Loneliness

40 years ago I was a professional ballet dancer I just found an old grainy recording of a performance I was in on YouTube called “ zodiaque” with Lewis London ballet. Things were so amazing especially with my partner who has died I had a breakdown first of many … I feel so pathetic but I left ballet behind and tried to live a normal life. I miss it so much and miss Amanda so much. I just started to cry and haven’t cried in years. Every time I feel I have a handle on life something hits me square in the chest. A few years ago I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder amongst other things and am on so much medication I don’t know where I’m at sometimes. Loneliness and memories are slowly killing me. I feel isolated and like I don’t fit it anywhere.
I’m happy that this forum is available to share this kind of stuff. The pain probably more mental than physical is so overwhelming everyone I loved had died and left me at times it’s so unbearable I often feel like ending it. I think google is sick of me looking up ways .
My dog “ lily” died 3 years ago and I’m truly heartbroken.
I live on a boat in the uk and am struggling with health and maintenance of it.
I guess you could attach the same comment to me too.
I posted this message to reach out and hope that maybe this helps someone. To carry on there maybe something really positive ahead.

In relationships, I’ve been told many times that I check off all the boxes (kind, compassionate, family-oriented, loyal, and so on). But the one box they never wanted in their life was chronic illness.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. I feel like the world we live in needs to understand that literally anyone can develop a chronic illness at any point in their life.

For me, my chronic illnesses started showing up in childhood. So, in some ways, I’ve had a lot of time to learn how to cope, adapt, and figure out what life looks like for me and of course I’m still working on it.

But I don’t think people always understand that chronic illness isn’t something that only happens to certain people. Mental health conditions can appear at any point in someone’s life. Accidents happen. Injuries happen. Illnesses happen. Bodies change. Life changes. Someone can wake up one day and suddenly find themselves navigating a reality they never imagined for themselves.

Not all chronic illnesses are the same, but the emotions that come with receiving a diagnosis and knowing it’s lifelong can be surprisingly similar: grief, fear, anger, uncertainty, loneliness, and the feeling that you have somehow become a burden to the people around you.

But you are not a burden.

You and your chronic illness are not baggage.

Your chronic illness is a bouquet you get to carry every day. Sometimes we carry it gracefully. Sometimes our flowers are blooming. Sometimes they’re wilting, and we’re just trying to make it through the day.

And when they wilt, we don’t throw the bouquet away. We refresh the water. We tend to the flowers. We give ourselves the care we need and try again tomorrow.

Your chronic illness does not make you less worthy of love. It does not make you less deserving of a relationship, a career, friendships, adventures, or a beautiful life.

It is a part of your story, but it is not the entirety of who you are.

And maybe, with time, we can stop seeing chronic illness as baggage someone else has to carry and start seeing it for what it really is: a bouquet we’ve learned how to carry.

Sometimes with grace. Sometimes with both hands. Sometimes with a little help from a friend.

But we carry it.

#MentalHealth #Depression #Fibromyalgia #Lupus #Uveitis #Blindness #Glaucoma #ChronicPain #Anxiety #AnkylosingSpondylitis #Arthritis #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #HashimotosThyroiditis

Hi I'm going through a difficult period with my mental and physical health. I'm realizing how lonely and unsupported I am. I don't have family. I have friends but they are busy with their own lives. It would be great to be part of a support network that checks in on each other daily and that cares.

Pauley is out with her mom doing I don't know but I told her not to fight with her. I asked her to stop by the grocery store for some almond milk. I tried eating lunch but my tummy said no. So I'm sipping on some protein coffee and listening to music. Unfortunately my tummy is properly fucked and the pain is at 8. I took my tummy pills but they clearly didn't work. I want to claw my skin off.Pqcqqn aa

Hi, my name is Jcjones26. I'm here because I’m worried, sad, angry, exhausted, stumped, ashamed, lonely, desperate and trying really hard to have a functioning family, when one child’s needs are totally overwhelming all of us.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #Grief

Hello. I’ve been living with OCD for 10 years and I have social anxiety; I’ve come here to socialise and overcome my loneliness. We can help one another, and I think that’s a lovely thing 😊.

Tbh i gave up on my life 3 yrs ago. I was still striving to live back then. I had a little bit of wants and desires left in me. All my life I just wanted to just fall in love and get married to that person.
I never really got a chance to live my life by my own free will. Whatever decision I took or even thunk of has always been judged or rediculed. Ultimately, I just had to live by the choices made by my mom. I am 27, I thought I would have married to the love of my life and had kids by now. But no, I have close to zero autonomy and I am not even made to feel like a complete adult.
I have no desire or will to live. Nothing in life is making me feel happy or content. It feels like I have completely lost myself. The only time that I ever truly lived was when I was in Bachelors, first, second and third year. The last year everyone did college from home due to covid. Covid took that away from me as well. Since then gradually I became like this. Yes, I did go to the same college for masters, but things weren't tge same. I skilled up but I lost my dream, creativity and passion.
Not a single thing, good enough to wake up to. Just numbness and loneliness. I feel so horrible about myself I self isolate. I don't like meeting people of my age or younger or financially poorer, living a more loving and fulfiling life than me. I wanted to colour my hair, get tattoos, dress uniquely, date people, get married for love, have a career I love, make money to live my life however I want. But now I have 0 desire to make money for luxuries, I only make money for my survival. I don't even have any desire to prove my worth. I am so deeply broken that my emotions are not even working properly. I at least used to feel sad and cry when I was younger. Now, I am writing this with a poker straight face with a heavy heart and pain in the back of my throat at 4:35 am on 27th Aug '26. I couldn't sleep the whole, I am lying on my bed, tried sleeping the whole night but couldn't. I have cried myself to sleep since my childhood days. But now that also feels like a big task.
Hoping for a better life. I just have myself, no one or nothing worth living for currently.