands airy,

Listening, whispers " 'Tis the fairy

Lady of Shalott."

Part II

There she weaves by night and day

A magic web with colours gay.

She has heard a whisper say,

A curse is on her if she stay

To look down to Camelot.

She knows not what the curse may be,

And so she weaveth steadily,

And little other care hath she,

The Lady of Shalott.

And moving thro' a mirror clear

That hangs before her all the year,

Shadows of the world appear.

There she sees the highway near

Winding down to Camelot:

There the river eddy whirls,

And there the surly village-churls,

And the red cloaks of market girls,

Pass onward from Shalott.

Sometimes a troop of damsels glad,

An abbot on an ambling pad,

Sometimes a curly shepherd-lad,

Or long-hair'd page in crimson clad,

Goes by to tower'd Camelot;

And sometimes thro' the mirror blue

The knights come riding two and two:

She hath no loyal knight and true,

The Lady of Shalott.

But in her web she still delights

To weave the mirror's magic sights,

For often thro' the silent nights

A funeral, with plumes and lights

And music, went to Camelot:

Or when the moon was overhead,

Came two young lovers lately wed:

"I am half sick of shadows," said

The Lady of Shalott.

Part III

A bow-shot from her bower-eaves,

He rode between the barley-sheaves,

The sun came dazzling thro' the leaves,

And flamed upon the brazen greaves

Of bold Sir Lancelot.

A red-cross knight for ever kneel'd

To a lady in his shield,

That sparkled on the yellow field,

Beside remote Shalott.

The gemmy bridle glitter'd free,

Like to some branch of stars we see

Hung in the golden Galaxy.

The bridle bells rang merrily

As he rode down to Camelot:

And from his blazon'd baldric slung

A mighty silver bugle hung,

And as he rode his armour rung,

Beside remote Shalott.

All in the blue unclouded weather

Thick-jewell'd shone the saddle-leather,

The helmet and the helmet-feather

Burn'd like one burning flame together,

As he rode down to Camelot.

As often thro' the purple night,

Below the starry clusters bright,

Some bearded meteor, trailing light,

Moves over still Shalott.

His broad clear brow in sunlight glow'd;

On burnish'd hooves his war-horse trode;

From underneath his helmet flow'd

His coal-black curls as on he rode,

As he rode down to Camelot.

From the bank and from the river

He flash'd into the crystal mirror,

"Tirra lirra," by the river

Sang Sir Lancelot.

She left the web, she left the loom,

She made three paces thro' the room,

She saw the water-lily bloom,

She saw the helmet and the plume,

She look'd down to Camelot.

Out flew the web and floated wide;

The mirror crack'd from side to side;

"The curse is come upon me," cried

The Lady of Shalott.

Part IV

In the stormy east-wind straining,

The pale yellow woods were waning,

The broad stream in his banks complaining,

Heavily the low sky raining

Over tower'd Camelot;

Down she came and found a boat

Beneath a willow left afloat,

And round about the prow she wrote

The Lady of Shalott.

And down the river's dim expanse

Like some bold seër in a trance,

Seeing all his own mischance—

With a glassy countenance

Did she look to Camelot.

And at the closing of the day

She loosed the chain, and down she lay;

The broad stream bore her far away,

The Lady of Shalott.

Lying, robed in snowy white

That loosely flew to left and right—

The leaves upon her falling light—

Thro' the noises of the night

She floated down to Camelot:

And as the boat-head wound along

The willowy hills and fields among,

They heard her singing her last song,

The Lady of Shalott.

Heard a carol, mournful, holy,

Chanted loudly, chanted lowly,

Till her blood was frozen slowly,

And her eyes were darken'd wholly,

Turn'd to tower'd Camelot.

For ere she reach'd upon the tide

The first house by the water-side,

Singing in her song she died,

The Lady of Shalott.

Under tower and balcony,

By garden-wall and gallery,

A gleaming shape she floated by,

Dead-pale between the houses high,

Silent into Camelot.

Out upon the wharfs they came,

Knight and burgher, lord and dame,

And round the prow they read her name,

The Lady of Shalott.

Who is this? and what is here?

And in the lighted palace near

Died the sound of royal cheer;

And they cross'd themselves for fear,

All the knights at Camelot:

But Lancelot mused a little space;

He said, "She has a lovely face;

God in his mercy lend her grace,

The Lady of Shalott."

1 comment
Post
See full photo

My boys & girls are the best

This is my Lad, he’s a velvet rex. He’s just 1 of 11, including 4 brothers from the same litter! He’s the best snuggler when I feel rough, it’s like he knows

13 comments
Post
See full photo

Finishing touches to my bathroom project #Depression #Mindfulness

I’ve chosen the timber for the floors of my repainted bathroom. This weekend I’m going to lay it.

Such a rewarding feeling to see it getting close to being done.

Why invest so much time and energy into a job like this?

This is the part of my home where I can refresh and recharge after a busy day. I’ve decided to prioritise my health and make sure I’m energised. No more burn out for this lad!

I’m taking a good feeling of pride in my work and that fuels my spirit as well.

6 comments