Pre

I was listening to music today and this song came up by Imagine Dragons. I've been having a very rough time feeling unmotivated and have been down on myself. This song really helped me to put in perspective that we all have bad times...it doesn't mean we give up, it means we allow them to happen then get back to where we are at peace again. Here is a portion of the lyrics:

"....It's okay to be not okay
It's just fine to be out of your mind
Breathe in deep, just a day at a time
'Cause it's okay to be out of your mind

I don't want this body, I don't want this voice
I don't want to be here, but I guess I have no choice
Just let me live my truth, that's all I wanna do
Baby, you're not broken, just a little bit confused.
...."

My birthday is Saturday and I am feeling a bit sad that due to all of my illnesses, my life hasn't been what I thought it would be. I've lost out on so much. And then I give myself a shake and remember everything I have to be thankful for. On Saturday I need to celebrate me, who I am now, not who I was, or the things I used to be able to do. I hope I can wake up and tell myself "Wow! I made it another year. Way to go!" And then face the day with a smile and a sense of adventure for the upcoming year. I hopefully can say " I'm okay!" #Fibromyalgia #BipolarII #Retinal Vein Occlusion #Pre -Parkisons #RestlessLegsSyndrome #OccipitalNeuralgia #ChronicDepression #intractablechronicmigrains

i just want to know if it’s possible to live a healthy, fulfilling life if my pain never goes away. i was just thinking about how i haven’t been able to do much these past few years - whether that’s making new friends or getting involved in extracurriculars or doing research or getting a job. ive spent most of time trying to get through my classes and trying to manage my awful mental and physical health. so i ran around to doctors offices and therapists (and other people too, all to help me manage my health better) in my free time. the irony is that im trying to get into med school but i don’t spend enough time actually working towards that goal cuz im trying to manage my own health instead . im probably not going to be able to get in and even if I do, would i even survive the long hours of mentally and physically draining work. i want to go to med school to help other people relieve their pain even if ill never be able to relieve my own . i wonder if im using my pain as an excuse to justify why im not working harder or doing more to improve. im wasting my youth and i really have no one to blame but myself.

#MyofascialPainSyndrome #ChronicPain #Pre -med #Depression #Anxiety