Mania

Well, I did it again. Over shared. Is this anxiety?? Or mania? Or just plain lack of control ? I think anxiety- but could maybe be mania.

On fb my husband’s boss posted a picture of her 2 kids- saying they were her valentines 💘-
I liked the main picture. That wasn’t enough I went and liked each individual picture too ! There were about 5 or 6 pictures.

Granted: not the end of the world. But coupled w my post on the app in my area - where my husband’s boss lives too- it is quite excessive. On both counts. Oh no. Let it go.

Live and learn- I made a audience selection for future posts to exclude my husband’s boss. This doesn’t do anything for the app where I posted re a recent issue re a celebrity-

Working on letting both of these instances go. It takes a little time—
Hope you can bare w me in the event I may bring each or both of these instances up again- 🙁😟😔

Working on letting these instances go and staying off both fb and the app in my area for now.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

Worked today. Had a difficult time as usual. Hard. Not as hard as it could be but for 73 soon to be 74 - w no children - seems to be not necessary-
But you know- when I come home i feel really good. I feel like i accomplished something. And this individual i work for is extremely wonderful.. so, hard to beat.

And btw- it was my therapist who encouraged me to drop the idea of me trying to negotiate a raise- I went w her opinion-
And today/ i think I was wrong- i should have negotiated/ I go to the library on my own time for this job- and I use my own funds to purchase supplies for this individual- i definitely should have negotiated-

Maybe that stint I did on that celebrity- TS- helped me to realize. - not to doubt myself.
Next time- if there is a next time-/

I was recently diagnosed with cyclothymia and I had no idea what that was. A rare form of bipolar, but not as extreme. So, I have ADHD, mild anxiety and now cyclothymia.

I was recently diagnosed with cyclothymia and I had no idea what that was. A rare form of bipolar, but not as extreme. So, I have ADHD, mild anxiety and now cyclothymia.

I have anxiety so bad that i have to take medication for paranoia. I guess i don’t have to but to stay w my psychiatrist i do. She also prescribes anxiety medication.

I did something unlike me. I think I may have been a little overly excited- maybe one would say: manic. Maybe - not horrible- manic

But I posted on a very public website “ I am upset Taylor Swift got booed at the Super Bowl. She is the epitome of everything good.”

And I got a lot of negativity-not at first-

But then I said” for someone who is a big of a contributor and as good as a role model as Taylor swift is for women young and old : wives, sisters and daughters to be booed - is Wow!

And I got a lot of negativity

_after I said the second part-some one said they were a bunch of people drunk and having fun watching the Game- they would have booed Santa Clause- why are you so upset?

Then I responded-
I’m ok. I think it sad. And I think Taylor Swift is remarkable.

Then a said- a bad commentary

Then a said- a sad commentary-
Only 2 people hearted my comment re some who is such. A contributor-… Wow-

And only one person hearted that I was ok.

I realize after this - a few people in the general public care/. The people who care are youe family and friends-and hopefully a site like this.

I have issues w paranoia -bc i have a hard time interpreting things. I am afraid- that I come off being a sounding/ looney- emotional-

I called my friend- I asked her how it sounded/ she was not much help-

I think I am ok now- I painted a little-

But do you think what I said sounded emotional? Or too emotional-borderline-crazy?

I am certainly not bragging- but my life is good-now. For how long- I do not know.

One thing I do know my life has been s$$t much when I was younger and enough times in my life-
Now it is good! Maybe i should not shout to the rooftops- I don’t-
But today was a good day.
Do you call this manic?
Not me.
I call it simply my life is good ( today) - and i celebrate in a healthy way -

Yesterday-it simply was lacking

I feel tired and confused. But I am journalling and trying to do some meditation.

I'm feeling misunderstood and hopeless

I'm feeling misunderstood and hopeless

Last year I tapered off my meds believing my mental illness was cured..2 months later I was in full blown mania episode which lasted months,hospital got me back on my meds and im stable.. but I sometimes crave the manic me,im so creative in journaling and poetry and learning..now I'm just the me who feels nothing!!