nostalgia

Do you also have the feeling that no matter how hard you try, no matter how successful you are, the amount of money you have, good health, therapy...that you will always feel empty, like something is missing ? And that the piece will never be found and that you may just as well give up ?

Depressions, anxieties, and childhood traumas apart, whatever they are...I feel like there is something I will actually never recover from. It is a certain feeling that is very hard to express with words. I don't think I will be able to talk about it with my psychiatrist, and yet I should try because it causes me so much sadness.

It is a feeling of extreme nostalgia, I feel like a child that's been put in an adult body with no instruction manual. I can't seem to fonction like people of my age. I don't look and I don't act like people my age. I constantly live in the past, remembering childhood memories every day all day since I've hit my 20's (now 24). Almost like a prison sentence, like the child is still there. I even began to collect objects/toys from my childhood.

I miss this so bad, I had my environnement, my surroundings, my friends, I just can't seem to let it go...

The reality of adulthood is shocking to me.

I constantly feel like each day bring me closer to my end ? I don't my futur past the end of the week. Everything must happen so fast now, and I struggle to keep track, I feel so behind compare to everyone. It's near impossible for me to create any form of relationships. My reality now is dull, boring and lonely. And If even as a grow older, I begin to slowly tick more boxes (good work, good situation, mariage even...), I don't think that I will ever get rid of that feeling, and It will be all just pretending to be "normal".

I want to thank the few people that might read this. I am also curious to know if this feeling is familiar to some of you.

#Depression #nostalgia #Childhood #Trauma #Anxiety #MentalHealth #sa

I'm riding a motorcycle through a haze of starlight and neon at an irresponsible speed. The lines of my vision are surreally sharp, and the air whipping my face has a metallic tang as it enters my lungs. My blood feels like battery acid and I'm acutely aware of everything from my fingertips to the soles of my shoes. The person sitting behind me is pleasantly, but not oppressively, close. Waiting at a stoplight, I can hear and feel the engine thrum within the core of the machine. The blazing traffic light turns green. The music swells.

I re-emerge into wakefulness, but don't open my eyes. One more morning, I play the game with myself. As long as I lay here, I can live in both worlds. Despite my resistance to it, my closed eyes register light and I start to feel the weight of the covers over my curled-up self. Even here, I could lay forever. No.

My hamstring twitches, and I sit up. Damn. I wish I was still in dreamland, then hate myself for wishing so. I extract myself from bed, and fumble my way to the shower, where the hot water and a tightly clenched jaw wash away the longing I want not to feel. Who wants to ride a motorcycle anyway? I ask myself. I shake my head like a wet dog, turn off the water, and breathe deep before I greet the day. #CerebralPalsy #nostalgia

So after many years my wife and I decided to carve/decorate pumpkins. This one is mine. It feels like a huge win against #Depression and #sad . It was simple and fun. And the seeds are a #Healthy snack.

Who knows what movie this is a parody of? The characters have been replaced with ones that do not belong. What the characters are doing is the same as their original counterparts. Have fun!

Whenever I see this picture I’m teleported to when I truly loved myself. I felt beautiful in my skin, I was happy of where I was in life. In my phone I favorited every photo that brings back nostalgia. I get so caught up in the pain, negativity and physical changes to my body that I forget that girl. So every time I find myself fading I look at her until I remember that that girl still lives within and one day I’ll get back to her.

Post a nostalgic picture of yourself. I would love to see everyone beauty!

#CheckInWithMe #Depression #PTSD #ChronicIllness #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Fibromyalgia #nostalgia #Selflove #Selfcare