#tags:#ChildhoodSexualAbuse #Csa #SexualAbuseSurvivors #SexualAbuse #Incest #incestsurvivor #PTSD #CPTSD #repressedmemories #posttraumaticstessdisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #csasurvivor #Abuse #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors #SexualTrauma #Trauma #DID

Parts 1 & 2:  (links in comments)

However, a few years before my mother passed away, my wife and I were able to get more information about her marriage to my father. It turns out, my mother never wanted children. She had a bad experience with her own mother and did not want to be responsible for other children. My father insisted. Once we got old enough where he lost interest, he left us. So my mother was now a single mother with 3 kids she originally never wanted. This also means that the only reason I was born was apparently to satisfy his pedophlia.

In the past year since starting my “Heavy Recovery”, I have made huge leaps on my own healing journey. 

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In early April 2019, this happened:

I had my first appointment with my new Christian Therapist (last professional therapy appointment was August 2018). Session went well. I was able to share almost all of my story. He is helping me look for a PTSD Specialist. Focus with him will be Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I started a web-based Therapy Journal describing my therapy progress.

My Therapy Journal can be found here (via Male Survivor’s forum page): (link in comments) 

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In mid-April 2019, this update happened:

I was inspired by those on Male Survivor’s forum who are battling clergy abuse head-on to re-open that chapter in my life (being abused at age 20 by a Methodist Minister). I reached out to the National UMC organization to let them know what had happened. I document the entire experience in another MS post. It was both informative and frustrating. The minister had passed away in 2014, but he had actually sent me an apology letter which I never received until 2019. Also after my initial report, 2 other victims came forward, though their abuse had 10 years and 20 years prior to my own. UMC offered to pay for my therapy but they ended up offering me an insultingly low amount, (along with a ridiculously complicated reimbursement procedure) so I refused to take it and we remain at an impasse for now. I ended up sharing my story with a newspaper covering my college town, which ran the story in the fall of 2019. UMC refused to cooperate with the newspaper for the story. 

Full story can be found here (via Male Survivor’s forum page):  (link in comments) 

(Continues in Part 4 - link in comments)