anixety

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    How am I doing?

    When someone asks how I'm doing, I'm going seems to be the only way I can think of to put into words how im feeling. Im a single mum to a wee 4 year old boy who has a severe learning disability along with cerebral palsey with dystonia. It was his birth and the trauma of it that brought on ptsd but anixety has always been there from as early as 4 years old (thats when my own dad left). At beginning of lock down I watched "13 reasons why" on netflix and it brought back alot of memories I hadn't realised at the time where abusive/sexual assult/emotional abuse the list goes on, I mean even memories i hadnt known about, someone once told me once you open pandoras box there's no going back and thats litetally what it has felt like. While all these realisations are coming out im still having to parent as many of us do. Childs dad takes him for 1 hour every night and to be honest thats more hassle to get ready for than its worth and most nights i come back feeling crap because he has told me im a part time mum can call me all the names of the day,then next day its whiplash as he says I'm a good mum, its just mentally draining. He has him overnight 1 night at wkend and theres always a story when he comes back how difficult he was or what I could do better. I send absolutely everything down right down to a list of his routine and meds. It gets alot and while doctor has said ptsd, i have researched anixety depression, bipolar disorder, ocd, adhd and autism. I would love some clarity and ive such a long road of councelling needed im on a waiting list for cbt but that is long and nothing else offered as of yet, but I just keep going and try to remember everyone has their reasons they are the way they are #anixety #PTSD #CBT #13ReasonsWhy #singlemummy #cerebalpalseyawareness

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    Dear Depression
    I really hate you depression. I hate how unloved you make me feel. That am worthless and don’t deserve anything good in my life and to stop trying.
    I hate how slow you make time and trap me in the past. I hate how you make me doubt things from going out or even getting out of bed if it’s worth it. I hate how numb you can make my body that I can no longer feel hunger or thirst just the darkness.
    I know I am loved. I have amazing boyfriend,family and friends who adore me. Pets who stay with me till I fall a sleep. They would all take the pain away if they could.
    I hate you depression how dark, lonely and shadowed you make some days feel.
    #Depression #anixety #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe

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    Ok I am new here so I'm very nervous 💗 bare with me 😂 anyway I woke up this morning to my husband running his mouth on me and actually accusing me for sneaking out at night or bringing someone else in the house!! OMG 😳 I have never even cheated on him. We both are trying to lay down the meth and it's day 2. It really hurts my feeling's.
    #Recovery #Depression #anixety

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    Questioning Everything
    #anixety #Questioning

    Does anyone feel like they question everything they do? How to make the right decision for yourself and not to worry what everyone else thinks? I feel like I'm constantly questioning everything I do in life and honestly i drive myself crazy some days.

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    How to feel make my mental health better? #anixety

    After 6 months not working back to work for 3 days in September and now not working due to the place not allowing anyone in.. masks being mandatory means that it’s difficult for me to hear so since masks are mandatory I’ve been to shops on my own 2/3 times the rest with my dad/sister to help me understand what someone is saying.. so I’ve isolated myself.. worried about money.. if I go to the shops I want to leave as soon as I can.. yesterday had suicide thoughts beacuse of how I’m feeling

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    I forgot we weren’t supposed to bring up the fighting that happened today in class and told a friend as gossip. :/ now I’m stressing she is gonna tell others and it is gonna come back to me! 😨😨😨😱😱😱😱😨😨😨😨😨😨😨

    Community Voices

    Aloha! I'm new but have found comfort in this site. I will be honest in saying I need help Idk how I became this person I c wen I look in the mirror I feel myself with insecurities n only c the countless flaws n uglyness of my soul. The disappointment of not being that powerful unstoppable women I know I could be only makes me dwell in self pity . I am unable to adjust n cope with my sad unfortunate past. I don't know y, I don't know when or how I let myself become this person but I can c it's only making me disgusted with myself. Maybe I am a bad person with only one out look of life but I don't want it to be. It's just what I have come to know . I'm more than willing to learn if I had anyone that cared that much about me .

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