You know, so often the abused are not even aware of the abuse as it’s happening and only years later, after learning that it was in fact not normal, do they realize how wrong it was.
Abusers condition their victims to accept that what’s happening to them is normal, that it is how everyone gets treated, and that it’s their fault, eliciting feelings of guilt and shame, effectively preventing the abused from speaking out.
People justify abuse by saying, “well it could’ve been worse,” “it wasn’t as bad as you’re saying,” “you’re being dramatic,” or my favorite, “you’re just trying to cause problems” when you were actually just trying to tell someone. I’ve been told I’m crazy, I’m a drama queen, I’m melodramatic, I’m an instigator, and on and on. I told my family about the abuse and those were the responses I got.
Yes it could’ve been worse. Yes others have gone through similar things. No I’m not the only one. Maybe some of it I did deserve. But that doesn’t excuse it.
It was abuse of power, trust, and love. Children are to be cared for, protected, nurtured, and loved. Not beat, insulted, gaslit, ignored, blamed, verbally abused, and emotionally neglected. If you cannot trust those put in your life to protect you, how can you trust others?
I have worked very hard, for many years to heal from the way I was raised. I have made it my goal in life to not allow others to feel the same ways I was made to feel. That is all after the fact. What is needed is intervention and protection before healing is necessary.
If you see something, say something. If you’re told something in confidence, help.
Children need to know that not all adults are going to hurt them. They are our future and broken children create broken adults, which in turn creates a broken society. Break the cycle.
#Breakthecycle #Trauma #Childhoodtrauma #traumasurvivor #MentalHealth #Healing #ChildAbuse #Gaslighting