Loneliness

Disclaimer
I used chatgpt for this cause there’s too much and my English writing is not that good please don’t judge this.

I’m a 20-year-old guy. I’m 6’2", people say I’m attractive, and yet — I’ve never been in a relationship. Never had sex. I’m a virgin by choice, but lately, that choice feels more like a curse than something noble.

I didn’t even think about girls for most of my teenage years. I was focused — basketball, gaming, cars, chasing my goals. But then I moved across the world, by myself, to start a new life. And suddenly everything hit. I’ve been here 9 months. No friends. No one close. I lost my dog back home and never got to say goodbye. I’ve been lonely in a way that eats at you slowly.

At first, I was proud to hold onto my values. I believed sex meant something. I wanted my first time to be special — with someone I loved, who chose me just like I chose her. But now? I look around, and all I see is hookup culture, people fucking like it means nothing. Girls I might’ve connected with… already gave that part of themselves away to others who didn’t care. I feel like if I wait for something pure, I’ll be alone forever.

And that thought kills me.

It’s not that I’m ashamed of being a virgin. I’m just deeply afraid that by the time I finally find someone, she’ll already have a past that makes me feel like an afterthought. Like she gave her best to someone else, and I’m just what’s left.

I know that people change. I know pasts don’t define people. I want to believe that. But inside me, there's this gnawing pain — why do I have to fix or accept the damage someone else caused? Why does she get to "grow" after giving herself away to guys who didn’t deserve her… and then I’m supposed to be the one who loves her unconditionally?

I’m not looking for perfection. I’m just tired of feeling like I’m holding onto everything — my body, my values, my heart — for someone who never thought to do the same for me.

I’ve thought about doing what everyone else does — giving up and sleeping around until I’m numb enough to stop caring. Even considered going to a stripper, just to get it over with. But deep down, I know that’s not me. I’d hate myself more. And I’d lose the very thing I’ve protected for so long.

Right now, I’m hurt. I’m lost. I cry a lot. I think too much. I feel like nobody really sees me — not as a person, not as someone who could be worth everything.

I’m not writing this for pity. I’m writing this because I need to be heard. I need to believe that someone out there understands — that maybe, just maybe, there’s a girl who’s waited too. Who still believes in real love. Who sees men like me as more than an option they settle for when they’re done having fun.

If that girl exists, I hope she finds me.
Because I’ve been waiting. For her.
And I don’t know how much longer I can wait before I stop believing.

Hi, my name is Zecha. I'm here because i feel lonely specially during my depression and suicidal ideation.

#MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD

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Hey, I’m Alyssa.

I’m 21, and I’ve been through some straight-up hell.

A couple years ago, I was trapped in a nightmare—captivity and a robbery that tore my world apart. It’s the kind of trauma that sticks to your bones and messes with your head every damn day. It happened to me and my mother so that only adds to the trauma.

Right now, I’m stuck in the middle of a court case that’s dredging all that up again. It’s brutal. Some days, I’m angry as hell. Other days, I’m so exhausted I can barely get out of bed. And sometimes, I spiral into places I don’t want to go.

I’ve also had to be the rock for people around me, even when I’m breaking inside. It’s fucked up and unfair, but here I am.

I’m putting this out there because I need to find others who get how dark and lonely this fight can feel. I want to know how you survive the moments when the past grabs hold tight and won’t let go. How do you keep going when the legal stuff and all the memories hit you like a punch in the gut?

If you’re here, if you’ve been through hell too, I want to hear from you. Because right now, just knowing I’m not alone feels like the only thing keeping me from completely losing it truly😔

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Hey, I’m Alyssa.

I’m 21, and I’ve been through some straight-up hell.

A couple years ago, I was trapped in a nightmare—captivity and a robbery that tore my world apart. It’s the kind of trauma that sticks to your bones and messes with your head every damn day.

Right now, I’m stuck in the middle of a court case that’s dredging all that up again. It’s brutal. Some days, I’m angry as hell. Other days, I’m so exhausted I can barely get out of bed. And sometimes, I spiral into places I don’t want to go.

I’ve also had to be the rock for people around me, even when I’m breaking inside. It’s fucked up and unfair, but here I am.

I’m putting this out there because I need to find others who get how dark and lonely this fight can feel. I want to know how you survive the moments when the past grabs hold tight and won’t let go. How do you keep going when the legal stuff and all the memories hit you like a punch in the gut?

If you’re here, if you’ve been through hell too, I want to hear from you. Because right now, just knowing I’m not alone feels like the only thing keeping me from completely losing it. #Newfriends

In the shadowed recesses of existence, where the faintest light barely penetrates, there resides a realm of unending torment. Each breath resonates as a whisper of agony, each heartbeat an inexorable reminder of the relentless affliction that courses through the veins. The body, once a vessel of life and vitality, now endures as a prison of suffering, where every movement is a harrowing struggle, and every moment a protracted battle.

In this desolate landscape, the soul longs for release, for the sweet embrace of oblivion. The promise of an end to the ceaseless torment, a final escape from the chains that bind, looms tantalizingly near. It is a seductive allure, a siren's song that beckons with the promise of peace and rest.

Among strangers, there is an echo of empathy, a fleeting sense of being heard. Yet, within the familiar, there is only silence, and the deafening absence of understanding. It is in this stark contrast that the loneliness festers, a deep-seated sense of worthlessness that gnaws at the spirit.

In the absence of solace, there is only the unyielding reality of existence. The human spirit, trapped within the confines of torment, fights against the tide of despair. Even in the depths of suffering, there exists a quiet resilience, a testament to the indomitable nature of the soul.

And so, with a resigned sigh, the journey continues, through the valleys of pain, ever onward, ever striving. For in the end, it is not the suffering that defines us, but the courage to face it, the strength to endure, and the hope that, one day, there will be peace.

I wrote this poem during a moment of emotional exhaustion—when I felt invisible in my pain. I was hurting, but the people around me just watched. Sharing this is part of my healing, and maybe it will help someone else feel less alone too.

And You Watch

by Maria Davis

I carry despair and pain,

Wasted energy—

And you watch.

I walk in anger and loneliness,

And you watch.

I move through the day,

Waiting to be rescued—

And still, you watch.

I search the waters,

Hoping they’ve gone down,

But find only the lies of life—

And you watch.

Always watching,

Waiting for my next move.

Even when I slip

Into a place beyond repair—

You watch.

#mental health #Healing #Depression #emotional pain

#Anxiety #invisibl illness #Loneliness #truama