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I have a question

Hi! I have skin-picking disorder. My family has tried to get me to stop and I have tried to stop on my own. I pick until I bleed, and in the moment it feels good, but I end up getting blood on my clothes, and I even got an infection once. My mom bought me fidget toys (Pop-Its, fidget spinners, etc). I’m not trying to be ungrateful at all, but fidget toys just don’t work for me, and I’m not sure why. Nothing else feels as good for relieving my anxiety as picking (it feels awful afterward, of course). I’m just wondering if fidget toys don’t work for anyone else or if I’m the only one.
#Dermatillomania #ExcoriationSkinPickingDisorder #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #MentalHealth

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I just can't STOP although I know I need to!

Does anyone suffer from scalp picking? I'm embarrassed to even write about it. People in my life just tell me to stop it, just don't do it....but I can't.
My last partner was kind about it---and we had a code-- when he noticed I was doing it he would make some gesture with his hand. This worked well. Now I live alone and have no one to help me stop.
My psychiatrist has put me on Prozac-- because I need a new anti-depressant as I'm sliding into depression and also thinking Prozac will help w the picking. I'm weaning off another Effexor & hoping for the best.
He says it's not related to OCD---and I agree-no other symptoms, but all to do w my depression. Well it's been going on for over a year now. At first just every couple days and in one spot....progressing now to about 15 areas on my head and several times/day.
Yes-gloves---I used to keep them in my night table-- but they ended up somewhere and I haven't put them back. Night time before bed is the worst-- and these days I spend a lot of time in bed!
I'm on a medical leave from work---so much time to sit around....which most often leads to my fingers running thru my hair!
Any tips would be much appreciated.
#Anxiety #Dermatillomania

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DARVO: The Twisted Defence of Abusers

I’ve long been familiar with being on the receiving end of DARVO, but never had the words to explain it so succinctly. In the realm of psychological manipulation, I think few tactics are as insidious and disorienting as DARVO. It stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender," a concept first identified by psychologist Jennifer Freyd. It's a defensive strategy used by perpetrators of wrongdoing, particularly those accused of abuse, to deflect blame, invert reality, and maintain power and control.

Denial is the abuser’s first line of defence. When confronted with evidence of their misconduct, abusers outright DENY the behaviour—often delivered with such confidence and composure that it can be incredibly persuasive to others. Following denial, perpetrators ATTACK the credibility of the accuser. This can be direct or subtle, with the abuser often portraying the accuser as mentally unstable, attention seeking, or manipulative. Finally, the most disorienting part of DARVO is the reversal of roles, where the PERPETRATOR claims they are the actual VICTIM. This can involve expressing hurt feelings, seeking sympathy, or claiming they are the ones who have been wronged.

I think that what makes DARVO so effective is that it exploits our inclination to give people the benefit of the doubt, it weaponises the victim's vulnerabilities, and intentionally obscures the truth. The reversal of victim and offender can be so convincing that it not only causes others to question the victim's claim, but can also make victims question their own reality and sanity. I am “fortunate” in that my early childhood experiences taught me to trust in myself, so that I never questioned my own sanity or reality. Yet it was incredibly isolating; knowing some things were not right but not having the words to explain it, so that for some years I self harmed as a coping mechanism.

Years of reflection have helped me understand that the ‘heart’ of abuse is really quite simple: it thrives in the shadows of ignorance. Naturally, this makes illuminating knowledge one of our strongest weapons against it. The second is calling that sh*t out when we see it 🏹

#Abuse #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Anxiety #Trauma #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #ChronicFatigue #Fibromyalgia #Depression #Selfharm #Dermatillomania #Trichotillomania #Selflove #Selfcare

35 reactions 14 comments

I'm new here!

Hi, my name is 10pm. I'm here because I have dermatillomania and want help and advice from someone may know how to navigate it. Being distracted and working while forgetting about myself and helping others was a huge plus. When the job stopped, hell broke loose, and old habits returned. Best medicine for me is to always keep busy. Your thoughts? Thank you in advance for your help.


