mefirst

I posted a few days back about being stuck in a toxic relationship. With love & support from great people and some final realizations, I made the choice to leave. He kept promising change and never delivered. I could no longer take being what he considered the problem. It hurt to go and obviously still does. I have to keep reminding myself I shouldn’t go back, I don’t have to feel bad for leaving, and I cannot help someone who didn’t want to be helped. I know I have time to go before I can feel whole again, but I feel like massive amounts of weight is off my chest! I am a woman of value and I deserve someone who cares about me— physically, mentally, and emotionally. So for now, the my focus is going towards me! I feel free!! #Relationships #Releasethestress #EverythingsGoingToBeOkay #mefirst

I'm surrounding myself with this... "I may have lost someone who didn't love me, but he lost someone who truly loved him".

I have a knack for not following the stages of grief properly. Hah, feelings everywhere, denial, anger, depression.. ultimately I have been baffled at this amazing heart I've been given and how much I can pour it into someone and douse them with all of me, and then they take and take and take until their filled up, then they proceed on without looking back. I'm sure its all very obvious and verrry text book- for those of you who read all those books..
I know the habit has to change. The choice to choose me first, why is that so hard? Why am I so willing to sacrifice myself for someone who barely cares... I've figured out that I WANT to find and commit to things in my life that make me happy and that I will NOT change or alter from my schedule just when a guy comes into my life. Now that I'm a here it feels strange to not know what I'm interested in at 30... I wont give up, I cant ignore me anymore.
#Depression #Anxiety #mefirst #Healing

Do you ever worry more about what people will say if you don't show up to their events more than what you truly feel about going to the event in the first place? and how it will effect your health?
#keepgoing #MyFeelingsMatter #checkinonme #mefirst