If you haven't heard of it (like I hadn't til last night) TMS stands for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. It's a treatment done while your awake and doesn't require any invasive or surgical procedures like electro convulsive therapy. It works by stimulating parts of the brain that control mood. I actually discovered this through reading up on electrical convulsive therapy, because I really feel like i'm at the end of my rope with depression right now. I've tried multiple medications as well as boosters and multiple combinations but no meds seem to do anything, but maybe make me more numb. And as far as talk therapy goes, I have experienced breakthroughs in the past and it is helpful at times, but no matter how helpful it can be, how can I really get better if I am living in so much of a brain fog and lack of stimuli that I can't really learn or process anything? Because that is what it feels like to me and I would be willing to try just about anything to wake up from it. Let me know if any of you have heard of or tried any type of stimulation therapy for your mental health. I'd love to hear about it! #Depression #Anxiety #Dermatillomania #ElectroconvulsiveTherapy #tmstherapy
On my 7th day
It's been a rough day. I have all of this crazy stuff swirling around my head. What's going to happen at my doctors appointment tomorrow? Is this drastic mood swing PMS, something else, or is my treatment not working? I need to stop obsessing over it because it might make the treatment so working. What if it really isn't and I'm going to feel like crap the rest of my life? Where is my life going? How should I feel? What's going on with my body? And on and on and on... I just want to call into bed and never get out.
In the past 4 years, I've been diagnosed with #hashimoto 's, #HereditaryHemochromatosis among other diagnoses that cause many symptoms. I also have #treatmentresistant major depressive disorder and insane anxiety. I have failed all depression treatments, spent this year trying #Ketamineinfusions which worked at first and then made me feel like I was losing my mind. I am waiting to be approved by insurance for #tmstherapy. On top of all of this, I have lost my parents due to lack of understanding and wanting to learn. I was told "if I am #suicidal, I should be institutionalized. " by my dad who raised me as the only child and his baby girl. They and my friends know I am suffering in every way and have not offered to help financially, which they could afford it. I am working 7 days a week with debilitating, dead inside depression, 20 symptoms from my illnesses etc just to barely pay some Bill's. I have no one to turn to. My 12 year relationship has been on the rocks for a lolong while. He uunderstands but is losing patience as I have nothing to offer. I am living rent and utility free for now. I get food assistance from a local resource but desperately need help and support. I filed for disability a year ago and have been denied a few times so an aattorney is helping me for the next appeal but only qualify for SSDI. It would be so helpful to have the little amount a month to help pay Bill's and not have to work so much. I am not even 40 and my life for the past 4 years is work and lay down or sleep when home. I used to be crafty, keep our house clean and beautiful, see friends and now I make myself go to work only because I know the consequences. I am so ready to give up. No one understands really how I feel and the ones that have stuck around just say "sorry." Are there any resources that would help in any way? I have reached out to A LOT. I have a psychologist and psychiatrist but it's not enough. A mental hospital isn't going to get my life back and can't afford any time off. Is our country really this broken?