The Aftermath of Fighting
My fight began in January 2020, with a dx of Iron Deficiency Anemia and acute Asthma. I was fatigued at the slightest attempt at housework, or movement, for that matter. By May I was struggling with Chronic Back Pain and Depression.
In August 2020 I started PT for my back pain, until April 2021, and it worked. On August 18, I had a plan for suicide, but there were no beds available in my local hospital. So my Psychatric Nurse started seeing me daily until I could get in to see my new Therapist in September 2020.
I have been fighting Depression for a year and 10 months. I have had two definitive suicide plans, and have been hospitalized in the psychiatric unit 4 times during this period.
In this time, I have been dx with Degenerative Disc Disease, Osteopenia, Fatty Liver Disease, and Atrophy of the Optic Nerve, on top of my already known list of invisible illnesses.
I have fought against everything with changes in diet, medications, supplements, and exercise.
But I can't do anything about my loss of sight.
It was first discovered at my annual exam with my Opthalmologist in March 2021. He sent his report to my Neurologist, who put me through a battery of tests, including a lumbar tap, to find the cause. Nothing. The Neurologist sent all his information to a specialist, a Neuro-Opthamologist, in a city two hours away. My appointment with this specialist was rescheduled THREE. TIMES.
I celebrated my 52nd birthday in August with a grateful heart, because in June I had planned to die that day.
By the time September 2021 arrived, I was mentally and physically hypervigilant. My appointment with the Neuro-Opthamologist was the 24th. Each day I prayed he wouldn't cancel/reschedule. I checked and rechecked my reservations for my overnight stay....boarding my cat, my rental car, the hotel....
On the 24th I drove 4 hours on a route that should have taken two. It was the same on my return, but I can blame the fog for that. I spent three hours in the clinic in testing and talking with the Neuro-Opthamologist. I discovered the damage to my left eye had progressed since my last testing in June, and that I have a congenital condition that makes me susceptible to this Atrophy.
Upon my return home, with the support of my family, I decided to stop driving.
I am still trying to figure out what this dx means for my future.
Saturday, October 2 my husband was admitted to the Cardiac ICU due to Sepsis. Sunday night his lungs stopped working and he was placed on a ventilator. I visited him Monday, prayed aloud and talked with him, then went to my appointment with my psychiatrist. I was hospitalized directly from his office due to hysteria. I was discharged Thursday. My husband survived and is now home on antibiotics.