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Understanding the Language Used

Medical kidnapping and illegal seizure are terms rarely used in the medical, psychiatric and law community, but they are real terms. You can read about medical kidnapping on Attorney Allison Folmar web site. To explain it to you in terms you may understand. For example, you take you child to the doctors and your complains are regarding their vaccinations. You explain to the doctor that your child had a reaction to the previous vaccination and you do not want to get any more for your child. The doctor does not agree with you and tells you that if your child does not get the vaccine they will cite you for medical neglect, eventhough your child has had all their other vaccines, but due to your refusal the medical personnel at the hospital calls CPS and they arrive. CPS states that since you refused medical treatment, your child needs these vaccinations and that is why they are having medical problems, you disagree, but since the hospital made the call the Social Worker states they have to take the child. This was one example of medical kidnapping.

What was done wrong? Nothing

What could the parent have done differently? Nothing

Where her rights violated? Yes

Where did the child go? The CPS worker took the child to enter foster care, while the case is being created for you to go to court.

Is this legal? No, but Medical kidnapping is crime, but many Attorneys do not practice specifically in this type of crime and do not refer to it as such. Within the medical kidnapping, you have violations of other laws that aren't followed, such as civil rights violations, the 4th, 8th and 14th amendment. Depending on the state you live in there may be other violations.

How can this happen? Financial Incentive

Everytime a child comes into state care, the federal government pays the state agency money for each child. If your child has a disability that comes into foster care, the state receives additional money; therefore, the more kids in care, the more money the state receives. Now, to be fair and honest The State of Maryland Baltimore City Department of Social Services are mandated to uphold policies and procedures to ensure children are safe, but if you don't have an administration that is abiding by the laws, policies or procedures then your rights are violated.

Who advocates or speaks up for the child and parent? Y.O.U

If there are specific questions that need to be answered, please provide them. #Abuse #SocialServices #FosterCare #cps #medicalkidnapping #parentalalienation #narcissistic #triangulation #manipulation #Children #MentalHealth #lawyer

In the next part of this journey I will provide certain laws and terminology used, so you can understand them.

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Reacting (without overreacting) to minor manipulations

Today was the second meeting of my depression therapy group. It runs from 10-11:30am weekly, and the facilitators were quite strict about attendance and punctuality in the first meeting. I entered the building at exactly 10am after a 30 minute walk to get there (bus drivers are on strike). The receptionist said that they had already gone back to the meeting room and that I had to sit and wait until the facilitator came to check for stragglers. I didn't like being characterized that way since I had arrived on time.

After waiting ten minutes, the facilitator came to get me (everyone else had apparently arrived earlier than 10am). I told her that I had come on time because I was worried that she would think badly of me since she had to interrupt the session to come get me. I asked if I needed to arrive early and she said no. I told her that the situation made me feel very anxious. The session itself went fine, but it took me at least thirty minutes to calm down enough to take it in.

I felt a bit manipulated in this situation by a "moving the goal posts" action - that is, I was told 10am was "on time" but then when I showed up at 10am, I was somehow "late". I know that I was triggered by this because my narcissistic ex used to do things like this to me all the time. It doesn't help that the facilitator was in a position of some authority - I had been on a waitlist for so long and I didn't want to lose the opportunity to be part of this group.

I've had a few of these situations happen lately and while I always maintain my composure in the moment (a lifetime of practice 🙃), I don't like the fallout afterward. I've been feeling it all through my body this afternoon.

I understand that this was a very minor issue, and that no one was hurt by it. But I feel like I am at a place in my journey where I just don't want to deal with these things anymore. "You're going to manipulate me? Fine. You don't get access to my life anymore." It's like an overreactive way to take back my power. I have felt so powerless for most of my life and now that I've learned how to get perspective, I'm just done with it. I don't want it in my life.

Realistically, though, these situations are going to constantly come up in my life because humans do these things. Even I do them to others. I am still figuring out how to navigate relationships in a healthy way.

