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Bipolar 1 with hallucinations?

#BipolarDisorder #biploar1 #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Hallucinations #CheckInWithMe
I am wondering if anyone else on the Mighty experiences auditory or visual hallucinations? Please tell me about your experience so I know I'm not alone. I hear music and have been seeing shadows that I know aren't really there. But it feels so real when it's happening. Thank you so much. 💕

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Confusion all the time.

My schizophrenia is not really scary like paraniod schizophrenia. Its just i see the world differently, too far away from reaity.

i don't have visual hallucinations only auditory. But I have visual hallucinations when I was first diagnosed.

It feels like my delusions mimics reality.

Like when it was still 1st December that I heard about pets at risk of dying during fireworks and intense noise during welcoming a new year. I felt worried and I believed that my dogs will definitely die. I saw it in my mind they are dropping dead.

Voices keep telling me to tell the people around you not do noisy things and force the if I have to. They tell me hurtful things like you are a worthless owner, that it will always be my fault if my dogs die.

But I have this feeling that this is something wrong.

You may say that I have the advantage because I am a bit aware during delusions.

But it is the opposite.

I was so confused. Is this real or not?

It is the worst battle ever.

It's so exhausting. I think this is not a delusion but suddenly I think it is a delusion.

My mind then started to be fragmented and during that anomaly my brain suddenly put another "story plot" that causes another rabbit holes of delusions then produce another confusion.

And then when I shared it with my mother suddenly I snapped back to reality.

I realized that my dogs will gonna be okay. I look back and saw how exaggerated that delusion is about my dogs death. I was too far away from reality.......

Then back to the rabbit hole of delusions and end up confused again.

#Schizophrenia #MentalIllness #Delusions #distortedreality #Hallucinations #OCD

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Update

Update: It hurts my heart and soul so much that I am not worth the help, trouble or time to my 'doctors'.

My Rheumatologist told me he couldn't help me. He suggested i find a new doctor. This after I spent a year trying to hold out like my parents wanted in hope that he was a good doctor in the long run-but my base instinct was correct in that he would only bring me harm.

He put me on this medicine that he didn't know would help but it did for two ish weeks and then it stopped working. I told him I could see the bad effects it brought, more pain like holes drilled all in me, significant hair loss-I now have half of the hair I use to( a whole new traumatic experience that I had never wanted to go through, and yes I am on vitamins to lessen those effects. I imagine I would be hairless without them), swelling even more than I already am, painfully in my hands and face. I have lost a Lot of my muscle strength and not just because I am bed-bound, even more exhausted beyond belief. If I walk around my room once I am exhausted and starting to blackout, a few other problems and the worst side effect of them all: SEVERE SCARY Hallucination!!

Needless to say I have not been helped and only added to by my MANY doctor visits here. The real concern is that they think I am just a bad patient when I just don't have doctors who want to stick it out and help me and that is the worst thing in the whole world that I can't really explain. It is like a vital part of life that everyone else gets lovely access and help with, you start off with the worst ones that add trouble and debt with their crazy costs and if they don't help you, they still get to keep your money while you are left with the severe hurt and pain.

I told this doctor a month and 2wks ago that I wanted OFF this medicine and I needed an appointment to get that but he refused and instead told me to increase the medicine 35%!

I decided that forget him I was going to try to go off it on my own. The only one who has gotten me off medicine safely with no side effects was me. I know best how to do it after all these years, how nuts is that to realize??
So I tried going off it and the pain was UNBELIEVABLE! My hands were without any use whatsoever. I couldn't move and my body wouldn't work at all.

My appointment with the Rheumatologist on Tuesday said he couldn't help anymore when the fact of the matter was a fellow doctor asked about my full body psoriasis and despite him telling me last time he didn't care to look at my full body rashes at their worst, he now cared when we finally had gotten things slightly calmed. He scoffed at our explanations and thanks to my severe horrible memory issues that no doctor will help me with, I had left my phone with pictures of my rashes at its worst, at home! So we couldn't prove the troubles not that he was in the mood to listen of course. *sigh* It hurts my heart and soul so much that I am not worth the help. They don't see me as worth the trouble and time.

