Why do I sometime feel like a child stuck inside an adult body ? : how can I overcome such intense feelings of nostalgia?
Do you also have the feeling that no matter how hard you try, no matter how successful you are, the amount of money you have, good health, therapy...that you will always feel empty, like something is missing ? And that the piece will never be found and that you may just as well give up ?
Depressions, anxieties, and childhood traumas apart, whatever they are...I feel like there is something I will actually never recover from. It is a certain feeling that is very hard to express with words. I don't think I will be able to talk about it with my psychiatrist, and yet I should try because it causes me so much sadness.
It is a feeling of extreme nostalgia, I feel like a child that's been put in an adult body with no instruction manual. I can't seem to fonction like people of my age. I don't look and I don't act like people my age. I constantly live in the past, remembering childhood memories every day all day since I've hit my 20's (now 24). Almost like a prison sentence, like the child is still there. I even began to collect objects/toys from my childhood.
I miss this so bad, I had my environnement, my surroundings, my friends, I just can't seem to let it go...
The reality of adulthood is shocking to me.
I constantly feel like each day bring me closer to my end ? I don't my futur past the end of the week. Everything must happen so fast now, and I struggle to keep track, I feel so behind compare to everyone. It's near impossible for me to create any form of relationships. My reality now is dull, boring and lonely. And If even as a grow older, I begin to slowly tick more boxes (good work, good situation, mariage even...), I don't think that I will ever get rid of that feeling, and It will be all just pretending to be "normal".
I want to thank the few people that might read this. I am also curious to know if this feeling is familiar to some of you.
#Depression #nostalgia #Childhood #Trauma #Anxiety #MentalHealth #sa