I was diagnosed with severe depression at 16. I took myself to a GP at 15 yrs old as I knew something was wrong. I didn’t understand how are knew something wasn’t right my thoughts were not good.
Unfortunately I was told by my parents I was over dramatic / being silly / seeking attention when I did build the courage to talk about how I actually felt. ( I’m realllt thankful to that doctor as I learnt It wasn’t my ‘ fault ‘ these feelings.
I was a good student skipped a
Year level , taught dancing after school and competed it brought me joy. I Paid for my own school trips, my dance classes and food even . I left school early due to my home situation, working many jobs along the way to look aftermyself and rented a room. (Still under 18) had to quit dancing and focus on basic survival - roof over my head and food in the tummy )
I became sick in 2019 - I worked my way up through collections temp to a full time employee as assistant to the sales manager corporate bank team. I didn’t know I wouldn’t get to return to to work, a proper goodbye to my mentor and colleagues. I peaked and didn’t know it. At 19.
Since then the deep Lonelyness has gotten worse year by year. I’m 32 now.
I’m not sure what I can do to help myself I feel like I’m not treading water more drowning.
I know I feel unloved . Im still learning self love. I’ve lost so many ppl over the years my 20s I felt it as 95% of the people in my life left. I understand why doesn’t make it hurt any less . 13 years of pain and trying everything the doctors suggested no matter my reservations…….
I’m forced to do things that make me more ill as there is no one to turn to. I faint at home bymyself and wake up on the ground it’s scary.
Before covid I had finally got my name down and arranged some help in the way of - career few hours a week, transportation or taxis paid , and to get out of the house with the carer . It all shut down tho , I understand it was no longer on top the list so to speak….. global crisis covid 19.
I feel like I’m driving my body into the ground. I have a broken shoulder ( humerus ) right arm. how bad does it need to get before it’s too much?? Much appreciated any advice ( I live in Vic , Australia ) Thankyou
Thankyou for reading 📖 this far. It has been therapeutic and help changed my #badthoughts I was having tonight.
Good vibes and happiness your way mighty warriors 💗🙏🏼 good morning or good night depending where you are in our beautiful world x
#cannabiscorner #writingthroughit #restlesslegssyndrome #suicidalthoughts #arttherapy #purpose #mentalabuse #medicarecbdrhcoil #medicareaustralia #stopprofittingmedicinalcannabis #nomoneynotreatment #arttherapy #cptsd