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    Recent health update

    After leaving the Ophthalmologist’s office with 3 days of ongoing blurred/ double vision. Got to love sarcoid flares. #Sarcoidosis #RareDisease #ChronicIllness

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    Currently living in 1-bdrms apartment building with young people around me (I’m 50) with their partying, noises, and smells. Used to be just vets and a few older people. Want to be away from the slamming doors and arguing at 2am. I’m home most of the time minus Dr visits/grocery shopping. Just want to move into an adult/retirement community that will take me although I’m 5 years below the minimum. I have RA & sarcoidosis and just need some quietness along with security. #IHaveBecomeTHATOldLady



    I have a lot of exciting stuff happening but it is also very scary. I am getting married and moving to a new town in April. So much preparation needed. And I will be leaving the job I love and taking a new job (with the same company). I am so worried that it won’t be like the job I have now. I love my job! Anyway….just soooooo much to think about and do. Scary!

    #ChronicMigraineSyndrome #Sarcoidosis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #UndiagnosedAutism #ADHD #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #ChronicDepression


    People Who Understand

    Posting for the first time because I’m sick of all the people in my life who don’t understand what living with mental illness is like. Sharing my feelings/struggle with them only makes me feel more alone. Hopefully someone here can relate to my rambling.

    I have treatment resistant depression, generalized anxiety disorder and C-PTSD. I’m also still grieving the loss of my mom to sarcoidosis in 2018. She was my primary source of support with my mental illness and understood me better than anyone. I miss her terribly and have felt isolated since her death.

    My depression has been on (yet another) downward spiral and I’m frustrated. I’m barely functioning now and I can feel the suicidal thoughts coming on again. I just finished another round of ketamine, I’m in EMDR therapy but nothing is working. Nothing EVER works.

    Not the dozens of meds, TMS, ECT, therapy. I’m just so tired of trying these last 20 years. It really wears a person out. My whole adulthood. My life feels like such a waste and I hate not achieving any of the goals I’ve had for my life due to crippling depression.

    For those who have been fighting mental illness for years, how do you keep from giving up? It just feels like a never ending battle. One tiny step forward, 12 giant steps backs. It’s hard to have hope with this pattern. It’s even harder not having people around me who understand or who are genuinely sympathetic.

    Thanks for reading. #ChronicDepression #treatmentresistant


    It is going to be a good day #ChronicDailyHeadache

    Feeling good this morning though I woke with a migraine (as I do pretty much every morning). Praise God for good meds. I got up early and took my meds and laid back down. They always help but this morning the migraine is totally gone. That like never happens!!!! Yay!!!! So now I can go to work and truly enjoy my day. I hope everyone has a wonderful Tuesday!! #Sarcoidosis #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Migraine #Depression #Anxiety


    So sick of feeling bad #ChronicDailyHeadache #Headache #MigraineWithAura

    Struggling with a headache today. Have been all week actually. I took meds and it is starting to go away but it has done this several times just to come back. Ugh!!!! #Sarcoidosis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #ChronicMigraineSyndrome #Depression #Anxiety

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    FRIYAY! #Adulting #Work

    Well, it is Friday. I usually don’t work in Fridays but I am working today. I really gotta stop messing with my work schedule because I always end up mad about it. Annoyed with myself for moving things around. How great it would be if I could stay home today. And if I didn’t need the hours soooooo badly I totally would. #Sarcoidosis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Depression #Anxiety #ADHD


    Gonna Be A Great Day #greatday #happythoughts

    Good morning my might friends. Today IS going to be a good day! I am choosing that right now and not gonna let anyone or an circumstances mess it up. 🥰I wish you all a beautiful Thursday! #Sarcoidosis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Anxiety #Depression #ADHD #Autism


    Adulting Sucks #Work #Adulting

    Wednesday morning, why do you hate me? 😂 Man Oh man I woke feeling horrible this morning. I know it is because of my monthly friend (though that friend isn’t too friendly). I REALLY wish I didn’t have to go to work and I could totally call in but I know I shouldn’t. It is soooooo tempting. I could just lay back down in my comfy bed. Man….that would be great!!! Oh well, I guess I have to go adult now. Adulting is so totally over rated. Ugh! #Sarcoidosis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Depression #Anxiety #ADHD #Autism


    Slept great finally #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepDeprivation

    Took the day off so that I wouldn’t be at the store I usually work at during inventory. So, just sitting home today. Glad I am….I slept 13 dang hours last night. I must have really needed the rest. It is crazy how some nights I can’t sleep a wink and then all of a sudden I sleep 13 hours in one night. But….I guess I shouldn’t complain. I definitely feel a bit better today. #Sarcoidosis #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Insomnia #ChronicDepression #Anxiety