Bipolar 2 Disorder

What sticks mostly in my head over the last few years is the day I received my diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. I had to wait until it was safe during the COVID-19 pandemic to get to see the psychiatrist. I was referred by my GP to see the crisis team just before the outbreak and lockdown the pandemic brought with it. I was told to keep a Mood Diary, it was a very tedious and frustrating time for me as I had to wait 9 months to be seen. My health is in no way any more important than that of the general public and I understand why it took so long but I’m one of the lucky ones who didn’t do anything detrimental in this time frame and cause significant damage to myself or others around me. At the time I was on an antidepressant (Mirtazapine) and I had been prescribed a mood stabiliser (Depakote) by my doctor in the May of 2020. If you are Bipolar Manic, taking an antidepressant solely increases your susceptibility to experience massive spikes in mood swings and an extreme shift to Mania from being slightly depressive or stable. This rapid shift is accompanied by a rapid decline from the mania too.

The problem I faced was that I hadn’t been diagnosed by a psychiatrist that I was Bipolar at the time (as I was still waiting to see the psychiatrist), so as I had experienced 3 tonic-clonic type seizures that still haven’t been explained (personally I think it was a combination of the Sertraline and Tramadol I was on causing Serotonin Syndrome) and I won’t get an explanation now. At the time I suggested that it was Serotonin Syndrome which was met with deaf ears and ignored. I’m not a doctor or a pharmacist but I studied Medicinal Chemistry at university so I know a little about it and I have subsequently researched my text books and I have found compelling evidence that my suggestion was a valid one.

I’m currently researching the topic of what my medication (Olanzapine, Fluoxetine and Lithium) work on, their modes of action, and extrapolating backwards to see if there is any concurrent relationship between these. At present I’m looking into levels of the Serotonin (5HT), Norepinephrine (NE) and Dopamine (D2) levels in the brain that have been hypothesised to be linked to depression in people.
Being diagnosed with Bipolar has been a truly amazing experience that has opened my eyes to the World and to my existence. I don’t look at it as a negative in any way but as a blessing in fact. I have strengthened my connections with the people who matter and disassociated myself from the people who have made their own conclusions about me by knowing less than half of the facts.
There’s no such thing as a negative, it’s just an opportunity that you have to look at in a different way 👌

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I’m a Roman Catholic and I believe in God. I have a question that I’ve posed to my psychiatrist and my priest about my self harm period. I’m right handed yet I cut my right arm using my left hand. I have read about accounts before where this happened to people and the common denominator of this occurrence was that the Devil gets inside you via your weaker side (i.e. my left side). I have never been answered comprehensively by anyone who has been asked about this in the Medical Profession. My priest has concurred with me that this is something that he has heard of before and is plausible to answer my question. Although I didn’t get a completely convincing answer from him about it, his agreement with my suggestion was significant enough for me to believe it is because of this. If you asked me who I would believe between my priest and my psychiatrist, I would choose my priest every time. So on the back of this, at the time, I began to read chapters from the Bible regarding how we can be influenced by the Devil and negativity. I also read about other religions and their Gods and their variations of the Devil. I thought to myself that I must appreciate these Gods and these Devils as well as my own beliefs. I don’t believe that a Devil incarnate would differentiate between us as it possesses many of us to create problems. Please look at the picture on the post and let me know what you think 👌.

This post is in no way blasphemy if you think it is intended that way and if I’ve offended anyone then I’m truly sorry and I never intended that.

#MentalHealth #MightyTogether

Here’s a little thought about our existence to get you thinking. Sometimes I wonder if the Bipolar Disorder gives me a different perspective of things than that of others who don’t suffer from it. I think in segments, topic, reasoning, justification and logic. In that order. I’m aware that my point is not anymore valid than the next person’s opinion, but I find it interesting to see how people think about things in different ways and then discussing it with them to see how they formed their opinion. So if you have any opinions on what I’ve written, please leave a comment on the post 👌.

In our lives it’s a common practice to never make any decisions or do anything in anger because your brain isn’t fully focused on the best way to deal with the situation. If you have the TV on and a certain program is on there, if you’re not focused on it and you’re reading a text or a paper or magazine etc you won’t fully follow the narrative of the program. Focus is something that requires 100% application from you to get the most out of whatever you are doing. It’s not something to do half heartedly or blasé or just apatheticly strolling through life. There’s a saying that “you get out of something what you put into it”, and that is true in the context of my life so far, very much so. Focus and attention on what you are doing is the same as focus and attention on yourself. We are not separate things in this world, everything is connected and part of the same phenomenon we are calling our world, galaxy or universe. We are the extremities of the Big Bang and our existence is the same as the waves of the oceans or the leaves of the trees. We have to rely on trees to breathe and survive and we need water too. If we focus on being as one with what surrounds us we will see we are, being at one with nature and understand what we are capable of achieving. The seas and the trees have existed longer than we have. Focus on our immediate surroundings to unlock the door to understanding our own reasons for existence 👌

#MightyTogether #MentalHealth #MentalIllness

This 👌

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