The reality was that this doctor just didn't care enough to work hard to help me. And I wasted a whole year on him to prove to my parents that he was a bad doctor like I warned them after a first meeting with him. Now I am on this medication that he put me on. That is a weekly medicine so it will take me at LEAST a month and a half to safely go off this medicine and by then who knows what I will have had to go through. I am so scared and in pain too of course.

When he told me he wasn't going to be my doctor anymore he told me I could just go off this medicine cold turkey that caused me to lose half my hair, break out in full body painful itchy red rashes for the past few months, swelling body, SEVERE awful hallucinations 24/7 extra pain, blurry vision, so much more exhaustion that I can barely change clothes with help every three days and that is it. He has never listened to my side effects before and I of course knew he was wrong as he hasn't understood my meds even up til now(The pharmacist I talked to verified I was right in tapering off so score for me! ;) ), 🤦‍♀️

The beginning of going off these horrific meds starts today. I am SO SO SO not ready for more scary hallucinations. I am sure my parents aren't ready either.

oh my gosh I am just so tired and angry at all doctors here. none of them are helping me and just causing more issues I have to deal with on my own. I comfort myself that I called him out on his nonsense the last 3 appointments. lol that was so very satisfying. I may look young but I have been around the medical block all my life. I like to think I would make a semi decent doctor too! 😁😁😉 Heaven knows I would NEVER abandon my patients or make them take a drug that gave them horrible side effects. Effects that made them seek out a therapist and made others think they were crazy! I would actually listen to them and take note of each change they mentioned as I would recognize that they know their body better than I do.

Oh my heart. Dear friends I am so very lost and hurt and hurting. It has been such a horrific 6 months. But onward we must go because the more awful things get, the better they can become. Please let the good finally find me soon. I am SOOO Beyond ready!!!

#AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #bedbound #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #CheerMeOn #ChronicIllness #Depression #Disability #DistractMe #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #Grief #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Insomnia #Lupus #Lymphedema #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #PTSD #Psoriasis #MightyTogether #MentalHealth #Migraine #MemoryLoss #Hallucinations #HairLoss

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Advice on Hallucinations to Sufferers

Part 1 of 2 One can experience hallucinations for many reasons. From PTSD, to #Schizophrenia, to taking hallucinogens, or even just randomly throughout the day, one can hear unwanted and unreal voices and sounds, have tastes of food not eaten, smell odd odors, feel others touching them when no one is there, see things, or even feel presences around them.

For the first thing, it helps to note down characteristics and details of a hallucination, even naming them under what class of hallucination they are. Give them human names or give them silly names, and write down how they bother you, what their characteristics are, and how you have found relief against them.

For #Hallucinations, in my case most common is hearing detailed voices, one thing I’ve found that helps me is finding out what each voice wants, because they’re not all the same. I found the voice of “John” wants to command me, to quote, “ruin my life.” He’s very manipulative, but I’ve got a good handle on him. To use John as an example, he’s very narcissistic and likes to be talked about. So to note his details, he’s commanding and narcissistic, and to make him talk less I don’t give him what he wants. I disobey his commands, in whatever roundabout way he tries to command me.

For those very audible hallucinations, like someone calling your name, they want to be noticed. They want you to specifically go somewhere and look for them. They’re kind of like willowisps. Use reason to differentiate if they’re real, like the voice of that person can’t be there because I know they’re somewhere else, and if you have to, just ignore them. You don’t have to answer every beck and call. The best way to get rid of auditory hallucinations is to hear actual sound, like talking to someone or listening to music.

Tactile, or bodily, hallucinations are very unpleasant to me. I hate that someone is touching me that I can’t push away. This hallucination could be suggestive, like, BLINK. You might have noticed yourself blinking, or are doing so now. This is slightly like a tactile hallucination, like other hallucinations or even beliefs making you think you are being touched, then you notice a feeling in your body of being touched. Other times this is completely hallucination, like someone tapping your shoulder. The best relief to this is to move your body, and completely take over all feelings in your body by being mindful of how your body is situated. Notice every little thing about it, to your very breathing, and you will regain control.

Olfactory and gustatory hallucinations, smell and taste hallucinations, can be lumped up together. Ever eat a spoonful of salt thinking it’s sugar? The salt will taste sweet, for only a second. This in fact is a hallucination of taste. I have had these sorts of hallucinations even when I was not eating or drinking, taste of something sweet on my tongue, or something rancid in the air. What I do for this is drink water, something neutral. Taste the water, because it doesn’t have much of a taste. Smell the air. Breathe in and out. The hallucinations of these types will go away eventually if overpowered by real sensory stimuli.

