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Ketamine worked! Crossing fingers and toes that it holds!

Ketamine worked for me... I'm crossing my fingers every day.

TL;DR: Ketamine worked when nothing else did. I have my life back....

So I had the opportunity to try Ketamine. We have a very progressive clinic (for MONTANA!!) in my city and everything seemed to align and I was able to try it.

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 at age 36, 15 years ago. After learning about the disease, it was established that it began at 17. I tried to get it under control for years with medications, therapy, different doctors. I finally got it to the point that the intense, full-blown manias stopped, but the depression continued.

At age 42, the depression really took root as the major factor. I spent the next 8 years with a few hospitalizations and suicidal most of the time. There were some brief moments it lifted (the mania trying to break through) but it never lasted. I began to understand why so many individuals with Bipolar end up committing suicide in later (50s - 60s) years. My doctors and therapists confirmed that when you get older, even with medication, depression, brain fog, and the really awful parts of Bipolar seem to intensify. And let's be real. After we know what's going on, we know that manic episodes are destructive. However, in my experience with Bipolar depression, there were times I would romanticize the missed mania. At least I felt good when that happened- regardless of the destruction I would 'wake up' to later on.

So Ketamine appeared. I have never been a drug-user. I was a drinker in my 20s and have gone through various stages of using alcohol as a buffer - but no alcoholism. (I KNOW alcoholism, my mother and brother have both died from it.)

All I can say is HOLY CRAP. It worked. It's been 9 months and I just cannot explain how well it worked. I have NEVER in my life felt this good -- and in a stable way - no mania, hypomania, etc. If this is what people without mental illness feel like -- I was robbed more than I ever understood.

If you get the opportunity - and I know it's still rare and expensive, etc. (I was lucky my insurance helped with the cost.) TRY IT! Please! TRY IT!#ketamine #Ketamineinfusions

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Ketamine infusions for pain

Can anyone share your experience with ketamine infusions to treat chronic pain (fibromyalgia, CRPS, neuropathy, general pain, etc)? I have severe nerve pain that really limits my functioning and I would like to try ketamine infusions if I can find a way to access them. I’m speaking to my pain specialist next week and am wondering how to approach this topic with him? He has been very hesitant in the past when I’ve asked about this as he is concerned about side effects. I’m in Canada and not sure if these treatments are available in my city (let alone if they are covered or out of pocket), but I’m willing to travel if necessary. Any advice or thoughts you can share would be very appreciated!! Thanks so much!

#ketamine #Ketamineinfusions #ChronicPain #CRPS #Fibromyalgia #nervepain #severepain

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Trying to Find Self Forgiveness and Create Change

I had another ketamine infusion today. Between the cost, that mainly my retired mom who’s not well off has taken up, and COVID-19 I haven’t gone as frequently this year. It’s shown in the need to adjust my dose each time, and still my mood just hasn’t lifted much with the lags.

Well, in today’s infusion things started off as they normally do. We have a nurse sit in our infusion the whole time to be safe, and there’s one that I’m most comfortable with but given how things have been this year, it hasn’t happened as often as in the past. But thank god she was with me today. Halfway, or maybe longer idk, I started to panic and things seemed ultra freaky. I didn’t know what was real, and if I’d ever get back. She coached me through it. By the time I sorta realized it was ok, I was balling. Partly because of the fear but I also keep saying “I’m broken,” “I failed,” etc. because I somehow thought I’d f***ed up the infusion and I was “doing it wrong.”

This is all to say, I’m SO tired of treating myself like I’m a failure, or damaged goods. It physically hurts. And who knows how this infusion will work in the long run but I hope maybe, in some way, that almost horrifying moment could be a bit of an epiphany, a turning point for myself. Maybe just releasing everything I had been stuffing was helpful, too. But now, I’d just like to find a way to be kinder to myself, as foreign and as difficult as it sounds. #Ketamineinfusions #Depression #Bipolar2Disorder #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #PTSD #MentalHealth


Struggling to Accept My Mental Illness Consumed the first Decade of My Adult Life

I’m not quite thirty and I haven’t been able to hold a job let alone pursue a career due to my mental health problems getting bad in high school and much worse upon graduating. I tried college but had to withdraw before the first semester ended. After that I was in and out of psych wards, treatment facilities, just wasting away. There was a span of time I isolated so much, I didn’t drive, I only went to medical and psych appointments, and had no friends. I was significantly overweight, using food, and sometimes substances (though sometimes I was even too anxious and depressed to put effort into going out to find, sounds crazy I know) to numb out.

