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Bad Decisions

There are times where I feel like I make some really #baddecisions and it becomes a major #challenge for me to handle #BipolarDisorder symptoms. I thought about how things have been, and how I have struggled.

My husband has been supportive of me since 2009, but when he said the other day that he felt more like a #Caregiver than a husband, I felt #sick inside. I became very #emotional and wondered why I could not shake the feelings off. I felt hurt, because through sickness and #Health we are supposed to be a support for one another.

Lately I have reached a peak of my sexuality, and my husband is disinterested. I have thought about finding a #Boyfriend or a #Girlfriend to spend intimate time with. I felt terrible about it. My husband told me that it was OK to do it, as long as he didn't know about it and not bring them to my home.

It made me wonder... Does he even really care? Or does he care so much about my feelings that he would rather me be #satisfied than #deprived ? I do not know.

What are your #Thoughts about this one?

#Bipolar #MentalHealth #feelingconfused #Anxiety #Depression #INeedAnswers

3 reactions 1 comment

BIG Feelings

I think I'm highly sensitive and feel very deeply. I have hurt feelings very easily. I'm frequently deeply sad, regretful and can cry easily. I need help managing this

#emotional #HSP #hypersensitive #CPTSD #Sadness #dysregulation

2 reactions 4 comments

What I am learning from Bi Polar and Post Traumatic Recovery

Wow, up til 1 am or 2 am, refereeing exhuberant or extremely volatile arguments is not cool, leave an argument, unless the argument corners you in your room, it hurts, can't think that someone else who is good looking would have to recover from Bipolar, must be hard, realistically I don't think I have psych outbursts unless triggered by someone's violence, shredding my newest dress, yelling uncontrollably at my kid, my kid leaving at 1 30 am alone walking the street, my kid having outbursts and a change in personality since Dec 27th 2023, my kid and husband erasing numbers of family and friends, being beach slapped due to lies of a neighbour I never met but spoke with only once or twice on phone, bullying, enduring and SI, and no financial ability to move, and difficulties with transportation, trust, and abuse to visit family, if is not Bipolar, it's Bullying, I'm in EA #emotional Abuse Survivors, #BipolarDisorder , #AbuseSurvivors , #abuse,domestic #si #s


#emotional Abuse , #Family Dysfunction, #estranged Children, #Family Scapegoat, #I dont matter, #inconsequential ,

Hello Fellow Mighty's
Im very tired & should prob go to bed- but i need to talk, & the Mighty is presently the only one listening.
Long story Im too tired to explain- but Im the youngest of six- & we are all in our 50's, 60's & 70's now with one sister passed.
A long standing theme in my family is that No Matter what happens to, or people do to me- I shouldnt complain, because me & my feelings, my entire self is not worthy of consideration. I dont matter. Further more- If other ppl are A**holes to me, somehow thats my fault too.
& at 57, I got roped in one more time- "we love you"- only to be humiliated, discounted & blamed again. And of course, Im just taking things wrong. I Am the Problem. Everyone else is blameless. The Only Acceptable Role for me in this family is As the Doormat. & I oughtta be Grateful to be so.

Im mad at myself for wanting that family love so much- that I allowed myself to get hurt again.

Im really struggling tonight. Any helpful words appreciated. Hope everybody reading this had a better day than not. 💕

5 reactions 3 comments

Food for thought!

Some know my history (somewhat) and some might not. I wanted to share something I believed going into the rehabilitation center; for drug abuse and domestic violence, that we as humans can change our way of thinking by ; "rewiring our brains "! Example: drug addiction, avoiding people, places and things that remind us of our using days. Essentially you're rebuilding new positive habits. Which also means, we are changing the way we think, "rewiring our brains ". As far as my C-PTSD, I had to face my triggers in a safe environment with people I trust. This over time reprograms my brain to see that; my head being touched doesn't necessarily represent danger or future trauma. Essentially, replacing memories of bad touch with memories of good touch. But again, I had to rewire the way I looked at many many different areas of my life. My Motto now is: "Come What May". Either way I refuse to allow stress come back into my life. Whatever is coming my way whether appointments, family, or financial issues, I refuse to stress over it. It's going to happen anyway so I don't need to add and negative emotions into the mix. All that would cause is for me to; allow my mental health be impacted, cause headaches, blood pressure elevated. All things I avoid. My toxic abusive relationship with my ex was 14 months long. I fell in love with the lies he told. It took me a long time to see that it wasn't truly the man I was in love with. By the time I realized I needed to get away before one day he killed me, it was to late. He suspected something and never left me alone. I also believe there is a silver lining in every situation we just have to be patient to be shown what it is. My silver lining is that; I am a survivor and in being one have been able to heal enough were I can share my story and help others just beginning their healing journey. Also, that relationship taught me what I honestly value in my life, and What I will no longer tolerate. Example: my daughter has always been sort of toxic in the way she talks to or acts towards me. But also, I've always been her best friend and I've supported her in her life choices. She also gave birth to my three grandsons. But recently, I've had to place her out of my life because of her toxicity towards me. Yes it's causing added depression but I remind myself that with her gone, missing her and grandsons are less overall stress than having them in my life.