Visual hallucinations, or hallucinations of sight, are the worst for me, my least favorite of all. Seeing something so vivid, sometimes almost imagined, other times flashes, or in the dark and just… there, can be terrifying. It instantly roots most of the other hallucinations to the person, creature, or object seen. I usually never have visual hallucinations thankfully, but every time I have it has scared the shit out of me. Monsters in the dark telling me, “Thanks for letting me in your room.” or hallucinated dicks floating around me, or even strange sexual patterns moving and changing around me, can all be absolute hell. The best way to get out of this hallucination is be in the light. You will notice you hallucinate, like dream, more in the dark, so turn on a light and calm down if this happens to you.

Feeling presences around you can be very scary, and I’m not sure what to categorize this hallucination as. Sometimes the other hallucinations will be coming from a specific spot, and that spot will move of its own free will. Sometimes it just feels like someone is there, right behind you, or in the closet. This is a hallucination, because when you check you will definitely notice nothing there. This sort of hallucination, as most hallucinations do, plays on fear and paranoia. Distract yourself from the monsters under your bed, and grow accustomed to what is normal to be there. If you need to, leave the presence somewhere and just go outside for a second. Most of the time it will not have

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Advice on Hallucinations to Sufferers

Part 2 of 2 followed you.

I have certain pleasant hallucinations too. My fictional characters jumping into my body and “being” me, and it feels like they’re very close to me and around me, which can be enjoyable. When certain other characters, like malicious villains, do this it is very annoying and intrusive. Think of it like this, imagine what are you doing right now, then someone else is doing the same thing and looking out of your eyes. I found it helps to visualize myself again and also split the characters up. Like good and bad traited qualities of them and then discarding the unwanted. I prefer having no hallucinations, but just note that some hallucinations can be pleasant.

I am a sufferer of #Schizophrenia and have hallucinated in many, many ways. My medication keeps a handle on most #Hallucinations, and I love that I can be one with reality again. Please ask if you have any questions at all about hallucinations, my illness, or even just my books or myself.

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Presume it one. Presume it the other.

So, like Lyndsay Wagner in the Bionic Woman I have a remarkably attuned sense of hearing that can pick up frequencies that others can’t, catching voices upon the wind even though they are some distance from me. This being so, oh how I am loathed! I wonder why anyone could have the inclination or the time to trip around someone else’s life, picking it apart so meticulously. It’s deeply disturbing to accept the notion, that I have no true sense of privacy because people who are completely alien to me and are hell bent on my downfall have ravaged through it and ripped it to shreds.

Or, my lucid imagination repeatedly sparks into creative overdrive bringing me a most unwelcome manifestation. Of course I’ve know such a thing for most of my life, although nothing as complicated as this - one voice after another with yet more and more still, all engaged in detailed conversation regarding me, all much to the negative I must add. Why my brain would play such torturous trickery upon me is a mystery.

They’re real! They can’t possibly be! No, they are, and the threat is real. Shhh, all you need fear is your own shadow.

I don’t know. I simply don’t know! #schizoaffective #Voices #Hallucinations #Reality

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Tactile hallucinations

Anyone feel anything besides bugs? I’ve never felt bugs crawling on me. I feel things like burning, stinging like cuts, sometimes pins… nothing good and always going up a scale towards painful. It’s happening now and I don’t know how to make it stop, although I know my brain is causing this.
#tactilehallucinations #Hallucinations

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My Best Friend is Struggling

I need advice. I’m dealing with my own problems from my own diagnosises but my best friend has been going through something very familiar to me. I think she’s having a psychotic episode. She believes she’s got 7 reapers watching over her, she believes she’s been marked by death and she’s being influenced by another person who’s making her views on reality change. He’s made her believe he’s a new step in for the original Death. There’s A LOT more to this that I can’t type out but I need to know how to help her. She’s states away dealing with this on her own and I just want what’s best for her and this isn’t it. Whether she thinks it is or not. I’ve dealt with psychosis before myself but I’ve never had to help someone else with it. (side note: I’ve asked if she will see someone to get help but apparently the hallucinations don’t want her to get tested?) #Psychosis #Hallucinations #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Mania

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