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I know He gave me life and I know I should feel blessed for still being here today; it’s that fact that my emotions, situations, and the people in my life are making me lose it. My memory is going bad for some reason and now I’m pissing off my boyfriend who has a little bit of a temperament; he gets angry with me because I can’t remember saying something or that I cant recall what I found on the internet or anything really. I just came home from work and cried because my pulled or strained Lattisimus Dorsi area that happened three weeks ago, I feel like I can’t work a well paying job and I feel like I can’t even keep a relationship from going toxic. My family is manipulative towards me meanwhile my sisters both have great jobs as teachers and get rewarded for that. My life is crumbling and I don’t know if I can take this anymore. Everything is making me frustrated and I feel like the worst case scenario alway happens. I feel like I’m about to lose my job and boyfriend all because of my depression and anxiety (mostly because I feel like I’m not doing things fast enough or not doing things the way my boss wants me to do them); the past three jobs I’ve had I got injured from: hip strain, tendon release & rerelease & then another rerelease in my left wrist, now it’s my entire left side that can’t really be mobile. There’s too much to list on here. Yeah, most of y’all are probably thinking just go see a therapist: I would if I wasn’t drowning in debt from my doctors visits in the past three years or so. I feel like I’m failing at being me. #PainManagement #Godhelpme #Depression #anger #ADHD #Anxiety #Crying #Disabilities #Temptation #LivingWithYourself #manipulation


#Temptation #Addiction #breakingthecycle

1 Corinthians 10:13 “there hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful who will not suffer you to be tempted above what [you] are able; but with the temptation also make a way to escape, that [you] may be able to bear it”
To me this stays God is aware of temptation but he has control with you, over you, and will provide a way to avoid your temptation. It speaks to me today as I have fought all day the urge to drink. And not just drink but full on binge day drink. I was scared I would give in. So far so good. And I feel better knowing if I feel tempted again, I just need to look around for the escape God will provide me. #MyTwoCents


#Temptation n

I wanted to discuss temptation. I said I had to be tempted in order to understand that temptation, know it was wrong, and not do it again.   For example someone offers me a cigarette, not having tried this before, so I try it, light it, find the taste foul, and the smell unpleasant, and see it has a high price tag, and decide I don't want to smoke.    My neurotypical friend said, No!   know it's bad and don't even try!    Which is right?   My logic mind says: take/try/understand/reject/don't do again.