So hard to explain my depression. Words alone leave me frustrated. A few days ago I attempted to use fewer words and instead use pictures and music. Two days later I came up with this: youtu.be/ACaCPXNFtQ8 #Suicide
#sad
#Paralyzed
#Solution
I’m having #Anxiety due to #COVID -19 and being high risk. Living with #PostPolioSyndrome #GuillainBarreSyndrome . #ThyroidCancer
Thyroid surgery has ruined my life. If I knew what the results would be, I would rather be dead. It #Paralyzed my vocal chord which left an opening to my airways causing #AspirationPneumonia with #Sepsis . By the time I was taken to the ER my temp was 103.7F. Blood Pressure was 100/50. I had stopped breathing. I was logged in as ‘Acute Respitory Failure’. My organs were shutting down. And I was admitted to ICU for few weeks. Then spent a year of #PhysicalTherapy to learn how to do simple things like walking or turning pages.
Then came 2.0.0.5 years of nothing but hell. All the progress I made was mostly washed away.
Ironically, I totally lost my voice and my career is in #Music #songwriting and #Singing . But that’s no longer possible.
MY DILEMMA
And the ENT doctor said he can do a permanent repair (surgery) and my voice would be sort of normal. I’ve had too many surgeries already.
If have #Surgery I’m scared to death. I will have more complications. I get #PTSD just thinking of anything with the name #Surgery of # Procedure.
I can’t go through more surgeries. I’d rather be dead than to keep suffering and wasting my life seeing doctors and being in hospital. For what?
My one problem is the effect it will have on my wife, my family, & three I’m not thinking of suicide. I’m just thinking of stopping all the BS. What will be wi
Latest
