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Today I had to get firm with family members about the fact I don't want to talk about politics, religion or news. I feel like that may make me seem like I don't care what's going on in the world but it's making me feel utterly hopeless. I can't believe how much worse my mental health is since 2016. My husband is such a lovely guy but it's consuming him and makes him angry and bitter (not towards me) unfortunately I have to live with some of these other family members who have very opposing views and beliefs. I'm worn down and keep asking myself what's the point in living in a country like this. In a world like this. I just cannot take anymore. #Family #Politics #relgion #Hoplessness #SuicidalIdeation #Depression #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Insomnia #PTSD #Stress #familyissues


Rageful and Proud. #CPTSD #Politics #PoliticalDepression

I have never been able to compartmentalize the various aspects of life: the personal, the politcal, the economic and the social. It seems way too contrary to reality to compartmentalize all these things that inevitably interwine and effect/affect us on regularly and even hourly basis.
Long before the events of the past few years, I have been scratching my head, weeping, yelling, protesting and trying to cope. I have exhausted every resource--all those resources that ultimately just tell the individual that he or she is the problem. All the while, I am too young, poor and powerless to stop it. Any attempt I made to fight it has been an unintended-farce at best and punished at worst.
I do not believe any individual (except maybe a few in high seats with fat paychecks) is totally responsible for what is clearly a broader tragedy.
Needless to say, therapy does not work for me and I refuse to damage my brain with medication that will simply make me conform and shut up.
I will not share the personal trauma I have faced in this post; I have shared that trauma with many people. I have recounted my trauma perhaps a hundred times and until I was blue in the face. It has only led to more exhausation, judgement and ostracization--which makes me more vulnerable and easier prey. I'm tired of professionals, family and friends getting off on hearing all the horrific events I have experienced. I'm a human being, not a TV drama.
It also does not matter what I have specifically endured. I am speaking the truth (albeit vaguely in this post) and I am telling the truth.

Here is my rageful act of revenge:

I am STILL non-violent, FULLY functional, sober and obeying the law so you can't commit me AHHHHHAHAHAHAHA!