#manipulation #Gaslighting #movingthegoalposts #Relationships #EmotionalAbuse #NarcissisticAbuse #Therapy #GroupTherapy #power #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety

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Dealing with my father who is lying to and about me

My father and I shared a close relationship for 48 years until my mother died. I'm an only child. I had a difficult relationship with my mother due to her aggressive personality and insistence that she was always right. She died years ago and while she was dying and immediately afterwards - unbeknownst to me he established a relationship with a woman who became my mother's best friend while she was dying from pancreatic cancer. He didn't tell me about this new relationship until they had already become committed to each other. My father always had narcissistic tendencies, and his new woman (whom he married a year to the day after my mother's funeral) indulges him in these tendencies to the point where he became insufferable. I haven't seen him in seven years or spoken to him in six. It is on my heart to do something about this, but because I intrinsically knew he was lying in the beginning I couldn't accept this new relationship. Since then I have found out that he has repeatedly lied and defamed my and my wife's character to many people, while trying to contact me maintaining that he doesn't know what he's done wrong.

Is there any point to trying to re-establish contact with my father at this point?

#narcissism #manipulation #Lying

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Manipulative People

"Controllers, abusers and manipulative people don't question themselves. They don't ask themselves if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else." #manipulation #BPD #MentalIllness #MentalHealth

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Chronic Pain vs Narcisistic Abuse via Health

I thought I’d share my experience as to why I waited so long to get answers for my chronic pain that ended up being #AnkylosingSpondylitis

My grandmother (my mom’s mother) is a narcissist, abuser, and just so happens to be chronically ill on top of that. Long story short, for my mom’s entire life my grandmother has used her various illnesses as a means to control those around her and guilt them into submission. It warped my mom’s perspective on those with chronic pain or illness, so for many years she would be easily triggered by any mention of pain that you couldn’t see with the naked eye. Basically, if you weren’t bleeding or something like that, it was surely a manipulation tactic and not an actual problem.

Fast forward to when I was ten. I started having horrid back pain. I tell mom, she says it’s growing pains. I keep telling her it still hurts. She gets triggered, I get shut down. This goes on for many years, into adulthood. I hesitated to tell her for so long that getting up in the mornings was excruciating, that I would randomly get so tired that I couldn’t function, and that everyday was a random draw of the cards - will I be on too much pain to even stand, or will I have enough energy to run three miles during gym?

Two years ago, my mother and I finally stepped away from the family, specifically my grandmother. And we’ve been having very intense honest talks - a lot being about how I couldn’t tell her about my pain, and her realizing how much I’ve been struggling since I was 10 (my older brother with nonverbal #Autism being diagnosed with AS also contributed to the conversation really opening up).

Ever since we’ve stepped away, I’ve felt more accepting of the fact that something is wrong and that it’s not all “in my head.” I recently got a diagnosis after all these years of not knowing, and started physical therapy and will be seeing a rheumatologist for the first time later this month. I have to catch myself from crying every time a doctor says things like “YOUR ankylosing…” or “YOUR chronic pain.” It’s so nice to be heard 😭❤️

I do have to mention that I’m pretty lucky to have a mom that is willing to work on these things and to apologize for not handling it well. We are working together to make sure the generational trauma and cycle of abuse ends with us. But we still trip up on occasion. Now that I have gotten some acknowledgement of my pain, I’m having a hard time not making it my entire personality 😂 I’m finding the balance with time. And she sometimes will get triggered and might knee-jerk into old habits, but she’s working on that as well.

