Why I Had to Stop Being a Living Crutch for Everyone Else
Last night, I was relaxing and reading Keke Palmer’s Master of Me when a single page of words stopped me completely. It forced me to look back at the way I used to operate, revealing a harsh truth about how I handled my own history.
For as long as I can remember, I have journeyed through this life as a survivor of intense trauma. Because of those early experiences, I developed a deep urge to alleviate pain for everyone around me. I tried to make their lives easier by absorbing their burdens, genuinely believing it was my calling to be a saving grace for the people in my circle. I acted as a shield against the uncomfortable suffering that naturally comes with life.But in doing all of this, I completely neglected myself.
Because I operated this way for my entire life, the people around me came to expect it. That was simply what they were used to. I was always the reliable one, the sacrificial one, the one who would travel to the ends of the world just to be there. For years, I mistakenly dubbed this self-sacrifice as my life's purpose.
At the end of last year, something shifted.
My eyes opened to a reality I had been avoiding:
I was pouring entirely into others and leaving absolutely nothing for myself.
I was sacrificing the personal and professional opportunities that could happen if I chose to implement that exact same energy into my own healing and my own goals.
To grow, I had to detach myself from the fantasy that I was truly loved and appreciated for the sacrifices I made. I had to face the reality that a lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
So, I started setting strict boundaries.Navigating this new life and this profound shift in purpose has been a lonely process.
Choosing to stop being a living crutch for people is uncomfortable. However, I realized that by constantly rescuing the people in my life, I was actually getting in the way of their growth while completely neglecting my own chance of elevating, designing, and becoming.
I had to choose to allow them to find their own strength and be their own survivors.The moment I finally stepped back and chose myself, my world expanded. I returned to college with full focus, found my true niche within my wellness practice, and built a creative brand that is now expanding into international workshop programming.
Now, I am finally seeing life from a living, inspirational perspective. Surviving trauma taught me how to advocate for myself, but setting boundaries taught me how to live. You cannot design a beautiful life if you are constantly anchoring yourself to everyone else's storms.
Stop playing small just to keep your circle comfortable. You have to learn to be your own support system first.






