Newtothis

Last week my daughter needed to be brought into the er for cyclic vomiting at 1pm. (She’s 20) They didn’t admit her until 11pm so I finally got to go home. I couldn’t fall asleep and 7am came fast while I was binge watching tv. At 7am I heard a loud thud come from my bedroom. My boyfriend fell when he went to stand up and couldn’t feel the entire right side of his body. Had to call 911 and they took him to the same hospital my daughter is in. I had to call my other daughter to watch my son so I could go to the hospital. Found out he had a stroke and my daughter may have Lupus. I came home that night and found my sewer line backed up into my basement. Ugh, what a mess!! I spent the next 3 days going between both rooms trying to visit and be supportive for them both. The entire week I forgot to take any of my meds and I hadn’t even noticed a difference. Probably because I deal with shit in a way most people think I just don’t care or have no emotions. So today I decided I should take my meds as I woke up feeling like the weight of the worlds is on my shoulders. Man, I got so sick to my stomach and so damn tired and I’ve been crying all day long. I’m really just feeling in a very dark place and like I’m losing control over everything in my life right now. I’m not sure where to turn for help and yes I know I can’t just stop taking my meds like that again. I just want to feel ok. I want to feel like a normal human being. I want to want to do things again. I want to feel like I’m living my life and not just feeling like I’m in a bad dream. #Depression #DissociativeEpisodeMaybe #tiredofnotfeelingok #Newtothis

I was just wondering if other people have problems with their family accepting their mental illnesses... there's not alot of people in my family that have any mental health problems (if they do they're not speaking about it). I'm the only one of my moms 3 daughters that has been diagnosed with anything and I feel really disconnected from everyone. I get told to suck it up and get over it alot! I get told that I'm doing this to myself and I just want attention. If I'm too hyper I'm on drugs (I've been clean for 4 years), if I'm sleeping all day and not being active I'm lazy and a bad mom, if I cry or get upset I'm too sensitive and being a crybaby, if I freak out in public and have an anxiety attack I get told to knock it off cuz I'm causing a scene. This is just some of the things I deal with and I'm just wondering if anyone else has this problem and what's the best way to fix it #Familyproblems #cantgetoverit #whatswrongwithme

These past couple months I’ve changed drastically I was so empathetic , kind and sensitive. I was the girl you went to for support and I was so social and giving, I loved to help others I knew exactly what to say. I’m not who I was and I wish I could bring parts of her back I got diagnosed with bpd it was triggered by a unhealthy relationship I was in. While she’s smiling finally seeking the help I inspired her to get she also gets to walk away with my sanity because I’m not the girl that met her I’m so distant and unstable with my emotions and it’s extremely hard for me to accept the fact anybody wants to help me because she made me feel like a burden to all that try to get in to help me. Who knew one persons actions could trigger a lifelong disorder and steal my happiness along with other traits I’m unable to feel without trying a million times harder than most.. even then my happiness isn’t a fraction of what it could’ve been if she had just reciprocated what I was giving to her..please share your experience and how you adjusted once your symptoms of bpd were more visible I’d appreciate your time #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #lost #Newtothis #MajorDepressiveDisorder #EmotionalAbuse #advicewanted

Just wanted to write my first post, I should have a story being punished soon. I am a spoonie with dodgy kidneys, CFS and anxiety. I want to share ideas on how I managed to get through uni with all my issues and also bring a tiny bit of humour. Finding the mighty has given me a new outlet and a new community.