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    The #Depression is Crawling In

    I am sure I am becoming depressed. #Pray for me because this is going to be rough. My doctor did warn me that depression could run around sometimes during these months. It seemed to be that the short period of time in which I was really at a solid, even happy was just that : short. I am going to just wing it and see where it takes me. So glad I quit smoking because no matter what they say on this subject smoking totally made me moody (I know because I tried quitting about three other times for extended periods of time). Nicotine totally put me in moods and I am glad to be rid of it. (about Dec 8, 2021 clear of nicotine). #smokingcessation My parents are going to have to look after me. But you know what? it doesn't seem so bad....I just have to know not to listen to those songs that creep in and get you fu**ed up and in a mooooooooooodddddd. I know one for myself and I ain't sharing it because it is soooo disturbing to me and I do not want to hurt other people by sharing it. #Music I believe that I can overcome this based on the evaluation of other times #BipolarDepression came upon me to cease me. I do believe I am able to do this. I can totally do life with this Depression. I know it doesn't even at all depend on the optimism I can feel at this moment when it is not exactly going on or from study habits of what it's like for me when I look at it and wonder about if there are things that make me cry or upset or emotional. Maybe it's conquerable because I do know myself pretty good and can totally say I can stay away from this and that as all the details go that seem to have me in tears. But anyway I am sure I have one thing right in my life and it's living with my parents. I may totally depend on them but I'd be hitting rock bottom without my Mom and Dad. #Parents

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    I seem to have finally quit smoking. Let’s hope it sticks. It’s been two weeks. Here’s to many more. #smokingcessation

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    I want...instead #smokingcessation

    I Want...Instead
    I want to feel happy and satisfied when I smell clean air in my car and home instead of stale smoke.
    I want to enjoy talking to people instead of seeing them back away because I smell like cigarettes.
    I want to sleep well instead of coughing all night.
    I want to work in my yard and make it pretty instead of gasping for breath whenever I try to do anything.
    I want to hear laughter and giggles from my grandchildren instead of hearing them tell me they wish I didn’t smoke.
    I want to be a good example for my family and friends instead of an embarrassment.
    I want to feel good about myself instead of ashamed.
    I want to live to see my grandchildren grow up instead of die too soon and they not remember me.
    I fought cancer...twice...and won! Fighting this cigarette addiction simply cannot be harder than that!

    Follow-up: I won, again! Cigarette FREE for four months so far and FEELING GOOD!


    how fo i quit smoking and where can i get the desire to do so and find cigarette smoke taste repulsive and quit? #smokingcessation

    i'm finding it really hard to quit smoking and can be very impulsive with nicotine in cigarettes and also Nicorette Quickmist mouth sprays. I have Asperger Syndrome.#quittingsmokingwithasd

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    So, is there anyone up here that is smoking even though their health is already compromised in other ways? Like who really wants to quit but just can’t seem to be able to? #smokingcessation #Smoke #TheChainsmokers #LungDisease #Sarcoidosis


    Surviving champix with my life intact

    I've been taking champixfor three weeks, and quit smoking 10 days ago. My work supervisor and collaborator has too--also with champix as an aid, though she is a week or so ahead of me.  Both of us are experiencing issues with anger, hate, depression, detachment.  She actually seems unrecognizable as the person I know and usually love.

    There is actual and real friction and problems in our organization, and between us, that have been escalating since before this mood altering medication.  Its just now things seem like they are getting worse, much worse, fast.  Challenges I want to rise to now seem like unforgivable affronts from shitty people that I need to protect myself from and should quit/escape.  All kinds of old stuff in me gets triggered into overdrive--which further reduces my ability to make sound judgments or even my perceptions.  Like any kind of anger or threat, my brain gives me a pressing sense of urgency to "do something about this".

    All of it makes me feel fearful, mistrustful, confused and helpless. a major CPTSD outbreak.

    Reminder One:  Do my best to not make any big decisions right now.
    ReminderTwo: I care about the people I care about and will treat them with love and respect regardless of how I feel or what a conflict looks like.
    Reminder Three: Like any time of symptoms, my thoughts are not always trustworthy right now.  Let them come and go without attaching too much importance or meaning to them.
    Reminder Four: There are no heroes or villains, just all of us together.
    Reminder Five: Everyone is going through things.  Their stuff matters.  Their stuff matters to me.

    #DailyReminder #champixiswack #Depression #smokingcessation