3 reactions 1 comment

The severity of my disease makes it painful to play my instrument

*I am 18, I just haven't graduated high school yet*

I've been struggling with skin-picking as long as I can remember, and have actually had two minor surgeries to correct severe ingrown and infected toenails. Both surgeries were completely traumatizing, and at the end of the second one the doctor told me that continuing this way would not be good for me in the long run, and I responded by saying I had struggled with dermatillomania for years and I was aware of the issue. He dismissed me, and my father later said he probably thought I was just another teenager reading too much on the internet. My dad also said right after the surgery, "this traumatized me more than it did you" (He was present for the procedure, I was only 14). I was furious. How could someone so dear to me say something like that about something he witnesses daily. It consumes my every moment, and he wanted to say that he had it worse because he witnessed some of it?

Sadly, the views of my parents haven't changed since then, but that's not why I'm writing this.

I currently attend a performing arts high school, and my skin picking is hurting me when I play my instrument (cello). The damage to my cuticles and around my nail beds gets so serious that my hands start to bleed after rehearsal, and at home I don't bother practicing because of the mental anguish it gives me that I can't do what I love. I need help, and don't know how to change anything when I already have so many other problems (possible narcolepsy, autism, adhd, depression, anxiety, etc).

I read so many success stories about people who manage to live their lives in spite of the issues that pull them down, but I'm not sure how to bounce back from all this.

#Dermatillomania #Selfharm

1 comment

anxiety or self harm?

I've never been diagnosed with any skinpicking disorder formally but I used to pinch myself, hit myself etc when I was young because I was the one who should be hurt.
Fast forward at least 25 years and sometimes when I come back in from a bath, I'm happy with my skin, how the soap made it feel and smell... Until I find anything that stands out. I know I shouldn't pick because I'll be mad at myself about what if someone sees blood on my clothes?
It's like every time I'm fine with how I look, the next minute, I'm pinching, trying to pop something. Then my mental rumination goes on,
you're ugly
you don't know how to care for yourself
you're evil
you're a coward for not committing suicide
you're shit.
Everyone's using nonverbal gestures to talk about how awful you look
they say one thing, maybe a compliment but they're meaning the extreme opposite

I dissociate, but don't notice it until some time passes and my partner on the inside is calling my name, the name I use because I hate my given name,
he's trying to get my attention because I'm bleeding. Bleeding? What? Who? me probably.
Shit. I know I'm evil. Have to get the evil out, right? Only way to do that is to make it flat.
inside partner manages to come out, wash the hands, put something like menthol on the cuts.
I come back.
Mental rage begins.
My parents always made fun of me for having pimples, and even more so when their cleanser etc acne stuff didn't do a damned thing. They made fun of my teth.
And I can't get those words out of my head.
I need something that feels the same, making the same motions but not on me. We once got some oranges. for some reason peeling them felt like picking but wasn't. The same goes for peeling boiled eggs. But neither of those is portable or easily renewable. So how do I not do this? I don't know if it's anxiety, wishing to flattening the bumps to hide them or if it's me punishing myself but doing it in such a way that even if everything is taken away from me that I can still hurt myself. Rationally I don't want to, but emotionally I just hate myself more than anything or anyone on this planet. I don't want to exist. But I know the others in our bands do want me to, and do care. I'm the one who wants to fight by fighting myself, to run by not being myself, having someone else just take over all the time. That last one I'm getting better at balance between letting others who are safe enough and want to come out do so, but also being myself. I just don't know what this is, and because we have a lot of others inside who struggle, it's hard to find enough time to ask about this. Most of the people I know inside have something like this that they do. For some, the evil isn't as strong, but for me and one other especially lately, it's hard, sometimes impossible not to do this. It's like I'm not allowed to feel like I'm anything other than evil. Not evil like ruin the world evil, evil like I should be a worm crushed beneath someone's shoe. Evil like repulsive and a shame to the world. I know fixing my view of myself will take time, but I really need some things, with descriptions not pictures, that others use to make the same kind of feeling in a safer way. Please. I would really appreciate it. I'm picking before I know I'm picking. #CPTSD #Dissociation #ChronicDepression

5 reactions 3 comments


Hi all,
I’m new here. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for a long time, but in the last few years, have also been suffering from #Dermatillomania - skin picking. I’m not sure if it stems from the anxiety and depression or if I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) as well. All I do know is that it is ruining my life. I feel so ashamed. I’ve picked at my face since before I can remember, popping pimples and what not, but now it’s every ingrown hair I see. Sometimes, I pick so much, I make huge holes in my body. I finally talked to my significant other about it and he made me feel so stupid. He said “Just control yourself. It’s ridiculous”. It was hurtful, to say the least. I don’t know what to do anymore.

12 reactions 5 comments