I eventually went to treatment in another state which really helped. I finally made friends, learned some independence, and sorta felt normal. When I got home I took a class at a community college, did really well but when the second semester came and I signed up for two classes, I crashed. Ended up back in the psych ward, and started ECTs which barely helped. Later started DBT which years later I’m still in and I feel like I’m so broken that I’ll never graduate even though I’ve not relapsed nor been hospitalized in over 2 years. I started ketamine infusions almost 2 years ago, I hate that my family foots the bill.

I’m looking to try working again, I’m on disability so it’s tricky, to say the least. And I’m living with family since I can’t afford anything else but I’m so tired of it. It’s just embarrassing how much I depend on others and how much I have to learn that others learned at 18. I just feel so pathetic and I know that’s not helpful but it’s hard when I know others view me that way, and some people who do have some say/influence.

It’s funny because as ashamed as I feel, it seems like I make a lot of excuses. I want to just “rip that bandaid off” and do everything that I’ve avoided or been unsure of, I just don’t know why I feel so stuck in the I “can’t” vs I “can”. Sorry this got so long, just needed to vent anonymously. Thanks to anyone who reads. #Depression #Bipolar2Disorder #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #AvoidantPersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #PsychWard #PsychiatricHospital #ElectroconvulsiveTherapy #Ketamineinfusions


ECT versus IV ketamine? High cost of treatments.

Has anyone else reached the point where the cost of their depression treatments might just be too much? I’ve done a round of IV ketamine with a booster with moderate improvement but the cost is SO great I just don’t think I can keep up with it for as many boosters as I need every few months. My psychiatrist has recommended ECT but I’m afraid that with my insurance deductible it’ll also be too much for the first initial few weeks and then having to keep up with maintenance. I’m just at a loss. At what point should I just try to work with the severe (but highly functional) depression that I have? #Depression #MDD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SuicidalThoughts #ECT #ElectroconvulsiveTherapy #Ketamineinfusions #ketamine #MentalHealth


I need help in so many ways but little resources. Are there any options or places to reach out to that I haven't done?

In the past 4 years, I've been diagnosed with #hashimoto 's, #HereditaryHemochromatosis among other diagnoses that cause many symptoms. I also have #treatmentresistant major depressive disorder and insane anxiety. I have failed all depression treatments, spent this year trying #Ketamineinfusions which worked at first and then made me feel like I was losing my mind. I am waiting to be approved by insurance for #tmstherapy. On top of all of this, I have lost my parents due to lack of understanding and wanting to learn. I was told "if I am #suicidal, I should be institutionalized. " by my dad who raised me as the only child and his baby girl. They and my friends know I am suffering in every way and have not offered to help financially, which they could afford it. I am working 7 days a week with debilitating, dead inside depression, 20 symptoms from my illnesses etc just to barely pay some Bill's. I have no one to turn to. My 12 year relationship has been on the rocks for a lolong while. He uunderstands but is losing patience as I have nothing to offer. I am living rent and utility free for now. I get food assistance from a local resource but desperately need help and support. I filed for disability a year ago and have been denied a few times so an aattorney is helping me for the next appeal but only qualify for SSDI. It would be so helpful to have the little amount a month to help pay Bill's and not have to work so much. I am not even 40 and my life for the past 4 years is work and lay down or sleep when home. I used to be crafty, keep our house clean and beautiful, see friends and now I make myself go to work only because I know the consequences. I am so ready to give up. No one understands really how I feel and the ones that have stuck around just say "sorry." Are there any resources that would help in any way? I have reached out to A LOT. I have a psychologist and psychiatrist but it's not enough. A mental hospital isn't going to get my life back and can't afford any time off. Is our country really this broken?

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