Thanks for reading my rambling 🙈

#Diagnosis #ChronicIlless #ChronicPain #Narcisist #generationaltrauma #Abuse #manipulation


We all have a voice and rights to be heard

#BipolarDisorder I'm sick to the back teeth of people in general not actually listening to what I am saying. When I say no I mean no #Family #manipulation #Gaslighting Us with bipolar are not stupid or naive we are anything but 🙏

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Domestic Abuse Cycle #DomesticAbuse #NarcisisticAbuse #CoersiveControl #AmbientAbuse #manipulation

Yesterday I had time to recover from a very intense Narcissistic Rage episode from my partner, which occurred around 2:30am. I didn’t answer his phone call that night and he took it as a sign of disrespect and then verbally attacked me for hours. I’m proud of myself for not engaging with him. Prior to my recent growth, I had spent two years reacting to his abuse with my own outrage and making myself look silly in the process. It took 2 years to learn that I cannot fight this person back and nor should I have to. So I laid in bed and focused on taking deep belly breaths and extending my exhales so that my CNS could calm itself but often my body tenses up because I didn’t know of he was going to become violent. He didn’t but his anger got progressively worse as he talked himself in circles and made himself more angry with the lack of response. (It’s bizarre to watch someone talk to themselves and then work themselves up into a fit of rage) I have begun to see the humor in the ridiculousness of it all, he’s this angry over a phone call but doesn’t want to acknowledge that he brought it on himself by being abusive. When I hold him accountable for his ways, he turns more abusive. WTH He kept going on with loaded questions
“why are you talking to someone else Leah?”
“Why do you hate me leah?”
“Why don’t you love me leah?” And I just keep responding with
“I can’t answer a loaded question.
“I’m not stupid enough to answer that right now because I’m not safe.”

He uses my response to questions like that to react with more rage and I just wont give him anymore ammo. I just laid there and tried to block him out and sometimes I would interject when the time eas right but my higher self kept saying
“be quiet”
“it’s not worth it”
“Leave it alone”
It’s really not worth it. To watch him try to torture me because he’s upset over a phone call. He doesn’t just yell at me though, he likes to put on a show for the neighbors too. He made sure to keep yelling by the windows and the doors that I was cheating on him and that I was sleeping with someone else. So that just in case anyone hears him yelling, at least they know it’s because his girlfriend is a cheater. Yes he is this manipulative . I can’t make this up. It’s wild to watch play out. You can’t defend yourself against crazy it doesn’t work in your favor. I finally got him to calm down by just acknowledging that I wasn’t going to fight him and he looked silly trying. I was so tired. This is who he has been for 3 plus years. It’s not new. It’s not shocking anymore, It’s just old. I see that he’s not going to change and I don’t want this to be my future. I don’t have kids with him so I’m blessed. I can get out and I’m currently working on making that shift safely. What happens when you don’t love your abuser anymore? When they finally push you too far? “When you accept who they keep choosing to be?” “When you finally see that you deserve to be treated with respect?


Do people in your life add to your depression and anxiety?

Do you have people who are close to you that add to your depression or anxiety? If so, what do you do? And does anyone use your illness or insecurities to manipulate you or a situation?
#Depression #Anxiety #manipulation



I know He gave me life and I know I should feel blessed for still being here today; it’s that fact that my emotions, situations, and the people in my life are making me lose it. My memory is going bad for some reason and now I’m pissing off my boyfriend who has a little bit of a temperament; he gets angry with me because I can’t remember saying something or that I cant recall what I found on the internet or anything really. I just came home from work and cried because my pulled or strained Lattisimus Dorsi area that happened three weeks ago, I feel like I can’t work a well paying job and I feel like I can’t even keep a relationship from going toxic. My family is manipulative towards me meanwhile my sisters both have great jobs as teachers and get rewarded for that. My life is crumbling and I don’t know if I can take this anymore. Everything is making me frustrated and I feel like the worst case scenario alway happens. I feel like I’m about to lose my job and boyfriend all because of my depression and anxiety (mostly because I feel like I’m not doing things fast enough or not doing things the way my boss wants me to do them); the past three jobs I’ve had I got injured from: hip strain, tendon release & rerelease & then another rerelease in my left wrist, now it’s my entire left side that can’t really be mobile. There’s too much to list on here. Yeah, most of y’all are probably thinking just go see a therapist: I would if I wasn’t drowning in debt from my doctors visits in the past three years or so. I feel like I’m failing at being me. #PainManagement #Godhelpme #Depression #anger #ADHD #Anxiety #Crying #Disabilities #Temptation #LivingWithYourself #manipulation