Stupiddumbbreastcancer

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    Make a decision? #Stupiddumbbreastcancer #MentalHealthAwareness #Blindness #yourvoicematters

    How are we supposed to make these decisions? I’m part way through my second type of chemo. I’ve completed 8/12. The taxol started making my fingers go numb. I’m legally blind. I need my fingers for everything from finding the tactile markings on my appliances to cleaning up broken glass and washing dishes, to reading the Braille in elevators to get around. We cut the last dose by 20%, used ice packs on my fingers to limit blood flow/drug exposure, and I’ve started taking B6 to help the nerves. By Monday I have to decided whether to risk another dose or stop here and try to preserve what function I have left in my fingers. And yet, it’s cancer, not a damned cold. No good answer. No guarantees. No way to know. It’s all crazymaking!

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    Boob job? Yeah NO

    Please let me clarify that  saying “Oh you are so lucky to get a free boob job” or “Oh boy a free tummy tuck” or “Aren’t you happy to have free perky boobs?” should never be said, ever! Add the neuropathy, lymphedema, nerve damage, weight gain, fear of death and all the other crap that we get on top of the CANCER and it is not free, the price we pay is beyond what anyone can afford.   #Stupiddumbbreastcancer #MentalHealthAwareness #yourvoicematters #BreastCancer

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    This is me

    This is me. Grey hair, wrinkles, weight at an all time high, bags under my eyes. Cancer and MS aged me, stole my confidence and self esteem, what an asshole?! Truth is we are all beautiful, cliche as it is. You don’t need a filter or a mask when you are your authentic self. Who’s digging deep with me? #Stupiddumbbreastcancer #MentalHealthAwareness #yourvoicematters #mentalhealthtools #everybodyisbeautiful #NoFilter

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    Safety plan

    Having thoughts of Suicide is something many struggle with. Having a plan in place is vital. What’s your safety net look like? Keep it on your phone and review it. Share with those you need. ##Stupiddumbbreastcancer #MentalHealthAwareness #yourvoicematters #CheckInWithMe
    #Safetyplan

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    Beautiful

    And she said “It hit me that being strong or confident didn’t always mean being loud and having all the attention. Sometimes, it could be that quiet confidence where you just believed in yourself and the beauty of being who you are.” #Stupiddumbbreastcancer #MentalHealthAwareness #yourvoicematters #everybodysbeautiful

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    Let’s talk

    Spending some time with my bff and his Herbie to talk about Suicide Prevention. The best way to prevent suicide is to talk about your stories. It de-stigmatizes it and connects us. I share mine so others know they aren’t alone. #Stupiddumbbreastcancer #namisyracuse #MentalHealthAwareness #yourvoicematters #lovebugtrumpshate

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    Life’s too short for boring socks

    Life is too short for boring socks. It’s too short to not live in the moment. It’s too short to not surround yourself by people that lift you up. Life’s too short to not sing ..badly. It’s too short to not realize how lucky you are to have the best of friends in your life you consider family. #yourvoicematters #MentalHealthAwareness #Stupiddumbbreastcancer

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    You don’t get over it

    I hate when people say "you will get over this", that is a load of crap no matter if it is cancer or death or heart break. If it is real, caused you pain and you suffered then getting over it is something will never happen. I for one never got over my mother's death or any of my friend's passing what I did was I got through it. My girlfriend's son died last year and that was the first thing I said to her "you will get through this" never over. How can you get over something that changed your life 180 degrees?
    So saying "get over it" is dumb. You get over a fence or a stream but trauma oh hell no. When you have deep scars, death of friends, side effects, insomnia, weight gain, muscle loss, physical pain, hair loss, hair growth in friggin bad places, toe nails falling off, mishappen boobs, numbness....how can you get over? #Stupiddumbbreastcancer #MentalHealthAwareness #yourvoicematters

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    Depression looks different for me

    #tbf this is an old pic of me with my two besties. Everyone would tell me how amazing I looked. I was less than 90 pounds and in the deepest #Depression Of my life. My days were long and nights longer. About two months later I hospitalized myself. Depression looks different on everyone. Sometimes it’s that girl that looks like she has everything but in truth feels like she is so alone. I am blessed to have had their support in dark and light. #CheckInWithMe #Stupiddumbbreastcancer #MentalHealthAwareness #yourvoicematters

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    It’s ok to not be ok

    It’s ok to be ok. It’s ok to not use a filter. It’s ok to miss that party for your mental health It’s ok to self care. It’s ok to ask for help. #MentalHealth mentalhealthadvocate #Stupiddumbbreastcancer #mentalhealthistrending #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth