honest

The #struggle is real... 💜

When I first joined #themighty I wanted to try and remain as #positive as possible, creating #conversations and asking questions and getting advice from you guys that would in turn help me navigate the life of #fibromyalgiasyndrome 🙏🏻

I am in the first year of suffering with widespread #ChronicPain every day that I wake up, it even keeps me from sleeping at this point #painsomnia

As well as only being #diagnosed for around five months, it's like a rollercoaster ride that I can't seem to keep up with but... With many more lows than highs 🎢

I am alternating between #insomnia and I seemed to have developed some kind of #tinnitus that rages away in my head 24 hours a day! And being so #fatigued that I cannot physically keep my eyes open; when this happens I do not eat, I do not get dressed, I do not look after myself, in fact the most I can do on these days is go to the bathroom and back to #bed

I feel so #upset and occasionally #angry that I'm doing the bare minimum... Sometimes not even that! And I'm still #struggling 😢

My doctor checks in about once a month to extend to my sick note, reorder my medications ALL of which are #anxiety and #Depression related with no strong course of #Pain relief or any pain relief at all I am told to just stick with over the counter and to take them "as and when"

I am supposed to have appointments with the pain clinic but I'm still waiting...
I have reached out to an ME/Fibromyalgia support group local to me; but I'm still waiting...
I just feel like I'm getting #worse and all I can do is #wait for the #help to come and find me. I barely have the #energy to #fight and I don't have the #knowledge to know where to go from here

I know its still early days and many other people with #Fibromyalgia have had better and worse days and that it is a journey BUT my goodness this is hard! I just want to sleep and to not wake up because it all seems so overwhelming right now 😴

I don't even know where I'm going with this #post but I just felt as though I needed to let it out on a platform that is #caring and #understanding and has helped me feel like I #belong for the first time in a long time so thank you to anyone who has interacted with me and giving me #advice it really is appreciated!

Now I know why many of you go by "Fibromyalgia Warriors"... It's so true; every day is a battle with your own body... Except you're losing 😣

Hoping for better days to come! Today is not one of them and I need to remind myself that it's OK. But more often than not when you're deep in the thick of it, it becomes hard to see the light

Trying to be positive but some days it's much harder to reach. And even if no one reads this I'm just glad to get it off my chest 💜

#Fatigue #tired #Lowmood #MentalHealth #OnedayAtaTime #paingry #rant #paragraph #dayinthelife #honest #hopeful

Since there’s a lockdown where I live, I’m really doubting the usefulness of my existence. I know it sounds dramatic but think about it... I work during the week but in the weekend it is complete silence. I have no kids and nowhere to go. I started thinking, well why do I need to be awake at 10 am on a Saturday? At 2pm? At 3pm? There is no use/reason for that. So I relapsed on taking anti-anxiety meds. I take them so that I would be asleep all weekend long so the hours would pass faster. It’s horrible and I feel guilty and I don’t know where this is going to end #Anxiety #Addiction #Medication #Relapse #Depression #honest

#honest to a fault. I try to push my limits, leave my comfort zone at least once a week. I push back against my pain.

I’m having one of those nights where everything is on my mind and it’s getting in the way of me going to sleep-no matter how tired I am. No matter how much I know I’m going to regret it and want to avoid the dreadful under eye bags. Anywho- tonight’s thoughts are that I have truly not been completely honest with anyone in my life. I’ve been full of shame and have elaborated myself, or kept the whole truth from people not to be malicious but because I was afraid. Because I didn’t feel good enough. Because I didn’t want to explain myself. Because I didn’t want them mad at me. Because I wanted them to like me. Whatever the reason was- i withheld information or stretched the truth because it sounded better than the actual truth. Friends, family, even my therapist at times (I withhold out of fear of making her feel bad). I have trouble connecting with people because I don’t fully show up. I resent others because I blame them for not making me feel comfortable enough to be open. I get angry with myself for sabotaging potential relationships. It’s a constant cycle. And I just want someone to be able to fully be vulnerable with. I want to be honest. With no shame. No fear of judgement. No second thoughts. Just freely expressing whatever whenever wherever. #honest #LateNightThoughts #Vulnerable #Shame #NoJudgment

#ChronicIllness #

Always be Honest. #Rain
I know everyone tells you always be honest and tell us when your happy because everyone wants to know but what about when your sad.
Tell them when your sad! At least try and build yourself up to it because you will see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel sunshine in stead of rain? Xx #Depression #Advice #postive #Care

So can i be honest here #beinghonest
I’m pissed #fuckingmad
All the fluffy words of encouragemet make me angry #fluffywordsareusless
It won’t be better tomorrow. But i need help! #help
So can i be honest #honest or will the truth be to much?
#iwillnevergetbetter