Sorry, if I've gotten off track. I probably have cause I forgot where I was going. But as our biggest advocate for ourselves, we need to take the steps that is "Best" for us and not just going along to keep the peace! Document any symptoms new or old and keep notes so we can actually show doctors what we are struggling to remember or put in words. If we don't feel a certain doctor isn't helping, we have the right for a second opinion or to find a different doctor. Asking around for recommendations. Find several hobbies; trust me, I need several cause my body reacts differently to different activities. So I have to switch them up periodically.

May everyone reading this have God's Devine blessings and be able to accept what life has given you. Embrace it, learn from it so you too can share "your life experiences " with others

#EhlersDanlosSociety #Life with C-PTSD #mighty Art Room #lift Me Up #Chat Space# Distract Me #RapeSurvivors #MentalHealth #Conquor Your Mind #emotional Abuse Survivor #no Shame

8 reactions 3 comments
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The Lost Locket Story

Sophie loved nothing more than spending time outside, exploring the woods near her house. She would often spend hours wandering through the trees, admiring the beauty of nature and the peace it brought her. One day, while on her latest adventure, Sophie stumbled upon an old locket lying on the ground. She picked it up and examined it closely, intrigued by its delicate design and the intricate patterns etched onto its surface.

Sophie decided to keep the locket and wore it around her neck every day. But as she began to wear the locket, strange things started to happen. She started having vivid dreams and saw flashes of an unfamiliar world. She couldn't explain the strange visions, but she knew they were connected to the locket.

Determined to uncover the mystery behind the locket, Sophie set out on a magical journey of discovery and self-discovery. She consulted with local experts and pored over old books and maps, trying to decipher the locket's secrets. Her quest led her to a hidden portal deep in the woods, which transported her to a fantastical realm filled with wonders beyond her wildest dreams.

As Sophie explored this new world, she encountered all kinds of strange creatures and met new friends along the way. She soon discovered that the locket was a powerful talisman that could transport her between worlds and grant her incredible abilities. But she also learned that with great power came great responsibility, and she struggled to balance her newfound abilities with her desire to protect those she loved.

In the end, Sophie faced her greatest challenge yet when she was forced to confront an evil sorcerer who sought to use the power of the locket for his own gain. With the help of her friends, Sophie was able to defeat the sorcerer and save the day. But she knew that her journey was far from over, and that there was still so much to explore and discover in the world beyond.

As Sophie returned to her own world, she looked down at the locket around her neck, and knew that it would always be a symbol of her adventures and the incredible journey she had taken. She felt grateful for the experiences she had had and knew that she would always be connected to the magical world she had discovered.

The end.

www.astrokabir.in/%3Ctopic%20id= " originalText="https://www.astrokabir.in/ "> #thelostlocket #emotional #Viral


Do you forgive?

Whoever hurt you do you forgive them,I do but that's just there I don't know the Average and would like to figure it out.so do you forgive whoever or not!(no judgement I fully understand both sides of the answer have an awesome day and know you're not alone!) #ChildhoodAbuse #SexualAbuse #emotional abuse #physicalabuse

16 reactions 9 comments

Why I dont leave

#emotional abuse survivors, #Abuse
I have instilled 16 to 18 years of every waking essence of myself into this marriage, this house is all I've known for 8 years, I just paid rent, I don't have economics to move, I love my chores and life style, I love my daughter, I'm sincerely more scared of the outside world than the devil I know, I've lived with it for a long time, I believe I can fix it, I give my vow every night, I've never cheated with my body, sometimes I delude myself into thinking he's faithful, he supports the house, he cares for my elderly, I enjoy my dogs, backyard and him, I think he'll take me somewhere one day, maybe we will dance again on this Harvest moon one day, I would die if I wasn't with him due to broken heart, I trust blindly, I love

1 reaction

Extreme Abuse again

#emotional Abuse Survivors #Abuse
So I meet husband of 16 years at the door with scone muffins and hot tea, and have a candle burning, he screams for a good two hours about how the candle has fumigated the house, I threw it out, listen to his exclamations, let it effect my mental health, wait while he waits in car, plead with him, that it is just the smell of scones, cry, get suicidal, and 2 hours later crouch onto his shoulder after thinking that my life was over either by murder or suicide

1 reaction

Ugly name

The ugliest name and image I can think of is my extended family, as they have let my mother die to abuse, my father be locked in for 2 weeks at a time due to abuse, my life almost be taken due to abuse, my daughter's personality to change due to abuse, and my man to get away with abuse for 15 to 17 years, and especially 8 years since I've seen them, except for 5 minutes at mom's funeral and previously to this post I had no hard feelings, #Abuse , #emotional Abuse Survivors #Suicide #abandonment #Care giving #Parenting #marital abuse #Incarceration #elder abuse #Suicide due to abuse

1 reaction