Join the Conversation on
14 people
0 stories
5 posts
Explore Our Newsletters
What's New in

Freight train

I feel like I'm on a train whipping past my life. I've been depressed before and have gotten better. I never know how bad it's gotten until it gets better. I don't have a diagnosis. I don't know what's wrong with me. I want a formal label to know I'm not simply crazy but I don't want to be limited by a diagnosis. I literally don't know how to feel or what to do every day.
A very large part of me wants to ignore everything and stick myself in limbo. But I feel I've seen too much personal growth to repeat my mistakes this year. I just don't know what to do. #Undiagnosed #Screaming inside

See full photo

Why is it everything so hard... #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #Anxiety #Depression #Screaming # scared

hi guys
Why is everything so hard. I'm exsosted scared and not sure what to do any more. Work terrifying me because I'm a supply educational assistant and I'm afraid of my phone. It get so bad I can't even look at it. Than their is the six months I spent with stomic and bowel pain that makes me want to throw up. Six months of being afraid of eating food because I never know what's going to set it off. Sometimes I get so scared it takes me hours to eat. I do eat because I know if I don't ill just end up more sick. Now the doctor tells me it's likely ibs but we have to do a endoscopy and a colinoscopy. I have to wait two more months dealing with this. She said in could try the low food map diet but everything I've read Says you are supposed to do it with a dietitian. I don't have one of those . I don't know how im supposed to do this. I'm scared and don't even know how to tell my husband how bad it is. I'm afraid that nothing will change as I've been dealing with this for a really long time. How do you do this? I don't even know what to do anymore. Scared and just need to tell someone.
Ps photo was because I didn't know what else to put.


Change in the Winds

I think it's time that I go with the inner shift in my mindset and do something different. Unfortunately, all I want to do now is to kill off my heart, destroy my feelings, and to not allow myself to feel again. I feel like doing everyone a favour and leave without a trace. I no longer want to feel love. I don't know how I could ever help anyone in this world. I don't know why they would need me in the first place. I feel so worthless... I try to endure it all, but I implode every time. My mind seems to be winning every battle thus far. I don't stand a chance against those who seem to be winning the game of life. I seem to fall harder and faster as everyone moves upward. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I'm feeling everything so much... just let me die. #MentalHealth #Depression #cryforhelp #imnotok #NotOK #idontwantodothisanymore #Crying #Screaming #Screaminginside #letmedie

1 comment

#Screaming on the inside

So can i be honest here #beinghonest
I’m pissed #fuckingmad
All the fluffy words of encouragemet make me angry #fluffywordsareusless
It won’t be better tomorrow. But i need help! #help
So can i be honest #honest or will the truth be to much?